Pygmalion George Bernard Shaw (the mitten read aloud .txt) đ
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- Author: George Bernard Shaw
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epub:type="z3998:persona">Mrs. Pearce
Stop, Mr. Higgins. I wonât allow it. Itâs you that are wicked. Go home to your parents, girl; and tell them to take better care of you.
Liza
I ainât got no parents. They told me I was big enough to earn my own living and turned me out.
Mrs. Pearce
Whereâs your mother?
Liza
I ainât got no mother. Her that turned me out was my sixth stepmother. But I done without them. And Iâm a good girl, I am.
Higgins
Very well, then, what on earth is all this fuss about? The girl doesnât belong to anybodyâ âis no use to anybody but me. He goes to Mrs. Pearce and begins coaxing. You can adopt her, Mrs. Pearce: Iâm sure a daughter would be a great amusement to you. Now donât make any more fuss. Take her downstairs; andâ â
Mrs. Pearce
But whatâs to become of her? Is she to be paid anything? Do be sensible, sir.
Higgins
Oh, pay her whatever is necessary: put it down in the housekeeping book. Impatiently. What on earth will she want with money? Sheâll have her food and her clothes. Sheâll only drink if you give her money.
Liza
Turning on him. Oh you are a brute. Itâs a lie: nobody ever saw the sign of liquor on me. She goes back to her chair and plants herself there defiantly.
Pickering
In good-humored remonstrance. Does it occur to you, Higgins, that the girl has some feelings?
Higgins
Looking critically at her. Oh no, I donât think so. Not any feelings that we need bother about. Cheerily. Have you, Eliza?
Liza
I got my feelings same as anyone else.
Higgins
To Pickering, reflectively. You see the difficulty?
Pickering
Eh? What difficulty?
Higgins
To get her to talk grammar. The mere pronunciation is easy enough.
Liza
I donât want to talk grammar. I want to talk like a lady.
Mrs. Pearce
Will you please keep to the point, Mr. Higgins. I want to know on what terms the girl is to be here. Is she to have any wages? And what is to become of her when youâve finished your teaching? You must look ahead a little.
Higgins
Impatiently. Whatâs to become of her if I leave her in the gutter? Tell me that, Mrs. Pearce.
Mrs. Pearce
Thatâs her own business, not yours, Mr. Higgins.
Higgins
Well, when Iâve done with her, we can throw her back into the gutter; and then it will be her own business again; so thatâs all right.
Liza
Oh, youâve no feeling heart in you: you donât care for nothing but yourself. She rises and takes the floor resolutely. Here! Iâve had enough of this. Iâm going. Making for the door. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you ought.
Higgins
Snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief. Have some chocolates, Eliza.
Liza
Halting, tempted. How do I know what might be in them? Iâve heard of girls being drugged by the like of you.
Higgins whips out his penknife; cuts a chocolate in two; puts one half into his mouth and bolts it; and offers her the other half.
Higgins
Pledge of good faith, Eliza. I eat one half you eat the other.
Liza opens her mouth to retort: he pops the half chocolate into it. You shall have boxes of them, barrels of them, every day. You shall live on them. Eh?
Liza
Who has disposed of the chocolate after being nearly choked by it. I wouldnât have ate it, only Iâm too ladylike to take it out of my mouth.
Higgins
Listen, Eliza. I think you said you came in a taxi.
Liza
Well, what if I did? Iâve as good a right to take a taxi as anyone else.
Higgins
You have, Eliza; and in future you shall have as many taxis as you want. You shall go up and down and round the town in a taxi every day. Think of that, Eliza.
Mrs. Pearce
Mr. Higgins: youâre tempting the girl. Itâs not right. She should think of the future.
Higgins
At her age! Nonsense! Time enough to think of the future when you havenât any future to think of. No, Eliza: do as this lady does: think of other peopleâs futures; but never think of your own. Think of chocolates, and taxis, and gold, and diamonds.
Liza
No: I donât want no gold and no diamonds. Iâm a good girl, I am. She sits down again, with an attempt at dignity.
Higgins
You shall remain so, Eliza, under the care of Mrs. Pearce. And you shall marry an officer in the Guards, with a beautiful moustache: the son of a marquis, who will disinherit him for marrying you, but will relent when he sees your beauty and goodnessâ â
Pickering
Excuse me, Higgins; but I really must interfere. Mrs. Pearce is quite right. If this girl is to put herself in your hands for six months for an experiment in teaching, she must understand thoroughly what sheâs doing.
Higgins
How can she? Sheâs incapable of understanding anything. Besides, do any of us understand what we are doing? If we did, would we ever do it?
Pickering
Very clever, Higgins; but not sound sense. To Liza. Miss Doolittleâ â
Liza
Overwhelmed. Ahâ âahâ âowâ âoo!
Higgins
There! Thatâs all you get out of Eliza. Ahâ âahâ âowâ âoo! No use explaining. As a military man you ought to know that. Give her her orders: thatâs what she wants. Eliza: you are to live here for the next six months, learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a floristâs shop. If youâre good and do whatever youâre told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, and have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. If youâre naughty and idle you will sleep in the back kitchen among the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall go to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out youâre not a lady, you will be taken by the police to
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