Lovely Desire by Breanna Davis (self help books to read TXT) 📖

He seemed as if he changed. He told me that it wasn’t over and he kept his word. I couldn’t help but envy his determination. I loved Kyle. That was why it hurt so bad to know that I didn’t love him as much he loved me. When I told him I loved him, I was imagining me saying that to Trent.
A tear dripped down my face and landed soundlessly on Kyle’s cheek. His eyes crinkled as he opened them. He wiped the tear off his face.
“Are you crying?” he asked.
I nodded. “Happy tears.” I told him. He smiled and closed his eyes, satisfied.
But, I wasn’t happy for the reason he was thinking. I was happy because I finally admitting the truth to myself. I fell in love with Trent Lawrence, who was my teacher and out of my league, only in a couple of weeks.
When Kyle’s breathing slowed, I gently placed his head on the pillow that was carelessly thrown on the floor, and stood up careful not to wake him or Leo. But mostly Leo. I was certain he was going to bite my head off the next time I woke him up. I laughed softly before tip toeing up the stairs.
I went searching for Jamie, and found her sitting in my room, staring out the window. She was clutching her Hello Kitty pillow to her chest. She seemed frail as she continued to stare out the window, her mind totally wrapped around whatever caught her eye. When I stepped into the room I heard her sniffling, as she wiped a tear from her cheek.
What was wrong?
“Jamie?”
She jumped and her head snapped over to me. “Are you ok?” I asked softly. I sat on the bed next to her and studied her face.
She seemed broken – completely and utterly broken. Her eyes held pain, pain I didn’t even know was capable of carrying. Her arms wrapped tightly around the pillow, holding it to her chest, now allowing the tears to flow freely.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Faith,” she choked on a sob and wiped her face. I grabbed her hand and held it, willing her to go on. “I never really can. You have something about you that is so inviting.” I smiled at her compliment, but I really didn’t want to talk about me. I was sick of thinking about myself for a life time and ready to hear about my friend’s problems. I squeezed her tiny hand.
“Faith, you don’t know the whole story about me.” She turned her head so that she was looking directly into my eyes.
“I didn’t have quite the upbringing as a normal person.” A tear slipped down her cheek and I wiped it away. I looked at her, dumbfounded. What did she mean by that?
“I never knew my father, and my mother always blamed me for that. She said I was a magnet for heartbreak.” She shook her head, trying to shake the memory away. I gripped her hand tighter.
“Oh my gosh, Jamie! Why haven’t you told me sooner?” I asked her.
She shrugged.
“I never told anyone. Then, when Leo came . . . it was like love at first sight and he wanted absolutely everything for me! I never knew such a love!” Her eyes sparkled at the sound of Leo’s name.
“He quickly understood the pain that I had held in all my life and he never judge me nor my past.” She hugged the pillow tighter to her chest with a smile.
“I don’t understand, Jamie. What brought all this on? Not that I’m not glad that you’re explaining everything to me, but what would make you suddenly want to explain all this to me?” I asked.
She sighed and the earlier sorrow filled her eyes. She removed her pillow and picked up what rested in her lap. I gasped and looked at her with wide eyes.
“Jamie!” I choked on my words and looked back at the white stick. “A-are you pregnant?” I asked. thought of Leo being a father was funny – hysterical actually considering his quirky ways. But, it would also be a sight to see. I would love to see Leo holding a bottle to his own very offspring.
Jamie shook her head and passed it to me. “Look closer,” she mumbled.
I grabbed the pregnancy test and brought it closer to my face only to sigh in relief. It had a pink negative sign, stating that Jamie wasn’t pregnant. I looked back at her and smiled.
“Then, why are you so sad?” I shook her shoulders. “You’re not pregnant!”
Jamie’s shoulder’s sagged as I let her go. Another tear slipped down her cheek. She groaned and stood up throwing the Hello Kitty pillow on the bed.
“That is what the problem, Faith!” she yelled. “I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to show my mother that loving a child isn’t a bad thing, and most of all – I wanted a way to thank Leo for showing me so much love and what is a better way of showing it than our own personal bundle of love?”
I sighed and stood up, only to wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly. “Are you even ready for a child?” I whispered.
She nodded. “I’m so ready for a child. I’ve been dreaming about having my own child forever!” she squealed.
I pulled back and looked into her emerald eyes. They still sparkled with tears that I wiped away. “You clearly want to have this child and if you say you’re ready – then I believe you. But, at least wait until you graduated.”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. “I can do that, but no matter what – I’m having that baby.”
I laughed. “So determined, I love it!”
We laughed together and I was glad that Jamie cheered up. This was the last thing that I thought that would ever go through her head. I didn’t even know that Jamie and Leo were sexually active. The only thing I knew was that they had those weird compliments. There was a lot that I had missed when I was focused on myself and my love life problems. My little friend from Jamaica lost his virginity and being a boy, he probably wanted to brag all about it, but I wasn’t there. Maybe, it was before I fell for Trent, but even so, he probably thought I was too responsible to even give a care. I realized I was one of the worse friends because I was worrying about myself and nobody else. My face scrunched up and I quickly fixed it before Jamie noticed. The truth really hurts.
I shook my head and focused on Jamie.
“Does Leo know about the whole baby thing?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No, but I really want the pregnancy to be a surprise.” She blushed for some stupid reason before she smiled at me.
“Besides, I know Leo will be a great father!” I laughed.
“Right, sure Leo, who stuck his tongue in a toilet last night, would be a great father.”
Jamie laughed and shook her head. “Whatever,”

When Kyle, Jamie, and Leo left, I went to Josephine’s by myself to think. I was getting ready to order when Brittney and Kaitlyn walked in. I tensed up and tried to hide my face behind the menu, so they wouldn’t see me. I was certain they were still up to something and honestly, I wanted to be out of drama’s way for a long while.
I peeked over the menu and watched as they laughed with each other about some evil plan they were making up. I narrowed my eyes at the horrid girls. I never really cared about their existence till now. They were just like the other cheerleaders; just wanted to get popular. But now, it was something more and I was their target. A lump formed in my throat at the thought. I never had been targeted by anyone. Matter of fact, I barely been hated. And now, these girls mysteriously hate me and want to kick me off the team. Something was fishy, and I was going to figure it out.
Kaitlyn and Brittney sat in the booth in front of me, and I prayed that they didn’t notice me. They weren’t really they smartest pair. I smirked at my own joke.
They ordered and stared giggling again for stupid reasons. I guess that were being stereotypical cheerleaders. I scooted closer towards their booth, hoping to get to overhear their conversation.
“He’s coming back tomorrow,” Kaitlyn said with a hint of humor in her voice.
“How do you know?”
“I saw him at the mall and I saw him talking with the substitute about coming back to school tomorrow.”
I heard their hands slap together and I guess they gave each other a high five. Were they talking about Trent? And if so, why did they care whether or not he was at school or not?
“Nice! All we have to do is seduce him and I promise you, it will crush her! She’ll be devastated and not come to practice and games and soon enough she’ll be kicked off the team!” Brittney boasted. They had to be talking about me. But how did they know I fell in love with Trent? Did they see us kissing? Panic rose in me.
“Awesome! It’s perfect. If he’s attracted to her he has to be ten times more attracted to us! I mean, she isn’t all that pretty.”
Brittney laughed.
“Exactly. She thinks that we’re clueless about how she stares at him all the time. But now we got her. The only reason that I’m not spreading rumors about them doing the nasty is because Mr. Lawrence is pretty hot and I would hate to see a pretty face go to waste.”
Kaitlyn laughed.
“This is going to be great!”She cheered.
I quickly ran out of Josephine’s, not looking back. Thought were rushing through my head, but I focused on one. Trent was coming back tomorrow. Detention

TRENT looked gorgeous as he stood, writing on the board. I felt my heart speed up as it recognized the beautiful Trent, again. I bit my lower lip and turned towards Kyle. He was smiling from ear to ear as he passed me my books. He planted a kiss on my forehead.
“I’ll walk you to Trigonometry later, alright?” I nodded.
“I love you,”
“I love you, too.” I replied. He flashed another smile before turning around and disappearing down the hall way. I felt the heat of eyes on me before I even turned around.
Trent looked at me with a sad expression. He narrowed his eyes before turning around and writing on the board again. I sighed and quickly rushed into the room before anybody else did. I closed the door behind me, locking it so that no one could come in. I know I was already risking my self control by closing the door, but I had questions that needed answers.
Trent turned around and dropped