His Sanity by Mirah Selim (great book club books .txt) 📖

Catelin Pov

Sometimes life gives you surprises that don't make you happy but instead startle you to the extent that a terrifying scream couldn't help but rip out of your heart.

That's what I felt. When I heard my uncle's words. How. When. Why. Questions swirled in my mind like a heavy destructive wave of an ocean ready to destroy a sandcastle I made with my everything.

How did he come up with this thought? Why did he think that I and Lucifer? And when did he even got the strength to accept a girl like me as his daughter in law. A girl who had been nothing but an obligation on them.

Uncle raised me. He did everything for me to have a proper golden life. But my conscience never let me turn into a spoilt brat. His efforts to make me his princess were fruitful but to be his little princess I don't need to waste his money like a river.

I just wanted to engrave a deep affection of my name in his heart. He's not only my saviour who saved me from the most destructive future I would have gotten if it wasn't for him but he also turn that nightmare into a fairy tale dream by giving me more than I ever wished for.

I love him. Martin King. My uncle. My godfather. My saviour. My hero. I never said no to his requests. I tried my everything to show my gratitude to him.

But this. How. How should I say yes when my whole body went in a life sickening. Soul sucking terror.

Lucifer. Lucifer King has always been my best friend. I always did everything to pull him back to a reality from whom his mind was running away for years now.

I tried many times to talk to him. To open up with him. But all I ever got in return was his glare and avoidance.

I knew for sure there was something. There is something he's not willing to open up. But can I marrying him make anything better?

After my uncle's words, I needed time for myself. I went to my room and stared in the distance trying to understand what exactly I should do. Lucifer needs help. But can I help him?

His abnormality has nothing to do with my hesitation in this marriage.

It's about my heart.

The heart I already had lost to that innocent man.

I know I love him. I do but I can't do this.

I can't take advantage of this situation. I can't use my uncle's vulnerability just to have the one I love.

I started losing my heart to Lucifer when I was just a kid and he was a normal kid. He always had a cold yet lovely personality.

He used to behave coldly outside with a stoic face but never hesitate to help me when I needed him the most. I started loving him when I shouldn't have.

I couldn't control what I felt. I always thought it might be a childish crush but when I started taking care of him I lost it. For the past 9 years, I have been taking care of him.

I was just a minor when I first helped him stop crying. And after that day I started growing those unwanted feelings for a man who was 5 years older me.

Today there was a reason why I didn't attend the dinner.

I couldn't see him with another girl. Even though it didn't matter. It still hurt.

Lucifer had grown attached to me. His innocence. His hazel pure eyes. His honey-sweet voice. His scent. Everything I love. I love more than anything.

Closing my eyes I let few tears fell on my cheeks when I realised if I accepted this marriage how will I be able to control myself. I can't do this to that innocent man. Who sees me as his supporter and here I felt something I shouldn't have felt.

Hearing the crack of the door opening I instantly wiped the tears away before placing my usual smile but soon it faded away when I saw Lucifer with tear-stained cheeks.

My heart instantly fell in my stomach. Without thinking twice I ran towards his tall frame before placing my palms on his cheeks wiping the tears away.

"My prince what happened. Why are you crying." I asked in concern. Without exchanging words he leaned his body down against mine wrapping his large arms around my small frame.

Nuzzling his head in my crook I heard him sniffling making me rub his back while keeping my head on my shoulder. How much I love being in his arms but I know my feelings aren't exactly for what he's hugging me.

Sometimes I feel so guilty for thinking and feeling the things for him that I shouldn't have.

"Catey why you left me alone. I had a bad dream. Don't leave me again." He said tightening his arms hurting my heart. God, I almost forgot whenever something happens he always gets a nightmare.

"No problem come let's sleep here. Hmm." He nodded still keeping his head in my crook. I tried moving back but instead, he tightens his grip and walked back towards the bed dragging me along with him.

We both fell on the bed earning a huff from me. I was laying on him while his hands were still around me.

"Lucifer. Leave me. How will you sleep like this? I am heavy." He whined pressing me against him even more.

"Your nothing against me Catey. And I don't trust you what if you again left me. Nope, I am not leaving you." After trying one more time to detach my body from his I finally gave up with a huff earning few giggles from him.

His chest vibrated against my mine as my head was on his shoulder and my legs were tangled up with his. I slowly wrapped my arm around his torso.

"Lucifer.  Can I ask you something?" He hummed making me bit my lip.

"What you think about having a wife. A girl who will be with you 24 hours. The girl who will be with you till your last breath." I sensed him turning his head towards me making me look up only to find him looking down at me with his innocent gaze.

"You." I froze. My heart jumped rapidly hearing his whisper.

"I just want you to be with me 24 hours. I just want to stay with you till my last breath. And for it, if you need to be my wife then I will happily marry you." He said giggling.