Streams of thoughts... by L. R. Garrison (best e book reader .txt) 📖

/> I want kiss you

I want to tell you all that you are to me, and how much I miss you

But the closer I am, the further you are

Until there's nothing there, but air and space

And just like that

You're gone.


September 16, 2007
The Difference Between Women


Why is that I want things that I can't have

When it comes to finding my better half


I mean, is it their resistance?

Is it my persistence?

Or are they just indifferent?


Women say they want love

But why is that to some of them love equals thug?


Is it me, and maybe I'm too considerate

Because to me, they want somebody ignorant


Fuck you, call you a be bitch and shit

Smack yo ass up and turn around and kick yo shit

And grab yo ass by da colla

Drag yo ass around and let you scream and holla


Peep your friends out

Screen your calls

Lock you in a cell

Put you in a mental wall


Scope out all your callers

Take your phone away

Delete all your numbers


Apologize in a second

The next second, apology accepted


So what is love?

Putting someone above yourself

Whatever happened to trying to love yourself


And you wonder why you're used

That's why you get abused


See the cycle

Look at the direction

Stand in front of the mirror

Look at your reflection


September 06, 2007
Modern-Day Atlas


It's like the, the world's trying to consume me, before I reach victory the world wants to do me, do me in, do me in before I can collect, and all I see is misery, abuse and neglect. I try to come correct, but it still try to bounce me, but I keep standing with every breath and every ounce of me. It tried to beat my body down and took me as a whole, but never could it wash me out and take away my soul. Behold, this woman standing here is the truth, and I will take all I am and put it to good use.


July 12, 2007
The Power that Destroys Men


I feel like, I feel like, YELLING, SCREAMING at the top of my lungs…until all the air is out…until I pass out for lack of oxygen.


I feel like, like punching, hitting everything in my path…until my hands are bruised…until there is nothing but a trail of my blood tracking my whereabouts.


And I feel like expressing, like just letting out a myriad of obscenities…until I run out of words, until there's nothing left to say.


And I feel like crying, crying, tears falling from my eyes...until there's nothing left...until my eyes are streaked red from being so dried out.


And I sit, restrained, thinking with watery eyes, thinking of things I should have long washed my hands clean from, with an achy heart, thoughts swarming like locusts eating away at my emotions.


And I sit wanting to expel out of my very being every derogatory word known to man, gritting my teeth, holding it in.


Holding it in. So much Hate I hold. Trying not to be consumed by all these emotions, conflicting thoughts, hatred both in and out and backward thinking.


Hate…equally weighed by Love. Love…how many times I've cursed you and never once…really meant it.


April 10, 2007
My Gift


I give her back to the world

A world of life, a world full of breath

A world of hopes and dreams, death and regret

A world of breaths that breathes into life

A world of life, life that breathes into love

Love.


I give her back to the world

A world of anger, a world full of death

A world of disappointments and deceit, unity and peace

A world of death that breathes into anger

A world of death, death that breathes into hatred

Hate.


I give her back to the world

A world of laughter, a world full of joy

A world of smiles and candor, masks and dishonesty

A world of joy that breathes into laughter

A world of laughter, laughter that breathes into happiness

Happiness.


I give her back to this world hoping that she will be surrounded by smiles, united with joy and laughter, truth and peace, hoping that she will be in a world full of life, full of dreams.


I give her back to this world hoping that in this lifetime, now and forever, that she will find a world of love, true love.


I give her back to this world hoping that she is filled with happiness

A world full of happiness

With love,

A love that breathes into happiness

Into life, into…


Peace.


February 16, 2007
Voyeurism


The sky has turned dreary since it last met with the sun. And now rain falls heavily upon the gravel of the parking lot without it seems an end. At this hour, the only light that illuminates us is the moon and the lighting from the Giant Eagle Supermarket.

The store was well lit from outside of the sunless evening. A whiff of coffee crept into my nostrils as I strolled pass rows and rows of food. From behind the counter stood a brown-skinned girl of medium height. Her hair was short, brown and highlighted with blondish brown streaks. She wore a white colored shirt underneath a burgundy smock that bore her nametag. She smiled and laughed familiar, as if she knew me, as if she were happy. Each isle I pass, she follows, moving behind the counter as if she were waiting impatiently in line for a roller coaster ride. I move with purpose as I walk in a fashionable grace. She notices, she smiles.


November 30, 2006
When Love is Lost


How does it feel to know when you have lost somebody?


When the calls were everyday and now they are seldom to none

Or is it when you only receive a call on certain holidays

When they seem like they are always busy and their schedule is always booked

Or is it when you ask them, they never know, but they can try to schedule you in somewhere


Tell me, how does it feel to know that you lost someone?

When their life seems to be filled with happiness

Or is it when they seem happier without you

When they are spending their time with other people

Or is it when they are doing things that you never thought they would


How is it that you feel that you have lost?

When you are the one left out

When you were the one who actually loved

Or is it when they begin dating other people

Or when it is the people from their past


How does it feel?

To know that you have lost someone

Forever,

And to know that,

They are not coming back.


November 10, 2006
Seventh Heaven


A daydream

Images emerge

Your smile appears

And I become focus


In dreams I have wings

I carry you

We soar

Blissfully


In thoughts

Shapes form

You appear unto me

Comforting


In my mind's eye

Perhaps it is not corporeal

Yet I know what exists

On those cold nights


In time visions

Will become reality

And when you smile

I will become focused.


October 24, 2006
In The Rose Garden


Although the weather is bleak, I permit myself to walk through this garden of roses. Surrounded by so much beauty that I do not know which one to choose. Then I see the one. I gaze at it from afar, its magnificence overwhelming that I wish that I could touch its petals, or at least be able to breathe in its gentle fragrance. It stands out among the rest and yet it is alone. A beauty that goes unforeseen and yet continues to bloom no matter what weather conditions arrive. It is a beauty that can only be felt through the heart and I have seen it in my mind's eye. From fear of disturbing the other roses, I gaze at it from afar and as I continue to walk through the garden, I will never forget that single rose.


September 29, 2006
For Love


Damn…

I shake my head

How can I pretend that I do not love her

I close my eyes


Does hating help

She does not call me

Respond to me

Tell me things

Untruths

I close my eyes


How can I hate her

I would like to

I feel betrayed by her

She has given too many false promises


I shake my head

How can I believe her

I have nothing

She was my all


How can I stop loving her

I cannot pretend

I love her

I close my eyes


I think about all our times together

Tears come to my eyes

She will never know

She will never understand

She is blinded

She doesn't see me


How can I pretend

I reach out for someone

Someone to hold

Just for one moment, one moment

She is no longer mine

I cannot pretend


Damn…

I shake my head

I stand up

One day…

One day I will find love

One day

I close my eyes.


September 18, 2006
We are not one


We is not me anymore

We