How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) by DeYtH Banger (best book club books of all time .TXT) 📖

Jamel after the first date?" Stay away from this kind of topic.

 

17. Follow Your Heart

If you trust your heart instead of your brain you will be more emotionally available and vulnerable. This is a great path to follow. The path of love is much more fun than the path of ego.

 

18. Make the Best of It

A smelly or boring date is another chance for you to get clear on what you don't want.

 

19. It's Better To Be Alone Than To Wish You Were Alone

There's no need to settle for a guy who is a great kisser but is lazy and wants you to be his mommy.

 

20. Keep It Simple

This means hair, make-up, and your brain. Don't over-analyze every little detail of your date. 

 

21. It's Easier To Catch A Bear With Honey Rather Than Vinegar

You don't need to be too sweet — like Stevia. As sweet as honey will do just fine.

 

 

22. Babies Will Be Babies, Just Take It One Minute At A Time

Or boys will be boys. Whatever your current situation looks like: just stay in the present moment.

 

23. If It's Not Important, Don't Say It

When you talk less, it means so much more when you do say something.

 

 

24. Don't Be So Dramatic

Keep the why-didn't-you-call-me-back-sooner-it's-been-27-whole-minutes on your television and out of your life.

 

25.Never Lose Your Self-Respect

If he texts you at 3 a.m. to "hang out," that is a set up for you to earn the booty-call title.

 

 

 

7 Things Nobody Tells You About Playing The Field (But You NEED To Know)

 

 

 

You don't have to choose just one guy.

Some women meet lots of men online and have a chance to play the field.

This makes looking for love exciting, as you get to pick and choose from a variety of guys to find the right one.

Yet, this can come with its own set of problems if you don’t know how to handle the social opportunity online dating can bring.

My dating coaching client, Ellie, had a parade of men who responded to her online profile. Some weeks she’d have coffee or a drink with as many as five new guys.

She managed to fit all these meetings into her calendar, but you can imagine how the amount of attention was overwhelming at times.

Ellie was doing something right because she also had a lot of second and third date requests.

But juggling her suitors became a concern.

So she called me for my expert advice on how to deal with the flood of romantic options.

I’m a huge fan of playing the field when you begin dating. There are seven vital reasons why this is a sound strategy for finding love.

Here are 7 rules to follow — and the one BIG mistake to avoid — when playing the field:

 

1. Meet more guys than you think you need to. 

 

 

There’s no second date guarantee in dating. Regardless of how much fun you both had the first time you meet, you never know who will ask for a second date.

Women are constantly surprised and devastated by this frustrating fact. Rather than waiting around for a man to call and ask, it’s best to see all the prospects who appeal and fit your criteria (as much as you can tell before the first meeting).

That’s why it’s good to "hedge your bets” — because you need to meet lots of men to find a good match.

 

2. Be willing to learn something from every single date. 

 

When you date multiple men, there are serious benefits.

You learn how to start conversations and keep them going. You boost your confidence as you gain experience. You learn how to interact with men the way that works best for you and them. You figure out how to leave a date early when things aren’t working.

Think of how much more savvy you’d be if you had 20 dates in a short period vs. spreading them out over months.

That’s what I discovered when I was dating after 40. Sometimes I juggled three or four guys because they appealed to me and asked me out.

Most were one date wonders so it never became a problem. (Except for the time I was dating three guys named John ... but that’s a story for another time.)

 

3. Flirt, flirt, and flirt some more.

 

 

In business, when you’re on a roll landing new clients, it tends to attract even more clients.

The same thing can be said for dating multiple men.

One client of mine who used this strategy successfully created her desired deal flow by being friendly and flirty at airline clubs and charity events.

She had an absolute blast meeting amazing men before she chose the one she wanted to get serious with.

 

4. Avoid settling too soon.

 

Some clients insist they’ll only date one person at a time, see how things go and move on if things don’t work out.

This sounds logical, but here’s the rub — you can easily get prematurely attached to the wrong guy, because you don’t know about your options.

The last thing you want to do is shut down the flow of interested men.

That’s like telling the Universe, “I don’t need these choices”.

I advise not limiting your options so fast. If a man you find interesting wants to meet, even though you’ve had two dates with another — say yes and go!

 

5. Remain objective.

 

When you date only one guy, he’ll be your focal point, because there aren’t others to soak up all that attention.

Dating more than one guy at a time keeps you from fixating and allows you to remain objective.

The point of dating is to get to know people, so you can choose your best match based on something more objective than just the fact that you've grown attached to him.

Playing the field does just that.

 

6. Follow the "3-Date Rule".

 

I recommend my clients go on three dates with any man who is in the “ball park” of what they want.

If you go on a first date with a guy and you’re not sure about him — that’s a good reason to see him again.

Sometimes a man can be nervous and not at his best on the first couple of dates, then shines on date three when given the chance.

That was true with my husband. Date one was fun, unlike date two which was a dud.

I could have easily kicked him to the curb but decided to give him another shot. Date three was magical!

I found out months later he wasn’t feeling well, felt too shy to say anything and didn’t want to cancel. I would have missed out if I didn’t follow the 3-Date Rule.

It takes time to get to know people and discover who could be a good match. Give men a chance by going on a few dates with each one before you start cutting them loose.

 

7. Prioritize your dates.

 

I helped my client Ellie create a plan to handle her bounty of men by creating create a plan to handle her bounty of men by prioritizing dates that were most likely to lead to a lasting relationship, which was her goal.

The first priority went to second and third dates, so she could continue getting to know men she’d already met.

That helped her weed out guys who weren’t a good match. Naturally, some disappeared as well.

 

Just remember, if you’re too hard to schedule, he might move on.

 

You need to be available with time in your calendar for dates. If you put a man off for a week or two, he’s likely to move on.

A man’s interest in you has a shelf life like food from the grocery store.

 

There are plenty of other women, so if you’re difficult to schedule, he has other interesting women to choose from.

If Ellie had too many second and third dates in a week, she held off meeting additional new men.

Once space opened up, then she’d say yes to first dates again.

 

Prioritizing simplified dating for Ellie and she’s still happily meeting men before narrowing her options and choosing the right man for her.

Now that you are aware of all the benefits to playing the field I hope you’ll give it a try.

C H A P T E R _ Z E R O - Dash (Part 4)

 10 Ways To Know For Sure You're In Love With A Good Man

 

 

What makes men so great?

 

By Krista Hammerbacher Haapala

 

What are the qualities of a good man? Is it someone who brings you flowers for no reason, kisses you goodbye in the morning, or makes you breakfast in bed? Strong relationships are much more than doing nice things for each other, and when you have a good man in your life, you can tell the difference.

If your boyfriend or husband has these qualities, you've snagged yourself a good guy.

 

1. He owns his power.

 

 

A quality man stands strong in his choices. He balances his time with a clear connection to his priorities. He chooses to be exceptionally committed in each of his roles whether partner, father, professional, or others. He accepts responsibility for his actions and never blames or shirks his duties.

 

 

2. He uses direct, honest communication.

 

 

A respectful man will trust you with the truth. You know where you stand. He doesn’t lie or manipulate the facts. He is confident in his ability to communicate emotion in a productive way. He seeks solutions to issues without any passive-aggressiveness or power struggle. He maintains a demeanor of patience and compassion knowing that is the strongest stance.  

 

 

3. He makes you feel secure in his presence.

 

 

A man who views you as an equal wants you to feel safe. He goes out of his way to see that your needs are met. He never intimidates or bullies, and would never resort to name-calling or talking about you with anyone else. Those behaviors are foreign to him. He respects your needs and does not judge. He wants you to feel his love.

 

 

4. He is chivalrous out of caring, not obligation.

 

A secure man wants to pamper you out of love, not because people think he should. He trusts your ability to take care of yourself, but is fulfilled when he can do things to take care of you. He gives gifts and attention mindfully, not just when it is called for or when it suits him. He is uninterested in how things look to others, but focuses on how your relationship feels to you.  

 

 

5. He accepts, but does not expect, your caregiving.

 

A solid man is deeply grateful for everything you do for him. He expects nothing, but accepts your caregiving for the act of love that it is. He views you as a partner, not a housemate or a mother or his personal assistant. He asks for what he needs trusting you will ask the same of him. He is quite able to take care of himself, yet gracefully welcomes the support you choose to provide. 

 

 

6. He works hard and plays hard.

 

 

A mindful man knows his boundaries and maintains his wellness. He gives his best to work and family and knows when to play. He treats his body in a balanced way. Resentment has no place in his life because he makes the space for what he knows he needs for holistic health. He exudes positive energy and values fun.  

 

 

7. He overestimates your abilities.

 

 

A confident man is not threatened by your abilities nor does he diminish your strengths. In fact, he sees your capability through an optimistic lens. Never comparing or judging, he upholds the vision of your potential even when you are discouraged or depleted. He delights in and celebrates your success.  

 

8. He asks permission.

 

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