How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) by DeYtH Banger (best book club books of all time .TXT) 📖

Texts First” Game

 

What he does

 

He seems like a perfect fit for you: You both have a ton of fun hanging out together, and he seems totally interested. Except for one minor little detail that you can’t stop stressing about—he never texts you first.

 

What you should do

 

“Don't chase,” says Tyler Young, dating coach and owner of Attractology. “It's hard sometimes, especially when you like someone and feel a connection.  However, it is vital to allow the man to pursue you.  Men are wired to hunt.”

Young recommends not being available 24/7, so stop texting him first! If he starts initiating the convos, awesome—you’ll know he is interested. But if that dude doesn’t make any moves, then hey, there are plenty of other fish in the sea—fish who are entirely willing to say hi first.

 

 

7. The “Super Flirt” Game

 

What he does

 

He’s a great guy, and you two just click. You always have a ball together! Unless (and this is a big “unless”) there are other ladies around. Suddenly, he enters mega-flirt mode.

 

What you should do

 

Chatting it up with other women while you’re around him is totally rude, but there’s the possibility that he doesn’t even see it as flirting. Confront him about his behavior. Let him know that it’s not cool to flirt in front of you— and be sure to use the word “flirt” so that he knows how you view it. Get straight to the point: “I don’t like when you flirt with other girls in front of me. It hurts my feelings.” If he’s the good guy you thought he was, he’ll stop his offensive actions ASAP.

 

 

Collegiettes, the most important thing to remember is to never play his game, no matter what it consists of. “There's really only one way to deal with mind games from a guy: don’t play into them,” says online dating expert Gina Stewart. “You need to be brave.  Call him out on BS behavior. Don't just ignore it, even if you are strong enough to walk away.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What To Do (And NOT Do) When The Guy You Like Doesn't Text You Back

 

 

 

He disappears for days, then blows up your phone. What should you text back?!

 

You and this guy have been texting for a month. You are completely smitten, and find yourself daydreaming about him instead of working.

When his messages pop up on your phone, you get a huge smile on your face, dying to see what he has to say.

Maybe you've gone on a couple fun dates, but nothing too serious has been discussed between the two of you.

He’s very funny, and enjoys joking with you until your stomach aches from laughter, and you both also have a love for Mexican food on the weekends.

 

 

 

By Thursday, your spicy cravings are really starting to kick-in. Did someone say mango margaritas? So you text him to see what he's up to.

But this Friday he doesn’t make plans with you to hit up your favorite taco joint.

 

You wonder about what he's up to and why he isn’t making plans ... but you keep it chill and don’t say anything.

 

After all you have your own life! Right?!

 

Finally, he mentions something about hanging with his boys and he would try to meet up over the weekend, but doesn’t confirm any plans.

 

Monday morning rolls around and you still haven’t heard from him.

 

Then at ten in the morning, you receive a text message saying, ”Morning. How was your weekend?”

You want to respond, but at the same time you’re annoyed and completely flustered because he was MIA all weekend.

So you debate, do you bring up that he ignored you all weekend? Or do you play it cool like you don’t care?

This happens to our friends and clients ALL the time, so we've come up with a set of five CRUCIAL rules to help you play it cool, but also find out what's up. Here's how to text a guy when you need him to take you seriously. 

 

1. Make him wait a bit!

 

You probably want to respond to his message right away, but WAIT!

You haven’t heard from him all weekend, so he doesn’t deserve your immediate attention. Stop and think about what you want to really say versus what you should say.

Impulsive messaging tends to come out like fast food, as opposed to replying with a well marinated, savory thought that will keep him coming back for more.

It’s your job to set the tone of the relationship if you want to keep the connection sizzling. Establishing boundaries in the beginning stages creates a recipe for him to follow for future interactions.

 

Remember — you show others how you want and deserve to be treated by how you communicate.

 

When you haven’t heard from him all weekend, wait a good amount of time before you respond to his Monday morning text.

A sufficient time would be 1-3 hours, because you need to show him you have your own life too. Responding to him when you are free from your work duties or hobbies shows you aren’t available at his beckon call.

 

You’re not his ego-feeder.

 

 

2. Keep calm and cool. 

 

Don’t respond to a text message when you are angry, upset or completely distraught over his behavior.

Aggressive, fiery text messages often lead to a zero response rate.

 

They are overwhelming for men to read, and may lead to him grabbing the fire extinguisher. This is can damage the connection instantly, cutting off all communication.

 

You will want to make sure you are calm and cool like a mango margarita before responding.

It’s not that you can’t be yourself, but you don't want to explode without knowing how come he was MIA all weekend! It’s good to ask indirect questions and not assume his whereabouts, such as “Did you do anything fun this weekend?”.

If you find yourself wanting to unleash, establish a calming plan of action. Going to the gym, getting a massage or listening to good tunes are great options for releasing tension.

 

This is when self-care is your key ingredient to keeping the connection burning.

To be happy with dating, you first must be happy with yourself.

 

3. Own who you are.

 

 

Don’t begin with asking questions or making statements that come off needy or lack confidence.

 

Do NOT text: 

 

“Where were you?”
“How come you didn’t text me all weekend?”

“So, sad we missed our burrito night!”
“I miss your face!”
“Did you take another girl to our restaurant?”

This is the opposite of confidence. And I’m sure this the opposite response you were hoping for.

 

Instead, reply confidently to his Monday morning text message like, 

 

“Weekend was great! Yours?”

 

You want to respond to his message with the same length of message he sends you. Nothing too short or nothing too long.

Be concise and nice, and keep it at 10 words or less.

Sending a positive reply shows you have your own thing going on and are optimistic about life. Thus, showing his lack of communication didn't impact your weekend plans or mood.

 

You've got a life, girl!

 

Since you did not hear from him all weekend, you don’t need to give him all the details about your weekend, either.

He missed out by not messaging you, so you don’t owe him play by play unless he inquires more.

Leaving a little mystery makes him want you, as a man likes to be intrigued.

 

 

4. Don’t play his game.

 

You don’t want to ignore him till the next day.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. This creates an impasse in your connection, creating friction as opposed to drawing him in. Your goal is to reconnect on a positive note to great a good vibe between the two of you.

 

Save face, and respond with grace.

 

Sending one word replies, like “Okay,” tend to come off as being passive-aggressive, this doesn't give room for a positive interaction to flourish.

It shows you are actually mad or feeling rejected, even though you don’t want him to know.

Your choice of words impact the outcome of what comes next.

 

5. Skip making plans. 

 

If he's not asking to make plans, you will want to pull back.

 

A man needs to feel space in order for him to ask for new plans. If you put pressure on him, he may push back as he will feel like you’re closing in on his manhood.

 

It may be a week or two before he asks you for another burrito date. So keep calm and carry on.

When it comes to dating, it’s important to keep your options open until you have a commitmentfrom a man; don’t wait around until he asks for another date.

 

Being passionate and secure with your lifestyle gives you a place of confidence and charisma, which is what attracts a man to your feminine energy.

 

At the end of the day, don’t place your happiness in the hands of technology. Live fully for you!

 

 

12 Things Passive-Aggressive People ALWAYS Do — But Don't Realize

 

 

 

The results: Being left angry and alone.

 

How do you know if you're passive-aggressive?

 

Well, do people think you're difficult to be around? Do they not trust you or respect you they way you wish they would? Truth is, you may be exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviors that totally confuse people — and turn them off to you.

In order to make these unseemly behavioral traits abundantly clear to you, I'm offering you a very straightforward list of passive-aggressive examples. You may find this harsh, but I hope you find it helpful.

 

Generally, you're behaving in a passive-aggressive manner when you:

 

1. You don't speak your truth openly, kindly and honestly when asked for your opinion or when asked to do something for someone.

 

How this shows up in communication is being "assertively unassertive." You say "Yes" (assertive) when you really mean "No way" (unassertive). Then, you let your behavior say "No way" for you. People become confused and mistrusting of you.

 

2. You appear sweet, compliant and agreeable, but are really resentful, angry, petty and enviousunderneath. 

 

You're living with pairs of opposites within, and that's making those around you crazy.  

 

3. You're afraid of being alone and equally afraid of being dependent. 

 

This is the case of "I hate you. Don't leave me." You fear direct communication because you fear rejection. You then often push away the people you care about because you don't want to seem in need of support. All the while, you are afraid of being alone and want to control those around you so they won't leave you. Very confusing!

 

4. You complain frequently that you're treated unfairly.

 

Rather than taking responsibility for stepping up and speaking your truth, you set yourself up as the (innocent) victim. You say others are hard on you, unfair, unreasonable and excessively demanding.

 

5. You procrastinate frequently, especially on things you do for others. 

 

One way of controlling others is to make them wait. You have lots of excuses why you haven't been able to get things done. You even blame others for why that is so. It's amazingly unreasonable, but you do it even though it destroys relationship, damages careers, loses friendships and jobs. And you tell others how justified you are in being angry because, once again, others treated you unfairly.

 

6. You're unwilling to give a straight answer. 

 

Another way of controlling others is to send mixed messages, ones that leave the other person completely unclear about your thoughts, plans or intentions. Then, you make them feel wrong when you tell them that what they took from your communication was not what you meant. Silly them!

 

7. You sulk, withdraw and pout. 

 

You complain that others are unreasonable and lacking in empathy when they expect you to live up to your promises, obligations, or duties. Passive-aggressive women favor the silent treatment as an expression of their contempt. Passive-aggressive men prefer the deep sigh and shake of the head, while walking away. Both expressions say “You poor confused person. You’re not worth talking to,” when the real reason for their behavior is that they have not, can not or will not take responsibility for their own behavior.

 

8. You cover up your feeling of inadequacy with superiority, disdain or hostile passivity. 

 

Whether you set yourself up to be a self-sabotaging failure — "Why do you have such unrealistic expectations of me?" or a tyrant or goddess incapable of anything less than perfection, "To whom do you think you are speaking, peon?" you're shaking in your boots from fear of competition and being found out as less than perfect. (P.S. You likely picked this one up in childhood!)

 

9. You are often late and/or forgetful. 

 

One way of driving people away