Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (ebook reader below 3000 .txt) 📖

    A mini sized box of condoms.

    I stared at the box for what felt like an eternity wondering if I had imagined a box of tissues for condoms. I dropped it inside her bag quickly before I changed my mind and decided that putting the box to use was a great idea. As much as my body and heart needed her, I also didn't want to complicate things.

     When Alana returned from the restroom I acted like I didn't discover the packet hidden in her bag. I knew that once I told her about it, Alana would push and push me so hard (no pun intended), that I would finally give in to the temptation.

    I couldn't  take everything from her and then shatter her heart.

****

            I parked the Cadillac outside Alana's hostel in a secluded spot. The silence in the car getting awkward by the minute.  There was no one in the near vicinity and the street lights were dim. I'd always wanted things to be this normal with us, and it had been anything but. I wanted to tell her what was on my mind, but it broke my heart to even go through with it. How would Alana react? I knew for a fact that it was going to get ugly, and fast.

   "Did you enjoy yourself?" I asked her.

   "Of course." Alana smiled at me.

   I took her hand in mine. "Thanks for coming here, baby."

   Alana's eyes smoldered to a darker shade and before I knew it, Alana slipped into the driving side of the car and into my lap. She traced my cheek with her fingers, and whispered.  "Did you miss me, Handsome?"

    When a beautiful woman forces herself in your lap and tries to seduce you and if that woman also happens to be your girlfriend than you outta throw the boy scout manners out the window.

   "You have no idea." I whispered back. Her face was only inches away and she smelled of the familiar addictive cherry blossom fragrance that she usually wore.

   She drew my lower lip in her mouth and sucked it and then she pulled away staring straight into my eyes. "Sofia. Is she beautiful?"

   I chuckled, as I slid my hand along her waist, pulling her even closer. "Sofia is forty-six and mother of two. Her daughter is in college. What else do you wanna know?"

    Alana ran her fingers through my hair as I claimed her lips. She tasted better than what I remembered, I took time exploring her lips, catching her upper lip and sucking it, than repeating the same with her lower lip. I heard her moan as she deepened the kiss. My tongue never left a corner unexplored. Her lips did their own ravishing, there was a certain hunger, a certain need in her kiss that I couldn't place.

Alana's fingers reached for the hem of my shirt as she unbuttoned and ran her hands all over my chest and abs. I let her do as she pleased, because my hands began working up her dress.

    I broke the kiss and nuzzled her neck, licking and nibbling her collar bone. I pulled the zipper of the dress and yanked it off. Her bra went next. I stared at her semi-nude body for a nano second before I palmed her breast and caressed my thumb over her right one.

"Rowan!" she moaned.

  I replaced my fingers with my mouth and suckled. This better be our most memorable time together, I thought as my fingers dipped lower. She didn't protest when I peeled away her panties and reached between her thighs. The second I touched her, she exploded. I teased her slowly as I circled my fingers. Alana had gotten worked up by then because I felt her nails dig into my back.

  I lifted her chin and urged her to look at me. "Say please."

"Please Rowan." She reached for the fly of my jeans, but I caught her hand before it could do any more damage. Every fiber in my body wanted to be out of the fabric and bury deep inside her, but I couldn't do that, not when I planned on breaking her heart later that night.

  I decided to put my magic fingers to use and that's when she came undone within a few seconds. I realized Alana hadn't been on planet earth a few minutes back, when her panting subsided, her cheeks turned crimson. "I love you."

  "I love you too." I said kissing her once more. "Did you enjoy it?"

    "Enjoy? I don't have words to explain. We haven't even gone all the way and I feel this way, I can't imagine what sex would be like." She said excitedly and I remembered the condoms in her bag.

  "Why can't we go all the way?" Alana asked.

   I hated to burst her bubble. "After graduation, baby. I promise."

"I don't think there's any girl in this world who has ever begged her boyfriend for sex. I'm old enough, Rowan. What's the big deal?" 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. You just need to wait a year."

"You always treat me like a child! How the hell does Lauren gets to have sex with you, gets knocked up with your baby, but I can't?"

I gaped at her, then I surprised myself by laughing. "You want a baby with me? You do realize that I'd never been with a woman your age, right? I've never dated an eighteen year old, much less fallen in love with one. Those women in my past never mattered to me and they weren't eighteen. I thought I loved Lauren, but I didn't because what I feel for you, I've never felt for her, or anyone. Do you understand how much I love you?"

Alana sighed. "Fine. But, after graduation, we are having sex."

"We are making love." I corrected her as I cupped her face. "And trust me, it will far better than fucking in the backseat."

She touched my crotch. "Don't you want me to make you happy?"

I caught her hand. "I practice self-control, darling. And I'm good at it."

"Come upstairs to my room?" she asked.

"Sure. Let's go."

***