I Am A Woman And Not Stupidly Touchy About It by Santosh Jha (books under 200 pages txt) 📖

one’s strengths as well as weaknesses. Nobody is born with a Zero! Everyone has some pluses and some minuses. Working your own ‘mathematics’ right with acceptance is empowerment. This is some area, where most women waste huge amount of time, energy and money, chasing something and wishing for such ‘attainments & endowments’, which actually are ‘mimicked’ empowerment.

Setting High Standards/Benchmarks – Empowerment does not come smooth. You set standards for self, say no to mediocrity and be assertive about quality in all life-living choices. Nothing casual should be entertained. Never be comfortable with populist and chic practicality. Setting high benchmarks for who you shall date, what high-valued people you shall be seen with, what lifestyle choices you say an emphatic NO, etc. Most women, even when they are well empowered, do not care about what elements their personality and consciousness is being associated with and identified with. That is why, often, their own body language and personality positioning exhibit ‘wrong signals’ to many around them. Labeling and judging starts pouring in and it is tough to remain ‘cool’ to such intrusions...

Unlearning/Deculturing – Being a woman, it is a natural awareness that a woman’s instincts and cultured action/behavior have so many histogenetic factors, ingrained since ages of wrong and skewed socialization. An empowered woman has a long list of attitudes, instincts, orientations and so-called ‘soul-voices’ to unlearn, as many of them are vestiges of past, with little veracity and utility in contemporary milieus. Science has now facilitated the learning of how men and women differ because of the brain structures and how many brain structures are subconsciously ‘scripted’ because of wrong and unequal cultural factors. A new-age woman needs to ‘unlearn’ a huge portion of ‘archaic and cultured’ mind consciousness. This pruning is very crucial to empowerment.

Symmetry Of Success – Much of the contemporary and populist benchmarks of successes are man-made and man-favored. The world is not truly a women-centric realism. Women hold the potential and prospect for future because they are different and can see the world and all contemporary benchmarks uniquely. Men have unleashed enough stupidities on earth since ages. Women need not subscribe to them and add more to them. They have to redesign and reshape their own novel and unique successes, as they see and wish. An empowered woman ‘redesigns’ all utilities and worth of life and living with the poised and symmetrical sensitivities, which are truly and uniquely women-centric. The mad-rush to out-race and outstrip men in the zeal for ‘equality’ is bad agenda. New agenda is the sanity and sensitivity of empowered women. This aspect seems to be hugely missing.

However, when we weed the gender element out of the above idea of empowerment, we all can clearly see that there is nothing man or woman about it. An empowerment is essentially gender-neutral. All goodness and idealisms are gender-neutral. All good men and women are the same – brimming with love, compassion, equanimity, positivity and purpose. Everyone needs to be empowered. In fact, ideal it is that men should strive more to make women empowered and women should look to make men empowered too.

Why should we have a world where ‘empowerment’ is not in balance and equanimity? What better picture of a future earth where everyone is empowered – woman or man, it is never asked...! No need anyway...

As the wise say – The Human intelligence is a sure process towards complexities. Don’t align your life energies with complexities. To align all your energies with peace-harmony and self-poise, we all have to align with our personal and internal Innocence. We all have to accept – Only that Intelligence is true and right, which empowers and aligns us to Innocence. True empowerment is in aligning with your own individualistic Innocence, never the Intelligence. Rather, if possible, use all your intelligence to empower and enhance your own Innocence...!

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CHAPTER 5

Tonnes of literature, especially poetry have been written on behavioral idiosyncrasies of females. In Oriental Urdu language, this word called ‘Ada’ is the most common subject of all Shayars (poets), from starters to the arrived.

Somehow, Ada is associated with positivity of reception, in the part of men, who never complained about Ada of the women in their lives. This positivity was always there, even when the consequences of these behavioral idiosyncrasies (Ada) were often aimed at painfulness for the men. The Ada of beloved was often this emotionless neutrality, bordering neglect and even conceited carelessness. Still, the Shayars, the men in love of their unaffected beloved wrote beautiful poetry over Ada and even labeled them as something, which engendered joys for them…

A Poet said –

‘Iltiza Ka Malal Kya Kije, Unke Dar Par Kahin Padi Hogi…’

This means – What regret I can have of my request (Of Love) to her, it (request) would probably be lying unattended on her doorstep…!

Another poet said –

‘Jinke Hothon Pe Hasin, Panw Mein Chhale Honge, Han Wahi Log Tere Chahne Wale Honge…’

This means – Those, who shall keep smiling, even when blisters shall fill up their feet, can dare to claim to be your lovers…!

Somehow, this Ada, stands to be compared with what contemporary culture accepts as attitude. The men, who talked positively about Ada of women folks and wrote copious poetries over the subject, are now very bitter about the ‘attitudes’ modern women are dishing out to them. No doubt, no poetry of any worth is being written about attitudes of contemporary women and all sorts of bitter and negative talks are listed against them. These men-accusations have now become a meme – rooted part of collective unconscious of modern men, who now accept this realism as generic trouble with all modern women. This is another trullusion! Perceptional but so widely accepted that it has become a meme.

A person wrote on a social site –

‘If the brain of a modern woman is squeezed, the attitude that shall come out of it can easily equal water in Pacific Ocean…’

Often, contemporary men feel scared and even embattled with the so-called attitudes of modern women. The reality remains that ‘attitude’ is something, most people are wearing more than clothes today. Men are also wearing enough attitudes; women however are listed as greater and larger offenders. It may be a realism that as most attitudes of men are age-old and a continuation from the past, they are not even noticed, whereas modern women have attitudes, which surely are new, acquired recently out of their newly-established empowerment and operative in new milieus of contemporary society and cultures, they are being counted more and are registered deeply.

The core issue is – what is this attitude, which becomes negative and scary, whereas Ada was good and even praised! The meanings of attitude, as listed in dictionaries varies from a ‘settled worldview’ to ‘negativity of behavior’. Similarly, Ada too is defined similarly. Though, some details may vary, the common factor is related to some ‘unpleasantness of behavior’.

So, what makes Ada so good, or not so bad but attitude as definitively bad?

If the two realisms – Ada and Attitude are compared and details of various shades of two are scrutinized, it seems clear as why Ada is good and attitude is bad. Let us list the differences –

Somehow, both Ada and Attitude are predominantly women-specific entities and both pertain to behavioral impropriety of the person. Still, Ada is often very implicit, latent and subtle, whereas it seems, attitude is explicit, overt and intentionally tangible.

Ada in popular sense is associated with ‘neutrality’ of beloved or women, in return of lover’s overtures for intimacy, not targeted at him but there as usual demeanor; whereas, attitude is a usually particularalistic and ‘intended negativity’ towards a defined target. Attitude surely does not have the benefit of doubt as ‘neutrality’ is hugely missing, whereas Ada is mostly the neutrality, in response to the request for ‘positivity’ of lover.

Most importantly, Ada literally has more to do with body language and words are often missing. It is more about casualness and unattachedness of attention, expressed and communicated through ‘unresponsiveness’ and ‘neutrality’ of body postures and body languages. Attitude in contemporary times has begun to take words along body languages. This accompaniment of words is the prime culprit of offence. Attitude carries words and actionable body language, whereas Ada has no words and actionability is smothered by absolute neutrality…

Last but not the least, Ada was considered as an expression of vulnerability and helplessness of a woman, as women in past had to live with loads of socio-cultural restrictions. A woman’s neutrality was considered an Ada as lovers accepted that she was crippled by restrictions on her and was not as liberated as men to express and communicate their inside desires. However, attitude is associated with strength, endowments and empowerment of modern liberalized women. Ada emanated out of helplessness and choicelessness, whereas, attitude is engendered out of liberty and empowerment.

The simple fact is – neither Ada, nor attitude is a desired state of human choice. Both present a situation to men and women to ‘be, what they may not be and what they intend to be but they are not’. This conflict and dualism is never good for human relationships, especially man-woman intimate relationships. We all are better off being simple and true persons. Wearing something, which hides and discolors our true consciousness and personality is not desirable for the person as well as others. We already have so much distrust among men and women.

The purpose of this talk is to bring about the importance of the strength of communication for modern empowered women. Communication is rather a very critical element of empowerment and here it is now not necessary to say that this too is gender-neutral.

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CHAPTER 6

There are ‘Fictions’, and there are acoustics of insinuations; the mass and energy all behind this populist simulation, beckoning with all its unputdownable might, to be accepted as ‘Facts’. There are ‘Virtualisms’, cosmetically wrapped and muffled with pink-posturing, with loads of visual-vehementality, urging to sediment them in subconscious and unconscious mind domains as ‘Realism’…!

It is a deluge out there – Torrents of mighty cascades of ‘Iconism’, ‘Populism’, perceptional parenthesis, benchmarking and signposts of semantic successes. Tough… hugely tough to keep oneself standing ‘rooted’ and in ‘poise’ of personal positioning…!

There are projections of ‘I’ and populist list of expectations from ‘Self’. More than that, there is this fervent felicitation of an ‘over-effort’ – both physically and mentally – to toe the populist cultural benchmarking of Good, Right And Appropriates…!

It is tough… hugely complexly precarious to understand and accept – ‘What and which way a woman should be; which way I am a woman… which way I need to accept to stay as a genuinely true woman. … the answers are not easy and they come with loads of scars on your soul…

The ambient milieu is flushed with ‘perceptional’ factualisms of weird proportions. Your ‘I’ is not isolated and in control of ‘Self’. The family, the relatives, the peer group, everyone has ‘facts’ to offer you as ‘appropriates’ but most of them are ‘populist perceptions’…

There is surely an easy way… the easy way of accepting oneself as a body and accept body benchmarks of being woman. Even the notion of womanhood then takes ‘Shape and Form’ from these body-specific appropriates. Of course, the multi-million dollar business for ‘shaping-up-women’ (both body-wise and mind-wise) tells you loads about how best a woman you can be if you get done this and that appropriates…! Most of these populist adverts are for bodies as ‘woman’ not as minds of human consciousness, sans gender appropriates…!

The tough way however is to ask questions about which way I am a woman, which ‘Shapes’ me in lasting peace and connect with my elemental womanhood …! Can I ask, isn’t it appropriate to be a woman, who asks for ‘shaping up appropriately’, the honesty, simplicity, innocence, trust and many such intangibles, all around in whatever milieus she moves? Isn’t it an inseparable benchmark of womanhood to seek a lasting system of sincerity; a strong and ever-evolving connect with wellness in society and