How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #4) by DeYtH Banger (top business books of all time TXT) 📖

you to build your confidence in approaching people, without having to take the risk of rejection -- after all, you have to leave, you couldn't stay even if they wanted you to! (Some people also ask for phone numbers at this point.)

 

10) Stopping While It's Still Fun

 

Remember, flirting should be fun, and you should leave the flirting interaction feeling victorious. Most people leave their flirting interactions feeling like failures because they don't stop until it stops being fun. If you stop flirting on a high point, while it's still fun, your new friend will feel good when thinking of you, and want to see you again.

 

 

 

Something Single Women Hate — Don't Do It

 

by David DeAngelo

 

 

 

 

"You can't bore a woman into feeling attracted to you..."

I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it's not as obvious as it might seem to some guys.

In fact, when I think back on my own experiences with women, I am DEFINITELY guilty of trying to bore women into feeling attracted to me...

So what do I mean by this silly sounding statement?

Well, let's start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time.

"I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she didn't call me back, and I can't reach her..." "I don't want to use any 'techniques' with women because I feel like that would be 'manipulating' her..." "I want a girl who will like me for who I am..." "I give her everything she wants, take her out, buy her things, and I don't understand why she doesn't feel the same way towards me that I feel towards her..." "She tells me that she only likes me as a friend, then she goes out with these guys who treat her like crap instead of going out with a guy like me that would treat her wonderfully and give her everything she wants..."

And the list goes on and on...

Now, I realize that these statements are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them is:

 

You're not behaving in a way that is pushing her attraction buttons. In most of these cases, you're guilty of trying to bore her into feeling attracted to you.

 

I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn't any "spark"... but he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was BAD about the date, that this girl should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see the light.)

Here are a few common problems that lead to "BORING DATE-ITIS":

 

Playing it "safe", following her lead, not saying anything you think will upset her, and making sure that you're "proper". Talking about BORING things like jobs, family, weather, etc. because it's "what people talk about to get to know each other." Being boring.

 

Playing It Safe

 

I can remember when I thought that the proper way to act on a date was to talk about socially acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet, and generally try to make sure that she got whatever she wanted.

Oh, was this a huge mistake.

Generally speaking, women are BORED TO DEATH BY THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR.

When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out to dinner, it's time to have FUN, not to be her personal ass kisser!

Playing it safe and kissing up to her is a sure way to get either an expensive relationship or a woman who won't call you back.

 

Talking About Boring Things

 

Don't talk about your job and your family!

 

BORING!

 

Guys who are trying to convince women that they're "nice" talk about their families. (If you really want to be a loser, carry pictures around with you and show them off.)

Talking about families is "courtship" behavior, and it will put her into the old "this guy is boring" frame of mind. Unless you're related to John F. Kennedy or someone even more interesting, keep the family history to yourself!

 

Being Boring

 

So what does a "boring" guy act like?

Well, for starters he acts like he's NOT COMFORTABLE in the situation...

Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her opinions all the time. Asking her what she'd like to do. Holding your body in an unsure, insecure way.

 

That's a good start.

Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you've got the makings for her running as fast as she can and changing her phone number to save herself from another one of your boring calls!

So what's the answer? What's the secret to making her feel attracted to you, and not BORED OUT OF HER SKULL?

I thought you'd never ask.

Here are a few ideas for starters:

 

 

1) Take her somewhere that has a lot going on...

 

 

somewhere that has interesting conversation built in. I like funky areas that have lots of eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can't walk through one of these areas without having an interesting conversation.

There are all kinds of interesting things from tattoo artists to funky hat shops to ultra-trendy clothing stores. Most cities have an area like this, and I'd suggest you go check it out.

 

2) Talk about something that isn't BORING.

 

 

One of my favorite things to do is get her to talk about her life, then find things to make fun of. This is a great opportunity for cocky and funny...

YOU: "So, tell me something interesting."

HER: "Like what?"

YOU: "What, you can't think of even ONE interesting think about yourself or your life? I think I need to go before this gets any worse..."

You get the idea...

 

3) If there is a silence, NEVER let it be uncomfortable.

 

 

I think that it's great to stop talking when you're first getting to know a woman. But don't do it in a way that sends chills up her spine.

If the conversation goes cold for a few moments, just pay attention to something else for a minute. Think about something funny to say and laugh to yourself. She'll say "What? What are you laughing about?"... which is a great lead in for about 1,000 different cocky/funny answers.

If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act like you're with a friend, act totally casual, and pick it back up later. Just don't ACT nervous and uncomfortable!

 

4) Don't be predictable.

 

There is an area of the human brain called "Broca's Region" that is constantly anticipating what is about to happen, then discounting the predictable. In other words, the more predicable you are, the faster you will be considered BORING.

Learn to say random things. Disagree with her... (without sounding like a whiny little girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears looks like a dog...

 

If you're boring, read a couple of books on how to tell stories… or get a book on comedy to learn how to be funny and tell jokes.

JUST DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO AVOID BEING PREDICTABLE! And do whatever you have to do to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION.

OK, I think you're getting the idea.

Women don't want BORING. A woman would rather be with an interesting, fun guy than with a RICH, HANDSOME, PREDICTABLE, BORING one (and the women who want the rich boring guy are often boring themselves...).

Once a woman starts to feel that magical emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION, the entire situation changes, and you start having the kinds of success with women that most men only dream about.

 

And most women go through life WISHING, HOPING, AND DREAMING that they will someday find a man that can make them feel this amazing feeling...

 

So what's the best way to learn how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you?

In fact, what's the ONE system in the world that is designed SPECIFICALLY to teach you how to make women feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you?

 

 

 

Confidence 101: How I Built My Confidence (And How You Can Too!)

 

 

 

Confession: I used to have virtually no confidence.

 

I’ll never forget back when my knees would jiggle-like-jello when I’d “try” to talk to a cute woman. It was like torture! Every second felt like an hour long!

 

My palms would sweat…
I couldn’t even speak clearly…
My heart would beat way too damned fast…

 

And girls would “excuse themselves” from my presence 99% of the time…

 

I HATED IT.

 

Here’s a picture of me back then…

 

 

Since I was so fed up, I decided to do something about lacking confidence.

 

So, I went on a mission: to build up my confidence.

 

I did everything. Read every book. Dove in head first to my academic psychology courses. And most of all? Being a college student at the time? I used the fact that I was on a university campus in sunny southern California each day to talk to the women that were there too!!

 

Oh yes… During about a 9 month period, I easily chatted up SEVERAL THOUSAND college women on my campus.

 

It got to the point that I accidentally hit on the same girl multiple times.

 

(This admittedly happened at least 3 times — once inside the student library, once in the on-campus Jamba Juice, and once outside our college basketball stadium — LOL).

 

As you can probably see, the way I “came up” came with consequences. For example, I was eventually known as the “that pickup guy” on my university, amongst my peers…

 

 

It’s why I now recommend guys find a bigger “pond to practice fishing in” if they wanna go on a pickup rampage like I did, to both get more dates and build more confidence.

 

To be honest, getting the momentum to confidently approach women didn’t come fast or easily.

 

Probably took three months of intense internal pain and struggle until I simply got over my approach anxiety.

 

If only I had known then, what I do now…

 

Side note: since I know what it’s like to have no confidence, I can help you get way more confident really quickly. So, if you want more confidence with women, definitely check out this free training:

 

 

 

 

Now look, there’s lots of things you can do to boost your confidence. You can work on your body language, your eye contact, your sense of humor, and your ability to embrace silence in conversations.

 

And working on those things will help you improve your confidence. But those things are like the “extra toppings” you put on your ice cream…

 

Here’s what helped my catapult my confidence (and my dating results) the most: 

 

Learning to pat myself on the back after each approach — and giving myself uplifting self talk — regardless of the “result” my actions just produced (or didn’t produce). Learning this is how I got rid of my anxiety. This one insight changed my life.

 

So please, steal this from me and use it in your life when you push your comfort zones and work towards becoming more confident.

 

After you take action, say to yourself, “Nice job, way to take action! Good work.”

 

The secret is to VALIDATE YOURSELF with POSITIVE SELF TALK each time you approach a girl, make a sales call, give a speech, or do an interview — regardless of what external result your action(s) deliver you.

 

 

 

Validating yourself with positive self talk IS the secret to ensuring you ALWAYS feel more confident each time you push your comfort zones and take bold actions.

 

Here’s what my former client has to say about this system I teach men to build their confidence…

 

“With Jason, anything is possible.

He understands the challenges one experiences in life through a series of disappointments and hardships. However, he also knows how to turn this around. He believes one can make a transformation as long as the individual also takes the initiative to do so.

As a mentor, Jason is always dedicated in helping you stay on track to achieving success. Clearly, he wants you to succeed and learn how to develop the techniques needed