Growing Fast. Dying Slow. Living Life. Being Me. by Brooke O. (books to read this summer TXT) 📖

Already

You made me cry
Broke my heart
Before you even had it
You weren’t supposed to know
And when you found out
You laughed

Then you told me you don’t care

I would have been fine
If I never knew you knew

But you had to point it out
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Loneliness

I'm alone
Very alone

When I walk the halls
I do it alone

When I read my books
I do it alone

I have my friends
My awesome friends

But they can’t always be around
So I do it alone

I’m alright with being alone

That’s why I listen to my music
That’s why I read my books
That’s why I do this

Sit alone
And write

But sometimes loneliness hurts

Sometimes loneliness cries

Sometimes…
Loneliness leaves
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Always

Always

Always loving

Always laughing

Always thinking

Always hating

Always leaving

Always screaming

Always yelling

Always crying

Always on the inside

Always silent
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Light and Dark

Darkness is warm
And safe

Darkness is cold
And scary

Light is the same

It can be warm
And safe

It can be cold
And scary

In the darkness
You can’t see what hides

In the light you can

Darkness
You can feel safer
If you don’t know it’s there
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t
And you can always imagine

Light
You can feel safer
If you know it’s there
And can TRY to stop it

Maybe you don’t want to see

What hides
And what shows
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Everything

I’m alone
Always alone

I don’t get a passing glance in the halls
I don’t get a hello

I have my friends
I have my best friends
My awesome friends

Who can’t always be there

They have their own problems in life
That they have to deal with

But when I sit alone
I always wonder
Things I wish I don’t

I remember heartbreak
And I remember stupidity
And I remember all those things
I wish I didn’t

So when I sit alone

You’re always here somewhere
In the back of my mind

Of the heartbreak you caused
That made me cry

No one knows I cry
I hide my tears

I don’t want sorrow
I don’t want pity

I just want you
To care

I know I shouldn’t
Because I know you don’t
But I can’t help it

I always smiled when I thought of you
Smiled so big I couldn’t breathe

Then they told you
How much I care
And you told me you don’t

Why would you do that?
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Slowly, but Surely

I’m getting over you
Slowly
But surely

You looked at me
For the first time
In WEEKS
Yesterday

And I felt hopeful
For some stupid reason

Now I’m mad at myself

I let myself feel something for you again
Even after how bad you hurt me

After how you made me cry

But now
I don’t care
Because I’m getting over you

Slowly
But surely
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All Gone

Oh, how she cried
When they all died

When they left her alone
When they left her all alone

She’d sit
And wait

For the family
She knew would never come

Never ride down the road again
Never kiss her forehead

Her brother
Never picking on her

Her mother
Never smiling
Or picking a sweet red rose

Her father
Never spreading his cheer
With his booming laughter

Her sister
Never helping her
When she would sit and cry

Her lover
Never giving her sweet stolen kisses
Never smiling at her
Never complimenting her
Even when she looked her worst

She loves them
They loved her

And now they’re gone

Leaving her alone
Leaving her all alone

Oh, how she cries
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So Different

He always smiles
He always jokes

He always looks away
He never looks my way

Not so very different

Wrong

He is so sweet
Always so sweet

He broke my heart
He shattered it

But neither ever know
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Scars

Who could hurt you so bad
To make you do what you did?

You still bear the scars
Of your pain

I haven’t known you long
But I think of you as my sister
And I care for you like one

And I’ll always wonder
Who could be so cruel
As to make you feel so low

Those freaking meanies...
Want me to beat 'em up?
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