Deep River Promise Jackie Ashenden (best life changing books .txt) 📖

Astrid realized that her eyes were full of tears.

She blinked fiercely and smiled. “I’m fine. I’m just…so pleased you’re going to keep going to school.”

Connor inspected her. “You must be very pleased if you’re crying about it.”

“I’m sorry.” The words burst out of her before she could stop them. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about your father. You were so upset when I took you away from Aiden and I was afraid to trust Caleb with you. I didn’t want him to break your heart or let you down the way he did me. And I—”

“Mom,” Connor interrupted gently. “It’s fine.” And then much to her shock, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. He was big, her son, and getting broad, and though he could do with a shower, for a minute she closed her eyes and hugged him back, remembering the small, wriggly boy he’d once been. Who’d given her so much joy at a time when there wasn’t much of it to be had.

He’d never let her down, this boy of hers. In a lifetime of people who had, he’d never done so.

“I’m sorry too,” he said after a second, his voice muffled near the side of her ear. “I shouldn’t have liked Aiden so much. I should have seen how horrible he was to you and I didn’t.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that, Con. You were a kid and you wanted a dad.” She squeezed him tight, then let him go and stood back. “Is that what all this protective stuff is about? About me and Aiden?”

He shrugged, stuck his hands in his pockets, and looked at the floor. For all that he could be uncannily perceptive about certain things, he was also still a teenage boy and uncomfortable about feelings.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “Damon said it wasn’t my fault. That it was Aiden’s.”

A little rush of grief hit her. Of course. How could she not have seen that?

“Your fault for what?” she asked thickly.

“My fault for…liking him, I guess. For wanting to stay. I didn’t know he hurt you till after.”

She didn’t want to cry yet again, so she looked at the floor too, emotion sitting like a stone in her chest. “I know you didn’t. I didn’t want you to know. But…” Blinking hard, she looked at him. “Damon’s right. None of that was your fault. None of it. Understand?”

Her son’s blue gaze met hers. Slowly, he nodded.

“It was Aiden’s,” she went on, the truth of it settling inside her as she spoke and it wasn’t just intellectual this time. She felt it too, heavy and sure. “He didn’t respect us. And he sure as hell didn’t care about us. And getting you away from him was the best choice I ever made.”

There was relief in Connor’s expression and then he smiled. “You’re fierce when you’re angry, Mom.”

The love she had for her son nearly strangled her, and she wanted to give him another big hug, squeeze him tight. But even one hug was rare for him and she didn’t want to push it.

“Yes, and don’t you forget it.”

His gaze turned very direct all of a sudden. “Damon’s a good guy. I like him.”

The abrupt change of subject triggered a memory.

Damon, who’d stood there in Hope’s sunny kitchen, tall and powerful, the gold strands in his dark hair gleaming, looking at her with hunger in his eyes at the same time he told her it wasn’t a good idea. That she shouldn’t make this something it wasn’t.

She’d been hurt; she couldn’t deny it. The rejection had made her feel like she had over the years with various different people in her life, asking for what she wanted only to be shot down. Only to be denied and refused or not to be listened to. And she’d done what she’d always done in those situations: she’d hidden her hurt, hadn’t made it a big deal, turned and walked away.

And it wasn’t a big deal, was it? It was only sex. And Damon was an amazing man, sure, but he would be leaving tomorrow. So maybe it was for the best that they left it at one night.

He’d been right, though: last night had been special.

“Yes, he is,” Astrid said, turning away and direction her attention to the cart full of books. “But he’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“I know. Actually…” Connor paused and took a breath. “I think he should stay.”

Astrid looked up at him in surprise. “What?”

Connor’s expression was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “He should stay.”

“He can’t, Con. His mother is sick and he needs to be with her.”

“I know that. But…” Connor shifted on his feet. “I think he needs us.”

For a second, Astrid could only stand there and stare at her son. “What makes you say that?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I dunno. He had a daughter who died, and when he told me, he had this look on his face…” Connor shook his head. “It was lonely. And he doesn’t have a dad, he’s only got his mom. Not that that’s a bad thing, but…”

“A boy needs a man, right?”

Connor looked at her solemnly. “Yeah.”

And a man needs a boy.

That might well have been true, but she remembered Damon’s face this afternoon as Silas had suggested that he stay and that he bring his mother here too. His features had hardened and it had been clear he hadn’t liked that idea one bit, which made Connor’s observation wishful thinking at best.

That thought made her heart ache.

“He can’t stay, Con.” She didn’t hide the regret in her voice, though it was only for her son’s sake. Definitely not for her own. “There’s better healthcare in LA than there is up here, and if she’s sick, that’s what she’s going to need.”

But there was a determined look on her son’s face, the same kind of look he’d had when he’d told her that he was giving up school to keep an eye on the town. The same