Standing Close To The Edge(Finished) by Danielle Palmer (best summer reads txt) 📖

he was getting.
Grabbing a bowl from the kitchen I walked into the living room and got the bag of M&M's. I poured them in and then set them on the floor with the food. Everyone was already laying down in their spots so me and Zayn would have to sleep by the couch. I put two pillows where our heads would lay and sat down. “What movie are we watching?” I asked no one in particular. “Grown ups.” Harry was the one to answer me. Zayn came down a minute later so everyone got their food. Half way through the movie my eyes started getting heavy so I curled up against Zayn with my head on his chest. He chuckled and put his arm around my waist. “Go to sleep.” He didn't have to tell me twice. I slowly let my eyes close and I was instantly out.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked as I threw my wet hair in a bun. Everyone got up pretty late this morning. By the time we were all out of the showers it was the afternoon. We had watched a movie when we woke up but everyone was restless. “How about me and you hang out tonight?” Zayn said walking into the living room. He was the last one to take a shower so his hair was flat and damp. So damn sexy I had to look away so I didn't drool. “Sounds good. When do you wanna go babe?” He thought about it for a second. “How about when ever you're ready?” I nodded my head and walked out the room. Wait an outfit. I quickly backed up and walked into the living room. “How should I dress?” I hope nothing to fancy because I have no dresses. “Casual.” Perfect. I could work with that. I kissed him quickly before getting up and running up the stairs.
Something casual. Something casual. I tapped my chin a few times before the perfect outfit popped into my head. Purple skinny jeans, black and white striped long sleeve shirt and black converse. Oh wow, I guess I'm pulling a Louis tonight. I quickly grabbed a white tank before running into the bathroom and changing. I pulled my hair down, blow dried it and then curled it lightly making little waves. Just as I was about to start my makeup there was a knock on the bathroom door. I opened it to find Danielle and Alexis with their arms crossed over their chest. “When were you going to tell us so we could help you?” Danielle asked raising her eyebrows.
“It's not a date. We're just hanging out together. You act like we're not already dating.” Alexis sighed and uncrossed her arms. “At least let us do your makeup. We'll just do eyeliner and mascara.” She pouted her lip and started the puppy eyes. I laughed at her attempt. Might as well let them though. They both do good makeup. “Fine. Water proof please.” She squealed and ran out, grabbed her makeup case and ran back in. “Sit.” She pushed me down on the toilet seat, smiling brightly. Danielle did my mascara while Alexis did my eyeliner.
“Thank you guys!” They nodded their heads and then pulled me downstairs. Everyone but Zayn was downstairs in the living room. I guess no one else is going out tonight. “Nice outfit.” Louis said. I could tell he was being sarcastic. “Not just you that can pull of stripes Lou.” I smiled at him while everyone else laughed. We glared at each other for a few seconds before laughing. “Zayn's getting ready in my room if you're wondering where he is.” Harry said after a few minutes. I nodded my head and thanked him. After 5 more minutes I gave up and went to check on Zayn. I knocked on Harry's door but when no one answered I walked. Zayn was sitting on the bed looking at his phone. “You ok?” He looked up at me with a pained expression. “Anything you need to tell me?” His voice was hard and a little scary. “What are you talking about?” In one quick movement he was holding his phone in my face. On the screen their was a picture of me holding 3 pregnancy tests. Shit.
“Zayn-” I tried to tell him that they weren't for me but he instantly cut me off. “Is it Harry's?” His eyes were hard and his mouth in a tight line. My eyes widened as I gaped at him. “First off I'm not fucking pregnant. And second why the hell would it be Harry's?”
“I don't fucking know! You guys were always together at the other hotel! He was always in your room. One night for what? An hour?!”
“We were talking! Friends talk!” I yelled back. He rubbed the back of his neck and clenched his jaw. “How am I supposed to believe you?! You're not even a virgin!” Of course I knew he would use that against me. He had asked me if I was a virgin the other day on the bus while we were playing truth or dare. If it was my choice, trust me, I would be a virgin. “Maybe because I'm your fucking girlfriend. And what does that have to do with anything?! It's my past! You have a past to!”
“Yeah I have a past to but I didn't sleep around! I'm waiting for someone I love!” My eyes stung as they filled with tears. He basically called me a slut when I've never had sex in my life when I actually wanted to. “You don't know anything about my past.” I whispered as the tears over filled and streamed down my face. “Then tell me! You obviously talk to Harry!” He yelled.
“I can't.” I whispered back. He sigh heavily and clenched his jaw tighter. “Then maybe you should be with Harry! You can obviously talk to him!” I heard foot steps entering the room but I ignored them. My heart was pounding hard in my chest as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
“You don't think I want to tell you?! I can't tell you because I'm scared Zayn! Is that what you wanted to hear?! I'm scared you will think I'm a freak and leave me! I'm scared of how you will react! I've lost someone I've loved before and I can't live through that again! I don't want to lose you!” By now I was sobbing. I felt someone try to comfort me but I just shrugged them off. I needed to get this out. “I'm scared because every time I so much as think about my past I have panic attacks! You don't know what I have been through so don't sit there and basically call me a slut! I might not be a virgin but trust me if I actually had a choice I would be.” With that, I turned around and pushed through everyone and out the bedroom door.
I ran down the hall, down the stairs and out the door. Without stopping I ran into the elevator and pushed the lobby button. When I got to the bottom I went out the back way so I didn't have to see the fans. By now everyone knew I was Zayn's girlfriend and if they saw me running out the hotel crying I know a rumor would be started. One that could ruin Zayn's career and I didn't want that. I didn't know where I was going so I just kept running. Running from my mind like always. If only I had a blade right now. I wouldn't need to be running right now.

*Harry P.O.V.*

“OK what the hell was that about?” I asked turning back to Zayn. He sighed and picked his phone up of the bed. He handed it to me and sat back down on the bed. I touch the screen waking it up and my eyes widened. “What is it?” Liam asked. I handed it him the phone and his face paled. He pasted it to Louis, who pasted it to Niall, who pasted it to Danielle and Alexis. “She bought them for me.” Danielle whispered looking around at everyone. I looked at Liam and he looked like he was about to pass out. “I'm not pregnant. I was just sick.” He instantly started breathing again.
“Danielle. You've been with her the most. She didn't by anymore razors right?” I heard Zayn gasp behind me but I didn't turn away from Danielle. “No she didn't.” I nodded my head and thought for a minute. We needed to find her. Just cause she didn't have any does mean she can't buy some. “You guys start looking for her. Everyone have your phones on loud. If you find her call me.” They all nodded their heads and took off out the door. “What did she mean if she had a choice?” Zayn whispered. I sighed and sat next to him on the bed. Adrian was probably going to hate me but I knew she rather me tell him than her. “Well lad. I guess I'll tell you. But you have to promise me you are not going to treat her different.” He nodded his head and looked at me straight in the eyes. “I promise.” That's all I needed so I started from the beginning.

*Adrian P.O.V.*

Finally spotting what I was looking for I ran faster. As I got to the door of the store I stopped and caught my breath before walking in. I walked down aisle after aisle before I found the one I was looking for. $7.00. I pulled out all the change I had and started counting. $4.32 ugh maybe this was a sign. I shoved the change back in my purse not bothering to put it in my wallet. With shaky hands I put the box back on the shelf and slowly moved backwards. When I was far enough I turned around and walked away. My mind was screaming at me to go back and get them but I made my feet keep moving. It's been 3 weeks and I actually made someone proud. How would Liam feel if he knew I re-lapsed? How would any of them feel? I know I would be pissed at myself.
My legs shake as I walk through the people filled streets. I didn't even know where I am. To be honest I don't really care. My mind was like a never ending race. Every part of my life was flashing in front of my eyes. Everything up to Zayn's face when I was yelling at him. I wasn't mad at him. How was he supposed to know I was raped. Just the fact that he thought I had sex with Harry pissed me off. Yeah he was in my room but he was comforting me. Don't get me wrong Harry is a sweet kid but I think of him more as a brother. Zayn could have asked me instead of accusing me. He didn't have to sit there and basically call me a slut when he didn't know anything. This is why I should have told him everything. None of this mess would have happened.
My train of thought was interrupted by a faint ringing noise. Instantly knowing it was my phone I ignored it and kept walking. I just needed time to be alone. I haven't been alone in awhile and I just need to think. Everyone was probably looking and that made me feel bad. Making them worry was the last thing I wanted to do. In the distance I could see a park so I picked up my past and continued towards it. When I finally got there I found a bench with a table and sat down. I put my