Never Ending Humorous Poems by Tasha (ebook offline reader .txt) 📖

A Never Ending Reckless Fight

The mouse hit the rat in the head.
This caused the rat to hit the cat in the head.
Which then caused the cat to hit the dog in the head.
But none of this wouldn't have happened
If only the mouse didn't hit the rat in the head
But what drove the mouse to hit the rat in the head?

Before the mouse hit the rat in the head
And the rat hit the cat
And the cat hit the dog
The cow hit the mouse in the head
But way before the cow hit the mouse
The horse hit the cow
And the dog hit the horse
All before the mouse hit the rat

So, the dog started it all
But the dog only hit the horse because the cat hit the dog
I guess all of this hitting started way back
Never ending war

In the corner a tiny flea laughed
He laughed because he bit the animals
So, they all began fighting each other thinking the other did it
All of this from one tiny bite
And one tiny naughty flea

A never ending reckless fight

How the Color Orange was Made

Once upon an hour there was a red moose
This particular moose ate a yellow fly
The fly you see dared the moose to eat him
"I dare you toe eat me!" he cried, surely to die

A minute after swallowing the fly
The moose began to go so high
High in red and high in yellow
Soon he was a peculiar color

This particular color was never invented
There was no word to describe it
The moose felt as if he was demented
He felt that he was going out of his wit

A huge crowd began to dawn upon the creature
There stood all kinds of yellows reds and blues
All kinds of amazing different hues
But no one was the color of the poor poor moose

"What color is that?" A silly old goose was the first to cry
"Why, I do believe it's a hue of red!" An old red cat said
"No, no, it's a hue of yeller!" shouted a wise goat
No one was certain of the color of the moose

Then came the fly, flying out the moose's nose
"He's orange!" yelled the fly and ending everyone's woes

Now it's been years, centuries, and decades since that hour
Since that hour a lot was discovered about color
This particular story is about how the color orange was made

Nursery Rhymes (With a Twist)

Jack and Jill Jane and Josh
Jane and Josh jogged up the mountain to fetch a pail of goat milk
Jane fell down and broke her leg
And Josh came tumbling after
Up got Jane and home she hopped
As fast as she could caper
She went to bed and bound her leg
With salt and water vapor

The Itsy Bitsy Spider The Big Hairy Spider
The big hairy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain but it didn't slip the spider out
Out came the sun and time for evaporation
Now the big hair spider was stuck forever and ever

Hey Diddle Diddle Hey, Sizzle Sizzle
Hey, sizzle, sizzle
The dog and the drizzle
The cow jumped over Pluto
The little cat laughed
To see such fun
And the remote ran away with the T.V.

Hickory Dickory Dock Hickory Mickory Mock
Hickory mickory mock
The rat ran up the wok
The wok struck heat
The rat ran down
Hickory mickory mock

The Living Doll

I was prancing along the side of the wall
When I saw a big fat doll
It hopped along a huge bouncy ball
It wore a cruel red shawl

It's eyes was piercing black
In one of the pupils there was a crack
On me she did attack
I tried my best to hit and smack

I grabbed her arm and snatched
She took it back and reattached
Somehow, some way, it got back patched
But the arm in comparison to the other was mismatched


So, here we was, all in a brawl
Just me, myself, I, and that doll
"Help! Help! Help!" I called
That's when I saw my friend Paul

Paul came over and ended the fight
I was just glad that he thought so bright
I pictured armor shining on my brave knight
Armor that that doll could not bite


The doll ran off to unknown places
She didn't even leave one little trace
Out in the world to meet unknown races
I never would forget the memory of her face

Point of View

This is a poem dedicated to writing
Well, dedicated to point of view
I hope this intro is quite inviting
I hope you find everything to be true

Now, let me tell you about point of view
There's the first person
This is when you use the words I, me, or our
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out a star
Let me dumb it down, I am the main character

Now, here's a different point of view
Second person
It's when you use the words you're, your, and you
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out anew
Let me dumb it down, you are the main character

Finally, the last point of view
Third person
It's when you use the words he, them, and they
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out a better way
Let me dumb it down, him or her are the main characters

You have come to the end of this poem
I hope you're all filled with emotion
Did you find my intro inviting?
Either way, trust me, I'm smiling.

What Makes a Poem Humorous

I am in the mood to write
So writing am I doing
I'm not in the mood to write
A book, chapter, or story, no
I am in the mood to write poems
Silly poems
I hope you find them quite humorous

Wait, wait, wait, I must stop and ask this question
What makes a poem humorous?
Well, as you might know
And know very well
Every person has different humor
Some are not very swell

Some people like dirty humor
Ever hear a dirty joke?
Some people enjoy dark humor
Vampires, werewolves, ghosts
Some like no humor at all
Strict, strict, strict!
Rules, rules, rules!
While some, furthermore, likes good old fashioned jokes

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, someone dirty might answer like this
My, well, I do not wish to say, for I am only a 14 year old girl
But the word starts with a p, *wink wink*

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
A dark person might answer like this
Your soul
Or maybe they'll just stare at the door

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, someone who has no humor although it might be a humorous answer
Will answer like this
Me! Now open the door!

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, a good old fashioned jokes person, or clown may answer this way
The chicken!

So, as you see above you
Everyone has different humor
But may I ask the question again
What makes a poem humorous?
Or better yet, anything

Please note
I am not trying to be judgmental
I am simply writing my thoughts
So, please don't hate me altogether
For, my brain told me what to write
I guess you should hate my brain, it doesn't exactly bring light

Now, I just thought of another question