Lauren Takes Leave Gerstenblatt, Julie (classic literature list txt) 📖

witha Mohawk and lots of gold jewelry. We quickly push through the throngs ofdrunkards and reach the table.

“How dare you?” Jodi scolds, now standing and facing thisvery large, fierce-looking man. “You have no right taking pictures of us!”

“Lady, I was just getting a shot of…” He trails off,trying to come up with an excuse. “The pool?” he finishes.

Jodi tosses her long hair defiantly. “You were not! Youtook a picture of me and my friends here, and I don’t appreciate it one bit!”

“Jodi…” Tim begins, trying to calm her down. Kat arrivesat the table just as we do.

“Forget it, Artist. Once she starts…” Kat shakes her head.“You just gotta let her go until she’s done.”

“Wow, she’s worse than Ruby!” he laughs.

“Lady, your ass is beautiful, what can I say?”

“My…?” This stops Jodi. “You were taking a picture of myass?” Her tone is noticeably softer. “Not a picture of…” She trails off beforesaying “my friend Tim Cubix here?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He bows. “It’s a beaut. I have a collectionon my wall and yours is gonna go front and center.”

“Well.” Jodi smiles. “In a perverted sort of way, I’m morethan slightly flattered.”

“That’s my girl,” Kat jokes as I join her at the table.

“Now, if you could just…” he says, motioning for her tomove left a little bit. Left, toward Tim.

“Jodi! He’s lying! Paparazzi alert!” I call out. Jodiimmediately pushes Tim out of the way and poses for the shot alone, with herhair covering her face, unrecognizable. Then she grabs Tim’s arm and they pushtheir way toward the exit as Kat, Lenny and I follow close behind.

“Hey!” I say, tapping the arm of the bouncer Jodi dancedwith earlier. “Could you maybe throw that asshole over there into the pool?” Ipoint to Mohawk, who’s fiddling with his phone.

“For Jodi? I’d do anything!” he yells back.

“And make sure his phone goes in with him, please, sir!”Kat adds. “Bastard!” she yells toward the paparazzi, giving him the finger.

Outside the Clevelander, we gather by the far side of thecourtyard gate and peer over the railing as the dude, his Mohawk, and his phonego overboard. Jodi and Tim high-five each other as we all jump into a cabidling on the corner.

“When that guy gets dry, he’s gonna come looking for us. Iknow the type. Plus, he’s got friends, so he’ll just send out an APB till I’mfound,” Tim says, leaning back in the taxi, which still hasn’t moved. “Fuckingbummer.”

Chapter 21

“Where to?” the cabbie asks.

“Tommy’s Tattoo Parlor,” Tim instructs. “You know it?”

The cabdriver nods and pulls away from the curb.

The ride is a silent one, as we each assess our ownblood-alcohol levels and try to regroup.

“I’m sorry,” Jodi says to the darkness.

“It’s okay,” Tim says, knowing the apology is meant forhim. “You didn’t know. You have no reason not to trust people.”

“No, I mean, I’m sorry for buying those tabloids for allthose years, for feeding the media’s frenzy and for contributing to what almosthappened to you tonight.”

“It is a serious pain in the ass,” Tim concedes. “But it’sbigger than just you, Jodi. Way bigger.”

“I just want you to know that I’m starting to get it. Thatmaybe being famous isn’t the point…” She trails off. “I’m not making sense. Butthat was kind of scary.”

“Agreed,” I say, nodding. “And, Jo, you’re making perfectsense to me.” I wink. “Now you know: the grass is fucking brown.”

“Huh?” Everyone turns to me, the nonspecific questionasked in chorus.

“You know, like the opposite of the ‘grass is alwaysgreener’ idea,” I say by way of explanation, mostly for my own benefit. Ineeded Lenny to show up at my door and say, Here I am if you want me.Jodi needed someone to try and take her picture for profit. None of it feelsall that great, once it happens.

Except maybe for Kat standing up to our principal. That’sgot to be a pretty satisfying sensation.

“What time is it?” Kat asks.

“Like twelve forty-five.” I yawn.

“What we need is some blood soup!” Lenny says. “Like theydrink in Korea, to refuel. To get rid of all the toxins.”

“I’ve got a couple of hair elastics, a Tylenol sinus pill,and a few packs of Barbie chewies if anyone wants,” Jodi offers, diggingthrough her oversized metallic clutch.

“This is it,” the cabdriver announces. “Ride’s on me.”

We start to protest, but he waves us away and winks atTim. “See ya later, Black Dawn.”

“I guess that disguise wasn’t as ironclad as we thought,”I muse. I watch Tim as he looks into the mirror lining one side of the tattooparlor and scrapes the mole off his face.

“It’s all good,” he says, nonchalantly. Like he’s readinga line from a script. I start to wonder, what the hell?

“So…why are you hanging out with us, again?” Kat, Lennyand Jodi are off flipping through books, deciding which tattoos they would getif they were getting tattoos.

“Because,” he shrugs. “You’re regular people. I can’t evenremember the last time I was with normal, non-Hollywood types, except for myfamily and some guys I grew up with, that is.”

“Okay.”

“It’s like this. You know how you think it’s fun to hangout with me?”

I nod.

“Well, it’s the same for me. I’ve been gone so long fromnormal, I’d just like to be around it a bit and hope some of it rubs off onme.”

He finishes removing the hat and mole and uses somecleanser on the counter to scrub the remaining gunk off his face. “Plus, I likeMC Lenny. I have a project I want to pitch to him. Tommy!” he shouts with asmile, upon seeing a compact, completely bald man emerge from the back.

“Cubix! How you been?” Tommy gives Tim a handshake–armbump. His muscular arms are covered in tattoos and several earrings pierce bothears. He reaches for something from a packet on the counter and puts it in hismouth.

Tim laughs. “Still sucking toothpicks, my friend?”

“Not sucking them. Chewing,” Tommy clarifies. “Liketwenty, thirty a day. Only thing that keeps me sober.”

“Amen.” Tim nods. “Good for you.”

“So?” Tommy waits.

“Long story. Bottom line is, I bonded with this fine grouphere, and now we’re kind of on the lam from some paparazzi