Explosion of the Tongue by Rebekah Brewer (smart books to read txt) 📖

Some people fear the unknown
Others fear the people around them
What happens
when both combine?
A child
unsure, uncertain
living in predicaments
that they would rather die
than face
And what of the others around them?
Standing there, watching
seeing the scars be made
but never reaching out to help
Who has the guts to help anyone
besides themselves?
One day, we'll face that
One day
we'll kill that


Opening

Her words intoxicated
her only listener
Trying, he focused
on the message
Not her face
or her body, at that

She smiled her beguiling smile
knowing once more his thoughts
The soft brown orbs warmed him
conveying a new message
one of understanding
and one of love


She Who Is Me

I knew a girl
She watched the world with bright eyes
She enjoyed what she had
And dreamed of that special love
Reserved for that one who would further her bliss
But she had no chance

For she dreams of Death now
Wishing for that sudden escape
When her eyes found the sky again from below
She believed she could never reach it
So her eyes darkened and glazed
As she laughed each day to hide her pain

The mental wounds began to show
Reflected from a judge mental mirror to physical life
Just as her last hopeful dream faded with memory of happiness
She took notice of herself
Of what she had already become
What was it that she lost exactly?

Her days are marked by blood or sweat
Her memory of herself only as a little girl
Welcome to the real world with no guide
A world of false practices
A black cavity that people live in
Just as unpredictable as everything she knew

Everything falls into a simple code
What she shouldn't do
What must be done
Just another part of her puzzling life
The rest unable to be told
But by her scars

What has she seen?
Cruelty masked as friendship?
Friends connected to her fear and obsession, Death?
She fears the waking day
Torn from forgotten fantasies shrouded with sleep
Only wishfully thinking of leaving it all

There is no reasoning remaining
And her second desire is solitude
But she wants to smile and laugh just as she did years ago
Is it truly wrong to wish or to want?
Is it false to dream of alternate realities?
Does it take her to drown to escape this rotting reality?

The tears fall easily as she weakens
Who would understand her for who she is?
Who could save her from herself?
Or end this sliver of misery to start a new?
She found the courage to open up
But was returned with confusion as a guide

She had once loved to have peace
Did it mean to be observant?
Looking up rather than down?
Death still looks down on her
Seeking out her weaknesses
Making her fade in and out

Alone and fighting hard
for a reason to live


New Night

Another comes
Another goes
Past a gate
No one knows

Just like a setting Sun
Leaving the scenery behind
Replaced with the Moon
Recreating Sunlight with Moonlight

As Day turns to Night
And Night to Day
There must be another life
Just no one knows until they die

One For the Vet's

A prayer for life
A continuous fight
Sacrifices are made
forgotten by pain

One day it will be remembered
A God-sent gift to remember
to never be forgotten

Peace is what they wanted
Peace is what they deserve

Happy Veteran's Day

Peace to the weary
A thanks for the service
The war is over
Now it's our turn to end it

Lies and Small Pains

Get out of my head
Creating images I don't need
Don't want

You know there's someone else
For both you and me
Yet you say what you say
Trying to fuck with me
In more ways than one
Still, you have your girlfriend hanging on you
You know her feelings for you
And I bet you know
That I feel like I'm a traitor
I am lying, acting
To my own cousin, nonetheless

Why is my life filled
with so many lies?
You want more to break
Is that why you want me to lie?

I wish this never happened
I'd rather be oblivious
I have a painful clarity
of the life I want to throw away
Just so fuckin' tired of this shit


Has no one told you?
Your cries are all in vain
- "Cries in Vain" by Bullet For My Valentine

I'm not okay
I'm okay, I'm okay now
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I'm really this: I'm okay

Trust me, I'm not okay, I'm not okay
When I'm not okay, I'm not o-fuckin-kay
I'm not okay, I'm not okay
- "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance

Freedom of Pain

(12 Years of Age)

Here I am, awaiting death
Why am I still alive?
My family does not keep me here
But why am I here
When I've lost all reason?

Here I am, sitting here
Contemplating my short life
Does curiosity keep me going?
When I'm so sure others are better without me
My friends would benefit greatly

Though it was my best friend who introduced me to reality
I've come to believe we should have never met
Maybe it is worth living... of maybe hanging
Maybe neither 'cause I don't live nor change for anyone

For I am bruised and cracked emotionally and mentally
Who could possibly understand?
So many have wasted their time trying

I am aware things could be much worse
I don't wish to die just to be tormented
I really just want to disappear, forget, or start over entirely
Just like every other angst teen, right?
How great would it be to vanish into my own world
Or a void just for me but with the people I care about

My fears, my dreams
My hate, my anger
Freedom for this Hell
Free of the people who aren't worth it
And freeing those who are of me

For The Love Of God

Suck small wounds that are so tempting to make.
The living call for retrieve of such things
From those who do not wish to live as fakes.
Often, mothers cry as they do such things
But never do they listen to their cries.
They are too swallowed up in their pain
And often cannot hear past their own cries.
How can they be saved when it's all in vain?
For these souls, even God is forsaken
But still there is some small hope there inside,
Even if they're not the Only Begotten.
But hard to find, drown'd in torment inside.
So close to giving in but still unknown,
How painful in is, or how cold, like snow.

Hello

Who am I to explain?
This strain is new, a little much
Pressuring my mind
I don't understand
Your new fascination
Why are people fascinated?
I'm not scared, I'm just new
What do you expect from me?
As a woman or a girl?
As a friend? As a girlfriend?
Hell, if I know!
I can't read minds
I'm just a bit observant.


Nothing here
there won't be for a while
the tears are threat
to my remaining sanity

a longing for your presence

She Lives

She is the Devil
She knows how to disguise herself
as an angel amongst you
She watches for those ready to fall
and helps them break away
In mid fall, she catches them
embracing them in her darkness
Leading them astray

You fools don't know what you're messing with.

I didn't fall.
I dived to catch the falling.

Live and Love

You, you left me
You walked free
While I screamed
Forever lost in nightmares

You can't see
You can't see
What you've done to me
Always left alone
Feeling all alone

Can't you see
Can't you feel
All the pain
That I feel
Every time you talk to me
It's never enough
You just happen to mean so much

I can't seem to wake up
No, I can't stand to wake up
For all I have is fears
All I have left is tears

Because I can only be alone

Can't you see
Can't you feel
All the pain
That I feel
Every time I talk to you
It's never enough
No, it's never enough
You just happen to mean so much

Please look at me
Set me free
That's all I plead for
That's all I plead for
Really, that's all I need

Away from the pain
Away from this game
No longer an object
No longer a person
Lost in rejection

I love you
I hate you
But in all respect
You are my light, my hope
The one that creates shadows
As well as reveals the truth

Can't you see
Can't you feel
All the pain
That I feel
Every time I talk to you
It's never enough
You just happen to mean so much

Every time that I talk
Time that I talk
It's never enough
No, it's never enough
You really mean that much to me

This is what is takes
To live and love
Let it all in and out
And at least live without love


Maybe one day I can tell you what I feel without fear of causing you trouble.

I don't care if the feelings are returned.

I'll live and wish to still be friends.

Can we still be friends?

When I disappear, I hope you don't know or worry, though, why would you of all people worry?

There is a lot left unsaid where I don't know how to say it.

No