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the chair out and locked the transmission, feeling silly. Who was going to hot-wire a wheelchair? He was such a dork. Lacey handed him his canes and he stood gingerly. Heā€™d been making his way to the bathroom and back on canes all week, but he hadnā€™t tried stairs yet. He hoped Lester wasnā€™t too many floors up.
Lester turned out to be on the third floor, and by the time they reached it, Death Waits was dripping sweat and his eyeliner had run into his eyes. Lacey dabbed at him with her gauzy scarf and fussed over him. Death caught Lester looking at the two of them with a little smirk, so he pushed Lacey away and steadied his breathing with an effort.
ā€œOK,ā€ he said. ā€œAll done.ā€
ā€œGreat,ā€ Lester said. ā€œThis is what Iā€™m working on. You talked to Perry about it before, right? The Disney-in-a-Box printers. Well, Iā€™ve cracked it. We can load our own firmware onto itā€”just stick it on a network with a PC, and the PC will find it and update it. Then it becomes an open boxā€”itā€™ll accept anyoneā€™s goop. You can send it your own plans.ā€
Death hadnā€™t seen a DiaB in person yet. Beholding it and knowing that he was the reason that Lester and Perry were experimenting with it in the first place made him feel a sense of excitement he hadnā€™t felt since the goth rehab of Fantasyland began.
ā€œSo how does this tie in to the ride?ā€ Death asked. ā€œI was thinking of building rides in miniature, but at that scale, will it really impress people? No, I donā€™t think so.
ā€œSo instead I was thinking that we could just push out details from the ride, little tabletop-sized miniatures showing a piece every day. Maybe whatever was newest. And you could have multiple feeds, you know, like an experimental trunk for objects that people in one region likedā€”ā€
Lester was shaking his head and holding up his hands. ā€œWoah, wait a second. No, no, noā€”ā€ Death was used to having his friends hang on his every word when he was talking about ideas for the ride and the story, so this brought him up short. He reminded himself who he was talking to.
ā€œSorry,ā€ he said. ā€œGot ahead of myself.ā€
ā€œLook,ā€ Lester said, prodding at the printer. ā€œThis thing is its own thing. Weā€™re about more than the ride here. I know you really like it, and thatā€™s very cool, but thereā€™s no way that everything I do from now on is going to be about that fucking thing. It was a lark, itā€™s cool, itā€™s got its own momentum. But these boxes are going to be their own thing. I want to show people how to take control of the stuff in their living rooms, not advertise my little commercial project to them.ā€
Death couldnā€™t make sense out of this. It sounded like Lester didnā€™t like the ride. How was that possible? ā€œI donā€™t get it,ā€ he said at last. Lester was making him look like an idiot in front of Lacey, too. He didnā€™t like how this was going at all.
Lester picked up a screwdriver. ā€œYou see this? Itā€™s a tool. You can pick it up and you can unscrew stuff or screw stuff in. You can use the handle for a hammer. You can use the blade to open paint cans. You can throw it away, loan it out, or paint it purple and frame it.ā€ He thumped the printer. ā€œThis thing is a tool, too, but itā€™s not your tool. It belongs to someone elseā€”Disney. It isnā€™t interested in listening to you or obeying you. It doesnā€™t want to give you more control over your life.
ā€œThis thing reminds me of life before fatkins. It was my very own personal body, but it wasnā€™t under my control. Whatā€™s the word the academics use? ā€˜Agency.ā€™ I didnā€™t have any agency. It didnā€™t matter what I did, I was just this fat thing that my brain had to lug around behind it, listening to its never-ending complaints and aches and pains.
ā€œIf you donā€™t control your life, youā€™re miserable. Think of the people who donā€™t get to run their own lives: prisoners, reform-school kids, mental patients. Thereā€™s something inherently awful about living like that. Autonomy makes us happy.ā€
He thumped the top of the printer again. ā€œSo hereā€™s this stupid thing, which Disney gives you for free. It looks like a tool, like a thing that you use to better your life, but in reality, itā€™s a tool that Disney uses to control your life. You canā€™t program it. You canā€™t change the channel. It doesnā€™t even have an off switch. Thatā€™s what gets me exercised. I want to redesign this thing so it gets converted from something that controls to something that gives you control.ā€
Lesterā€™s eyes shone. Death hurt from head to toe, from the climb and the aftermath of the beating, and the life heā€™d lived. Lester was telling him that the ride wasnā€™t important to him anymore, that heā€™d be doing this other thing with the printer next, and then something else, and then something else. He felt a great, unexpected upwelling of bitterness at the thought.
ā€œSo what about the ride?ā€
ā€œThe ride? I told you. Iā€™m done with it. Itā€™s time to do the next thing. You said you wanted to help out, right?ā€
ā€œWith the ride,ā€ Death said patiently, with the manner of someone talking to a child.
Lester turned his back on Death.
ā€œIā€™m done with the ride,ā€ Lester said. ā€œI donā€™t want to waste your time.ā€ It was clear he meant, Youā€™re wasting my time. He bent over the printer.
Lacey looked daggers at his shoulders, then turned to help Death down the stairs. His canes clattered on the narrow staircase, and it was all he could do to keep from crying.

Suzanne rode the bullet-train from Miami airport in air-conditioned amusement, watching the Mickey-shaped hang-straps rock back and forth. Sheā€™d bought herself a Mickey waffle and a bucket-sized Diet Coke in the dining car and fended off the offers of plush animatronic toys that were clearly descended from Boogie-Woogie Elmo.
Now she watched the kids tear ass up and down the train, or sit mesmerized by the videos and interactives set up at the ends of the cars. The train was really slick, and judging from the brochure she found in the seat-pocket, there was another one from the Orlando airport. These things were like chutes leading from the luggage carousel straight into the parks. Disney had figured out how to make sure that every penny spent by its tourists went straight into its coffers.
The voice-over announcements as they pulled into the station were in English, Chinese, Spanish, Farsi and Russianā€”in that orderā€”and displayed on the portersā€™ red coats with brass buttons were name-badges with the flags of many nations, denoting the languages they spoke. They wore mouse-ears, and Suzanneā€”a veteran of innumerable hotelsā€”could not dissuade one from taking her suitcase.
He brought her to a coach-station and saw her aboard a bus marked for the Polynesian, decorated with tiki-lamps, bamboo, and palm-fronds (she touched one and discovered that it was vinyl). He refused her tip as they saw her aboard, and then stood and waved her off with his white gloves and giant white smile. She had to chuckle as she pulled away, amazed at how effective these little touches were. She felt her muscles loosening, little involuntary chuckles rising in her throat. The coach was full of parents and children from all over the world, grinning and laughing and hugging and talking excitedly about the day ahead of them.
The coach let them off to a group of Hawaiā€™ian-shirt-clad staff who shouted ā€œAloha!ā€ at them as they debarked, and picked up their luggage with swift, cheerful, relentless efficiency. Her check-in was so painless she wasnā€™t sure it was over until a nice young lady who looked Chechen picked up her bag for her and urged her out to the grounds, which were green and lush, like nothing sheā€™d seen since landing in Florida. She was surrounded by the hotel structures, long-houses decorated with Polynesian masks and stalked by leggy ibises and chirping tropical birds. Before her was a white-sand beach fronting onto an artificial lake ringed with other luxury hotels: a gigantic 1970s Soviet A-frame building and a gingerbread-choked Victorian hotel. The lake was ringed with a monorail track and plied by handsome paddle-wheeler ferry-boats.
She stared gape-jawed at this until the bellhop gently tugged at her elbow, giving her a dazzling smile.
Her room was the kind of thing youā€™d see Lucy and Ricky checking into on honeymoon in an old I Love Lucy episodeā€”wicker ceiling fans, bamboo furniture, a huge hot-tub shaped like a seashell. Outside, a little terrace looking over the lake, with a pair of cockatoos looking quizzically at her. The bellhop waved at them and they cawed at her and flew off. Suzanne must have made a disappointed noise, because the bellhop patted her on the arm and said, ā€œDonā€™t worry, we feed them here, they come back all the time. Greedy birdies!ā€
She tipped the bellhop five bucks once sheā€™d been given the grand tour of the roomā€”a tame Internet connection that was ā€œkid-friendlyā€ and a likewise censored video-on-demand service, delivery pizza or sushi, information on park hours, including the dazzling array of extras she could purchase. It turned out that resort guests were eligible to purchase priority passes for boarding rides ahead of the plebes, and for entering parks early and staying late. This made Suzanne feel right at homeā€”it was very Russian in its approach: the more you spent, the better your time was.
She bought it all: all the fast-passes and priority cards, all of it loaded into a grinning Mickey on a lanyard, a wireless pendant that would take care of her everywhere she went in the park, letting her spend money like water.
Thus girded, she consulted with her bellhop some more and laid out an itinerary. Once sheā€™d showered she found she didnā€™t want to wear any of her European tailored shorts and blouses. She wanted to disappear into the Great American Mass. The hotel gift shop provided her with a barkcloth Hawaiā€™ian shirt decorated with tessellated Disney trademarks and a big pair of loose shorts, and once she donned them, she saw that she could be anyone now, any tourist in the park. A pair of cheap sunglasses completed the look and she paid for it all by waving her Mickey necklace at the register, spending money like water.
She passed the rest of the day at the Magic Kingdom, taking a ferry from the hotelā€™s pier to the Victorian wrought-iron docks on the other side of the little artificial lake. As she cleared the turnstiles into Main Street, USA, her heart quickened. Kids rushed past her, chased by their parentsā€™ laughing calls to slow down. Balloon sellers and old-fashioned popcorn machines jostled for space in the crowd, and a brass band was marching down the street in straw boaters and red striped jackets, playing a Sousa march.
She ambled up the road, peering in the adorable little shop windows, like the shops in a fancy casino, all themed artificial facades that were, in back, all one shop, linked through the length of the street.
She reached the castle before she realized it, and saw that it was shorter than it had appeared. Turning around and looking back down Main Street, she saw that the trees lining the sides of the street had been trimmed so they got progressively smaller from the gates to the castle, creating a kind of false perspective line. She
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