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I'm so lost what should I do? No one will help me, no body every hears my cry's for help. He comes in my room almost every single night. I try my best to fight him off of me, but I am only an eleven years old little girl. He is way older than me, and so much stronger than me to. I just can't get him off of me. I can't get him to leave me alone. I try to, but than he hits me. what on earth should I do?

My mom is in the next room asleep, but she never wakes up. It's like she doesn't even hear me screaming. I try to tell her what he does, but she won't believe me at all. She didn't believe my sister either. Now my sister is gone away, and she isn't coming back because of him. She shouldn't be blaming her self for what happened either. No girl, or boy should. It's not there fault, it's the persons fault that is doing it.

My sister ran away because he used to do the same things to her, he had both of us than now he only has me so it's worse than it used to be. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Should I tell someone? What if they don't believe me? Than what would he do to me? So many question, but there is never any answers.

All I can do now is lay awake at night and wonder if he is going to come in tonight or not. So I lay there in my bed and wait for the morning to come, so I can go to school and get away from him. I know its only for about eight and a half hours away from him, but its better than nothing.

It's really not much better than it is at home. Honestly, I'm not very popular at all I have only one or two friends. There not really friends, but someone I can talk to. There only talk to me when their friends aren't around watching them. When their friends are around there mean to me as well as all the rest of them. By the way, I'm only in the fifth grade.

We have lived with him since I was about three years old. My sister is four years older than me so she was about the age of seven years old. He didn't used to do that it all started about when I was around the age nine or ten. We lived in Georgia, in a three bed room house on a hill.

Now, that I don't live there any more, I am still afraid of every boy or man that comes near me, touches me or anything like that.

I'm in the seventh grade when I finally get out of that hell hole. It's been two years since my sister left. I'm probably going to live with her, but I don't know yet.
No, I live with my cousin. I don't really like her, but she is okay I guess. We live near Jackson S.C. My new school is okay I guess. I'v made a few friends, the boys here seem nice, but I don't know yet.

My mom has left me again for another man, I don't know what to do. I have no where to go. I have to go live with my two sisters and my brother. It may not be that bad, but all I can do is wait and see. It is now one o'clock in the morning. I should be in bed by now, but I am not. I waiting on my brother to come pick me up and take me to my new home.

I have to leave my new school now, and go to another one. I kinda hate being the new kid all the time, but I guess i'll get used to it. It's feel like nobody wants me. Now I live in Aiken. The third school i'v been to since I have started the seventh grade, hope this is the last and hope I make some friends.

First day at my new school I have made two friends, they are both girls. They seem really nice. The teachers seem to be okay I'm guessing. No matter what I do I's still afraid of every boy in my classes. I wear a jacket all year, and my hair up. I try to fit in, but it isn't easy. This school year is almost over, I have more friends in one year than I had in fifth and in sixth grade. I think this was a pretty good year for me. I wonder how next year will turn out.


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So now it's my eighth grade year. I'm in another new school. Wonder how it will turn out. Soo far so good. I have a few new friends, mostly girls. I'm not so scared of boys much anymore. I still lay awake at night wondering if anyone is gonna come in. I live in fear. And I don't know what to do about it.


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Three years later!

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I am now sixteen years old. I am still living with my sister and brother. I still have some fears of the past, but there not as bad as they once were. I have now found a man that I am madly in love with. He makes me feel safe when ever he is around. I don't know what I would do with out him. I will be seventeen in a few months now.

It is now March only a few weeks from my birthday. The man of my dreams has pop the question. I have said yes of course, lol. He is eighteen years of age. He is everything a man should be. I hope and I pray that we will stay together for ever. I also hope that me fears will not interfere with or relationship.

I have just moved in with my fiance. I still lay awake at night even tho I know he won't let anyone or anything hurt me, or happen to me. So far we are really happy. Happier than I have been in a very long time. I'm wonder how I could have been so lucky to find him, and him to choose me out of all the girls in the world.

We have been living together for about five months now, and were still as happy as can be. We haven't had any disagreements at all. I have made alot of new people that I love because of him. I turned out to have the best father in the world. And now I know even tho I still and probably always will have fears. That nothing will every hurt me again......!!!


~~THE END~~





My life. Its hard most of the time. Sometimes it makes you laugh, other times it will make you really angry. Then there's those times when i'm with the best person in my life, my fiance. When i'm with him i feel so happy so alive. I don't know what to do, how to act, or what to say. Then when i'm away from him I feel alone, like I just want to give up on life, I mean I know nobody said it was gonna be easy, but I didn't know it was gonna be this dang hard. I look around and see that my house isn't a home, no, its just a place full of hate and lies.

My mother. She makes me lie to my father for her. She makes us all lie for her. She makes us hide the truth. I want soo bad to tell him the truth about "Them". I feel like i'm going to explode if I hold it in any longer. I want to run and hide from all the lies and secrets I hold within me, but I just can't get away from them no matter what I do, or where I run to.

I need to do something to stop it, I need the pain to end. It's killing me inside and out, but she doesn't care. she doesn't even notice how much it bothers me, neither does he. So I sit and wonder what to do.

They act like there just friends so that my dad doesn't think anything of it even tho I know he can tell something is going on. Oh no, there not just friends they are way more than that, they are really Lovers. Everybody knows it, but him, the main person that should know it. I want so bad to tell him, to just yell it out to him, but where do I begin? Would he hate me forever? I couldn't bare it if my father hated me. I don't care if they hated me, they would get what they deserved, but my dad hasn't done anything wrong to anyone to deserve such pain as this.

Why won't they go ahead and save some of the pain and tell him now? Just get it over with already. It would save

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