Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (ebook reader below 3000 .txt) 📖

The entire day passed by in a train of thought, the entire student body of Carmel acted like the freaking paparazzo's and stalked after me most of my classes, I caught some sneaky one's standing outside the lavatory.

No Shit.

I was sure there were hidden cameras and mikes somewhere beneath those pile of books they carried around. Rumor in Carmel was worse than yellow fever, I hadn't acknowledged any species that apparently walked, talked or gossiped but by the end of the last hour, I was a victim of a major controversy and supposedly the 'Girl' who made it to the Top page of the Carmel newspaper. Wow, it took me a month and an affair with the professor to get my popularity up and moving. I had no doubt I'd killed some of Chez's popularity. While in the midst of everything, Nina seemed oblivious to all the controversy and stayed within the four walls of the dorms in hopes of missing a test which unfortunately for her, was postponed to the day after.
 

****

Nina caught up with me the next day; inside the university lawn and outside the university building. The usual basketball team, (why do they even attend regular classes is beyond my understanding) were passing us as in 'me' the 'you're an Outcast' glare which I ignored with the same intensity. If I could freakin' face The Dean and still manage to survive, these douches were close to nothing in comparison.

It was almost awkward, when Nina decided to poke me in the back while I was too preoccupied. She pushed the bag pack over her shoulder, though I hadn't seen it slip and smiled at me, almost forcefully.

"Is it true, what I heard?" was the first thing that spewed from her mouth, not even a simple 'Hi'. And I thought I deserved better.

"Depends on what you've heard?"

Apparently, there were a lot of different stories plaguing Carmel University, the general theme being 'The forbidden love affair between Mr. Masters and Alana.'

"You know what I'm talking about, Alana. I just want to know what's wrong." she pulled out a snickers bar, took a large bite.

"Well, didn't Chez fill you in?"

She pressed her lips in frustration, "No, he didn't, and I never asked him. Can we not talk about Chez? He is the last person I want to talk about."

Something was so wrong; she never gave me a chance to speak. "Why didn't you tell me, Alana?"

"Tell you what?" a quick scan of the people under ear-shot, I lowered my voice, "the fact that I slept in Rowan's bed, or that I was letting him use me in exchange for a grade A?"

Nina closed her eyes, "I don't believe any of that. I know you're not capable of getting used."

My eyes wide, the size of an anime characters eyes "What do you mean?"

Was she questioning my sex appeal?

She pulled out her palms, "Not what you're thinking, I mean you wouldn't let anyone use you because you're smart and intelligent and definitely recognizes the perv eye and Mr. Masters never struck me as that. Uh-uh. Not once."

She was trying so hard to make the atmosphere lighter and I was relieved to know that she believed me but I still didn't want to speak of the truth. Well, it was time I rip off the old band-aid.

"I love him." there was no pressing the backspace after this.

Nina stared back at me, "I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"It is tattooed across your forehead."

I shoved her playfully with my book. "Since when?"

"Since you decided to show me the 'I'm dating a guy from another university' card"

She seemed offended, there was no doubting it.

"I'm sorry. I lied to you, I lied to Chez.." no matter how much I wanted to hold back my tears, they just started to stream down my face without me realizing, "I'm really so sorry Nina, but I couldn't tell you the truth. This wasn't just about me; I never wanted you to think I'm some whore pulling cheap tricks on the professor...I... "

She put a finger on my lips, "Enough. It's not your fault."

"What do you mean?" she handed me a pack of Kleenex.

"I'd do the same if I were you, besides, the professor's hot. What's not to like." That brought a smile on my face.

I tried to stir the conversation to a Rowan-free zone, "so...what's going on between you and Chez?"

She frowned, bit her lip and waved her hand the way you do while shooing a few flies, "I'd rather not talk about him."

"Has he been nominated as the king of douches yet?"

Nina pulled out another bar of snickers, those snicker bars were her way of overcoming a Chez related depression, "yeah, even worse."

I patted her back, "I'll try to minimize the douchness. I got your back."

Nina waved at me as she made her way towards the block 'C'. I was headed straight towards my class, normally I'd get a glimpse of Rowan in the hallways and we would exchange greetings but today there was no Rowan. I pulled out my cellphone and dialled his number, it rang. Rang some more and went straight to voice mail. Darn it. I typed a message..

R u not cumin 2 uni 2day?waiting to see you. Luv u.

A single tear dropped on the screen of the phone, I wiped it clean with the side of my denim. I called again, and it transferred to voice mail all over again. I jabbed the phone back in my pockets with a loud 'screw you!" that earned me a few death glares with a 'shush'.

Was pressing the answer button such a hard task? I told myself over and over that he must be busy with school papers or stuck in another committee related meetings but as much as my heart wanted to go with the lilies and daises, my mind wanted to go with the devil who repeatedly told me he wasn't coming back.

Maybe he thought I wasn't good enough for him?