Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (ebook reader below 3000 .txt) 📖

The liftman eyed me warily, like I was a possible danger to his wallet along with his virtue, seriously?

I stepped out of the lift without a word, heading towards the Demon professors apartment. I took a deep breath and rang the door bell though I had a negative feeling about all this and knew it wouldn’t end up in a pink fluffy fur ball; nevertheless I rang the bell once more with a little too much force then necessary.  But of course, jabbing the bell too hard wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

A second later, I heard the lock turn—the door opened a crack and out peeked the ‘not-very-healthy-but-still-very-sexy-Rowan Masters’, he wore a plain t-shirt over blue flannels. Our eyes met for a brief second before he smiled warmly and let the door open all the way.

I walked into his mess of an apartment, and settled on the single couch while he took over the chair next to mine. And we just stared at each other in awkward silence. The taekwondo kick I’d practiced earlier would have to wait.

“Hi.” That’s what you say, when you have nothing else to say.

“Hi, yourself.” I snapped back. “What was the point of being the king of sacrifices?”

“What are you talking about, baby?”

“I called you everyday-- almost ten times a day, left you messages, and stalked your office...” I was suddenly overwhelmed by turmoil of emotions; it all came back to me. The twisting and turning every night, the feeling of being rejected, “you promised to make everything right, is that what you call making everything right?”

The look on his face seemed distant, not the humors, very amusing Rowan I knew. “Alana, I screw up things I go near. I ruined everything—just the way I ruined our relationship.”

Ruined our relationship?

He ran his fingers through his hair, “I put you through everything. I’m the reason you were crying outside the dean’s office.” his breath became ragged, “because I’m so fucking selfish, Alana, I couldn’t do shit when those people humiliated us. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t even defend my girl?”

His girl?

It turned my insides into fluff balls. All those other words connected to that word didn’t matter anymore, it’s like I never even heard any of it.

Rowan kept swirling the phone, not averting his eyes from the brown plush carpet. I was all kinds of rainbow colors on the inside, but I had to make sure he understood how mad I’d been and how difficult and confusing it was for me last week, “that doesn’t explain why you resigned and why you didn’t answer my calls.”

“The committee members of Carmel wanted you expelled, so I offered to resign in exchange for keeping you in the university. It was either I resign or let you go. I chose to do the former.”

The madness at the peak was coming tumbling down; he resigned for me, to keep me?

“So you took all the blame?”

He nodded without a trace of regret.

“You have a niece to support; I’m not worth losing a job.”

I was totally baffled by his next show of affection, he closed the distance between us as he settled next to me, took my hand in his, “you’re worth losing a million jobs baby, I’ll do this over and over again if I have to.”

“Rowan...”

God I loved this guy so much, he lost a job because of me. ME. The girl who never succeeded in even winning her parents affection. For them, it was always the job over me.

For Rowan, it was me over the job.

I laced my hands around his neck, pulling him to me.  “I love you so much. I thought you left me when you didn’t show up.”

Rowan pulled away to look at me, “I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me after what happened.”

“You can’t keep assuming things like that, Rowan; I needed you so much at that time. It was all worthless without you. I know this is sounding like a cheesy line from a lame movie, but that’s exactly how I felt. You mean a lot to me.”

“I know, I’m sorry and I’ll never ever do it again.” when I didn’t respond, he continued, “I promise.”

I made a quick scan of the surroundings, “where’s Minnie?”

“She’s in the bedroom.” He studied me carefully, and added. “Sleeping.”

“Okay.” I scooted closer to his side, my heart wanted to leap out of my chest.

He laughed, really laughed—the room filled with his soft ringing laughter, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Maybe.” I was surely gonna sound like a desperate bitch, but I didn’t care. I was his girlfriend and I has every right to do whatever I want with him-- said the lusty Alana possessing me, “Can I..Can I touch you?”

His eyes went almond size, he hadn’t expected it. “You want to touch me?”

“If it’s okay.”

“Of course, baby. I’m all yours to touch. Go ahead, but make sure you don’t press the wrong buttons.” He winked, that had me turn to a shade of crimson.

When I brought my hands towards him, he nodded letting me know I had earned his permission for body-exploration. I tugged his t-shirt upward, and slid my hands underneath. I grazed his fine muscled abdomen which felt perfectly toned and rippled. I traced every muscle, every detail that was him, pushing the shirt a little farther upward. He must have realized his t-shirt was a distraction to my exploration, because next thing I knew he removed the t-shirt completely, out through the sleeves first and lastly through the head. The way all men do, and tossed in on the floor, “better?”

I went up on my knees and kissed his broad chest. He could easily crack a few nuts in the hollow of his neck. No kidding.

I traced a line along his gruff jaw line, before I could be damn sure this wasn’t one of my daydreams or a creation of my imagination. He pulled my face to his, sealing my lips completely, he kissed me deeper and longer, while I let my fingers get tangled with the soft curls of his hair. He pinned me down on the couch below me, pulled away for a second and murmured huskily, “when do I get my chance?” at first I wasn’t sure in which alien language he had spoken in, then it hit me.