Songs For Your Mother Gordon MacMillan (good books for 7th graders .txt) 📖

‘I’m reading to Luke, Mummy, and I’m showing him new words,’ Georgia says.

‘She does read very well,’ TSP says. ‘Mrs Allison says she’s the best reader in the year.’

‘I hope you’re not raising an overly competitive daughter,’ I say.

‘What? She does, she is a great reader. Besides, it’s in her genes,’ TSP replies. ‘I don’t think there’s anything that I can do about it.’

‘Sure there isn’t,’ I say. ‘Come on, Luke. It’s time to go home.’

‘No, I don’t want to,’ Luke says.

When he says this, I stand there and stare at him. I’m frozen in place, wrapped in a shocked silent stillness. I know that I shouldn’t be, only I am. It is the first time he’s done this. In the months that have passed since he arrived, he has never said no or refused to do anything that I’ve asked. I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face and I’m dumbstruck. I look back at him, and he looks straight back, unmoving. I really have no idea how to handle this.

‘It’s getting late,’ I say.

‘No. I don’t want to. I want to stay here,’ Luke says, and he looks at me with his features scrunched up as if gearing up for a fight and not about to give ground. I turn to TSP for some support, and she smiles, relaxed, as if to say she’s been through all of this. That is good to know as I am panicked.

‘Georgia has to go to bed soon, Luke. You know Daddy will bring you back any time you like,’ TSP says.

‘Can’t Luke stay, Mummy?’ Georgia asks.

Not helping, Georgia, I think. I don’t say it. I also manage to suppress the half-formed thought that maybe life would be better for all concerned if Luke stayed with TSP. She’s so much better at this than me. I dismiss this thought and remind myself that Luke is Lauren’s and mine. We made him, and he has taken a long time to get here. Now that he has arrived, I cannot waste this opportunity to be with him as I’ve already missed so much. Besides, Lauren didn’t send Luke to England to be parcelled off to my friends when the going gets tough. Lauren sent him to England to be with me, and I know that’s the only place he should be.

‘He has his own bed at home,’ TSP says.

‘But I don’t like it,’ says Luke.

‘Come on, buddy, I have your coat,’ I say.

‘No, no, I want to stay. Mommy would let me stay,’ Luke says.

His words send a shiver through me. This is the first time he has invoked his mother in this way and used her as a wedge between us. It is like he is rolling out the big guns and using her to manipulate me. I am quiet as I work out how best to proceed. I know I have to be careful where the two of them are concerned. I also know that I need to say something and to respond as that’s my job as a parent.

‘Would she? I’m sure she would want you tucked up in your own bed. So please let’s be good and say goodnight to Georgia and TSP and put your coat on,’ I say.

TSP gives me a nod of encouragement, only my words don’t have the desired effect as Luke refuses to budge.

‘No. I want to stay,’ Luke says. ‘I don’t want to go.’

At this point, I don’t have much choice or many other options, and so I take a step forward with his coat in hand and that must be the signal as, out of nowhere, Luke starts to wail. He throws himself onto his back and hits the floor with the palms of his hands, and there are tears, big choking salty wet tears, rolling down his face. He screams out ‘no’ over and over. Lauren’s notes don’t stretch this far. I think of what it was like for me as a kid when my dad jolted me around and shoved my arms into the coat before yanking me unwillingly by the arm as he told me that I was going home whether I liked it or not. I can’t do that, as that kind of behaviour isn’t right. I would never hurt or force Luke in that way.

It is like the very first moment all over again. It is like I’m back at square one and do not know the first thing. I’m thinking that this cannot be happening, or more precisely that it cannot be happening to me. For a moment I am wholly impotent and then TSP steps forward so that she is standing alongside me and gives my shoulder a squeeze. She kneels down, helps Luke sit up, and brushes her hand through his hair as Georgia joins in and holds his hand.

‘You can come back soon Luke, and you’ll see Georgia tomorrow when I take you both to school. Is that okay?’

Luke remains sullen and quiet, and then I have an idea. This time I save myself.

‘How about a story and a song?’ I suggest to Luke.

Slowly, Luke’s expression changes. ‘Horses, I want that one.’

‘The horses, which one is that?’ TSP asks.

‘It’s not a story, Mummy. It’s a song,’ Georgia says.

‘We can have the horses when we get home, and a story too,’ I say.

‘You play him the song?’ TSP asks.

‘Yeah, “Wild Horses”. Lauren loved it, and Luke does too. I played it for her that one time and, well, yeah,’ I say and shrug.

‘We’d like to hear it too, wouldn’t we, Georgie?’ TSP says.

‘Yes, will you play it for us, Johnny?’ Georgia asks.

‘Of course. Next time I’ll bring the guitar, but only if we can play it tonight at home. Otherwise I might forget how it goes,’ I say.

That’s all it takes. Luke has his coat on and we are down the stairs and out of the door and back on track. The storm appears