The Tenant of Wildfell Hall Anne BrontĂ« (librera reader .txt) đ
- Author: Anne Brontë
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âAre you very angry, Helen?â murmured he.
âThis is no jest, Arthur,â said I, seriously, but as calmly as I couldâ ââunless you think it a jest to lose my affection forever.â
âWhat! so bitter?â he exclaimed, laughingly, clasping my hand between both his; but I snatched it away, in indignationâ âalmost in disgust, for he was obviously affected with wine.
âThen I must go down on my knees,â said he; and kneeling before me, with clasped hands, uplifted in mock humiliation, he continued imploringlyâ ââForgive me, Helenâ âdear Helen, forgive me, and Iâll never do it again!â and, burying his face in his handkerchief, he affected to sob aloud.
Leaving him thus employed, I took my candle, and, slipping quietly from the room, hastened upstairs as fast as I could. But he soon discovered that I had left him, and, rushing up after me, caught me in his arms, just as I had entered the chamber, and was about to shut the door in his face.
âNo, no, by heaven, you shanât escape me so!â he cried. Then, alarmed at my agitation, he begged me not to put myself in such a passion, telling me I was white in the face, and should kill myself if I did so.
âLet me go, then,â I murmured; and immediately he released meâ âand it was well he did, for I was really in a passion. I sank into the easy-chair and endeavoured to compose myself, for I wanted to speak to him calmly. He stood beside me, but did not venture to touch me or to speak for a few seconds; then, approaching a little nearer, he dropped on one kneeâ ânot in mock humility, but to bring himself nearer my level, and leaning his hand on the arm of the chair, he began in a low voice: âIt is all nonsense, Helenâ âa jest, a mere nothingâ ânot worth a thought. Will you never learn,â he continued more boldly, âthat you have nothing to fear from me? that I love you wholly and entirely?â âor if,â he added with a lurking smile, âI ever give a thought to another, you may well spare it, for those fancies are here and gone like a flash of lightning, while my love for you burns on steadily, and forever, like the sun. You little exorbitant tyrant, will not thatâ â?â
âBe quiet a moment, will you, Arthur?â said I, âand listen to meâ âand donât think Iâm in a jealous fury: I am perfectly calm. Feel my hand.â And I gravely extended it towards himâ âbut closed it upon his with an energy that seemed to disprove the assertion, and made him smile. âYou neednât smile, sir,â said I, still tightening my grasp, and looking steadfastly on him till he almost quailed before me. âYou may think it all very fine, Mr. Huntingdon, to amuse yourself with rousing my jealousy; but take care you donât rouse my hate instead. And when you have once extinguished my love, you will find it no easy matter to kindle it again.â
âWell, Helen, I wonât repeat the offence. But I meant nothing by it, I assure you. I had taken too much wine, and I was scarcely myself at the time.â
âYou often take too much; and that is another practice I detest.â He looked up astonished at my warmth. âYes,â I continued; âI never mentioned it before, because I was ashamed to do so; but now Iâll tell you that it distresses me, and may disgust me, if you go on and suffer the habit to grow upon you, as it will if you donât check it in time. But the whole system of your conduct to Lady Lowborough is not referable to wine; and this night you knew perfectly well what you were doing.â
âWell, Iâm sorry for it,â replied he, with more of sulkiness than contrition: âwhat more would you have?â
âYou are sorry that I saw you, no doubt,â I answered coldly.
âIf you had not seen me,â he muttered, fixing his eyes on the carpet, âit would have done no harm.â
My heart felt ready to burst; but I resolutely swallowed back my emotion, and answered calmly,
âYou think not?â
âNo,â replied he, boldly. âAfter all, what have I done? Itâs nothingâ âexcept as you choose to make it a subject of accusation and distress.â
âWhat would Lord Lowborough, your friend, think, if he knew all? or what would you yourself think, if he or any other had acted the same part to me, throughout, as you have to Annabella?â
âI would blow his brains out.â
âWell, then, Arthur, how can you call it nothingâ âan offence for which you would think yourself justified in blowing another manâs brains out? Is it nothing to trifle with your friendâs feelings and mineâ âto endeavour to steal a womanâs affections from her husbandâ âwhat he values more than his gold, and therefore what it is more dishonest to take? Are the marriage vows a jest; and is it nothing to make it your sport to break them, and to tempt another to do the same? Can I love a man that does such things, and coolly maintains it is nothing?â
âYou are breaking your marriage vows yourself,â said he, indignantly rising and pacing to and fro. âYou promised to honour and obey me, and now you attempt to hector over me, and threaten and accuse me, and call me worse than a highwayman. If it were not for your situation, Helen, I would not submit to it so tamely. I wonât be dictated to by a woman, though she be my wife.â
âWhat will you do then? Will you go on till I hate you, and then accuse me of breaking my vows?â
He was silent a moment, and then replied: âYou never will hate me.â Returning and resuming his former position at my feet, he repeated more vehementlyâ ââYou cannot hate me as long as I love you.â
âBut how can I believe that you love me, if you continue to
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