My Secret by Breanna Davis (elon musk reading list txt) 📖

laid my head gently on his chest and listened to his breathing and his heartbeat.
He ran his fingers through me hair.
Then, his heartbeat started to slow. Alarmed, I sat up and looked at him. His face went pale and he looked at me through tears.
“It’s time,” he gasped.
His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was still. He didn’t move a inch.
I stared at his body and I didn’t move. He was dead. Gone. For real this time. I wasn’t ever going to wake up to his smile. I wasn’t going to be able to make love to him. I would never hear that soft booming laughter bouncing off my pink walls.
I felt a tear slid down my face, but I stayed still. I didn't bother to wipe it away. I shook with tears silently and thought about how everything seemed perfect before yesterday. Jake was healthy and I was wrapped up in his arms. Then, yesterday came and he's all of a sudden sick and coughing up blood and fighting for his life. And now, today, this second, his dead. His soul has shattered and wandered off into another world.
I touched Jake's body and it felt warm. I was confused. When you died, I thought your body temperature dropped until you was cold. But, Jake's body felt warm. Why was it warm?
“Amelia, you must go.” I jumped at the sound of his voice.
I looked at him and looked back at Jake’s corpse.
“He’s gone,” I tried the words on my tongue, but they tasted bitter. Not right.
He nodded, but looked like he wanted to say more.
He took my hand and escorted me out the room. A part of me wanted to the run back and wrapped my arms around his dead body and keep him forever until he disintegrate but another part is telling me to move on.
In the car, Mrs. Clark held me tighter and this time I shook with tears

My head felt like someone took a hammer and started hitting me in the head. It hurt almost as bad as my broken heart. Even though, Jake's body was warm, he was dead. He must take a while for the body temperature to cool down.
I laid back in my bet and played with the necklace that hung from my neck. My eyes filled with tears as my mind kept replaying the day Jake got it for me.
It was my fourteenth birthday. I was never a party girl so, I just decided to hand out with Jake for my birthday. We were hanging out in my room and we were bored and since my birthday was in midsummer , we were hot. I was in a bikini top and some shorts and Jake was wearing shorts and was shirtless. He didn't have his eight pack then, just a simple four pack.
I was laying upside down on my bed with Jake sitting on my floor looking at me.
I smiled.
"How can you just stare at me for so long, you stalker." I teased.
He chuckled.
"I'm use to it."
I sat up straight.
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"Lay back down. You are always trying to find ways to bite off my head."
"Whatever," I said and laid back down, upside down.
He started playing with my hair and sighed, happily. It felt so good and right.
"I got you something, Me-me."
"I told you I didn't want any presents, asshole." I snapped, playfully.
When we were best friends we always use to talk about each other, a lot. I called him asshole a lot and he called me bitch. Of course people said it was weird to say that to your best friend, but we didn't care.
"Don't worry, bitch. It's nothing just a necklace."
I giggled and sat up straight.
I studied him. he looked uncomfortable.
"A necklace? You went shopping?" I teased.
He nodded.
"I only shop when it is important."
I burst out laughing, holding my stomach."
"Wow, Jake Clark was shopping! I would have never-"
I was cut off as he pressed his lips to mine. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, instinctively. He moaned as I thrust me private area against his. I knotted my hands in his dark hair and I moaned myself. Soon, we both stopped kissing and we were breathing hard. He placed me back on the ground and I straightened out my clothes.
A silent moment passed between us.
He cleared his throat.
"I got you a letter 'A' necklace." he said awkwardly.
He pulled out a necklace that had a letter 'A' hanging from it. The letter was jeweled with white diamonds all over. The gold shined in the light. It was extremely beautiful.
"Jake," I whispered.
He wrapped the necklace around my neck without saying anything. Surprisingly, the necklace was warm as he clung to the valley of my breast.
I turned and face him.
"Jake, I-I had no clue you felt this way about me."
He looked down. "I know you don't feel the same, Amelia. But, I cannot act like I do not love you more than a friend."
When he looked back up at me tears filled his eyes.
"You idiot," I whispered and hugged him, then kissed him.
"What took you so long?"
He smiled and engulfed me with kisses.
Now, it feels like a distant memory. I rolled on my side and held the letter 'A'.
"I vow, I will never take off this necklace. Even if I moved on." I said drowsily.
I closed my eyes and sleep overcame me. Then, I was in a meadow.



Trying to Move On

I rolled on my side and groaned as sunlight hit my eyes. My eyes fluttered open and I groaned as I remembered yesterday.
No Jake.
He's dead.
And he left me here to suffer.
I sat up straight and rubbed my forehead. My headache seemed to worsen over the night. I got out of bed and walked to my bathroom.
I picked up all my makeup and threw them away. What was the point of looking pretty if you had no one to please? What was the point of looking pretty if you didn't need to? Jake was gone, he'll never see me again, so why would I even try to be pretty? If I'm not pretty I can't move on. I smiled and continued to throw away all my makeup.
I could hear Jake's criticism in my head:
"Amelia, you know makeup means the world to you! And I'm not going with you to shop for more!" I could hear him grunting stubbornly and then asking me if I want to have sex.
I laughed out loud and then sighed. When I was done disposing of all my makeup I went for the jewelry.
"Me-me, have you gone insane? You're jewelry too!?"
"You made me insane," I muttered and started to fix my hair.
I fixed my hair in a messy ponytail, not even bothering to comb it out.
I looked back at the mirror. What looked back at me was nappy headed girl that looked pale, and the only thing that made her a little pretty was the gold necklace wrapped around her chest.
I smiled, pleased at the results. I went into my room and put on the saddest clothes I could find in my closet, which was pretty hard since I loved bright happy colors.
I settled with a dark blue sweat suit. I looked at myself in my mirror and smiled. Everything on me looked hideous except the necklace that dangled from my neck.
I brushed my teeth before I headed downstairs, leaving my cell phone, and grabbing my backpack.
I was about to sneak out the door when my mom called me.
I gritted my teeth and walk backwards into the kitchen.
"Yes?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Amelia, I know how you are feeling I just want to say that -"
I cut her off as I raised up my hand.
"I don't want to hear it!" I snapped and stormed out the house. I jumped in my car, mad at the world.
I didn't want to talk about Jake with anyone! I shook my head angrily as tears filled my eyes. Why could she avoid me like everyone else was doing? It would help a hell of a lot better!
I turn the keys to my car and the car roared to life.

I pulled into a parking space and got out of the car. I slammed the door as hard as I could. My keys dropped out my hands and I bent down to pick them up. I grabbed them, and tried to stand up but, I couldn't. Reality hit me hard then.
I shook with tears, and I clutched my chest at the pain. "Jake!" I yelped and kept shaking with tears. I can never see him again. I fell on my side and cried harder. I could feels eyes on me, but I didn't care. Jake was dead! "No, no!" I said out loud. I felt lonely without his smile and laughter and his soft touch. "He's gone!" I wailed.
I felt hands trying to pick me up and I squirmed away. I wanted to suffer. I wanted to mourn over my big lost. Why couldn't people leave me alone and let me grieve?
"Meli, stop crying, please." I heard my brother's voice say.
I shook my head, but let him pick me up.
He clutched me to his chest and carried me to his car. I felt the soft seats beneath me and I snuggled into them.
"Give me your keys, I have to drive it back to the house."
I handed him the keys and closed my eyes.
I was in a meadow. The grass was green as Jake's eyes, and there were palm trees scattered all around, making it look more like a beach. A stream of water flowed by. The aura was beautiful.
I walked over to the water and looked at myself in the water. What looked back at me was the real Amelia. Not, boring dull, pale Amelia who lost the love of her life. I gasped and touched my face. The beautiful Amelia did the same. I smiled.
Then, I heard Jake's voice, "Move on Me-me, you are beautiful!"
I gasped and turned around, but I found nobody there.
"Jake? Jake!" I said, looking around.
"Are you there? Please tell me if you are there! I miss you so much, I-I need you! I'm a wreck without you!"
I dropped to my knees and looked ahead of me. There, he was. The love of my life. His eyes was shining a bright green and he looked even more gorgeous then I remembered. His dark hair was in a elegant disarray on his head, making him look ten times more handsome.
"I can't live