2 years in a room by Charaf sghir, charaf sghir, charaf sghir, charaf sghir (notion reading list .txt) 📖

2 YEARS IN A ROOM

INTRODUCTION:

Hey this is me a 21 old year boy talking to you from the bottom of my heart , I want to tell you my story , and my how did I survive real depression and how I didn’t do something stupid like killing myself or hurting myself .

CHAPTER 1: How it all started

I was an active boy in high school everyone used to know Charaf the belieber the blond guy it was like the best moments of my life the fact that I was well known in high school was something special back then. my first girlfriend in high school was named ,well sorry I can’t say the names because she may be reading this one day she was like a friend  to me blond hair white skin and brown eyes I used to like her a lot , but we didn’t last long because I was such a stupid guy and also because she did nothing to me and I was like am sorry we have to break up , she asked why and I was like you talked to another boy but deep down I knew she didn’t , I did all this lies to get another girl , she was my first date  yeah my first date  in didn’t see her in like 8 years was so happy to meet her again in high school we started talking then I was like let’s bring it back , lets do it  again and we did … but once again I fucked it up by being a dick . I will never forget how I did meet this crazy guy named fodel weird name right? same as his moves and words, he was like a friend to me back then used to meet him once a week in the outdoors of our high school with his motor bike, riding with him to get attention from everyone was kind a like the best moments that I will never forget ps: his now like a brother to me the only friend I trust more than a best friend I said a brother please I mean everything I say you will know why later. how can I not talk about houmam aka hemam his like my oldest friend my childhood friend who used to come ever my home every night we used to play video games all night long and talk about everything that happen in our high school . There was a girl who looked chubby who loves everyone while I was sitting she looking at me for like 1 hour she was wearing a black hoodie with a sing and quote on it « pray for the party » I knew she would text me and she did the next day we started talking she was so nice and lovely and guess what she is now my girl best friend and the one who take cares of me. Day by day everything was going well with all the friends I had until a girl got in the high school I liked her since day 1  I went to her I was like we need to talk she said yeah we talked for a but I asked for a date she said yeah again I was the happiest guy out there we started dating and everything was so nice we been dating for like a year  , but I didn't know back then that this is girl is the one i didn't know thatthis girl is my future love and maybe mother of my kids . i helped her out of broken place and she did the same despite all that i left without telling why i don't know if she will ever read this book but i love her still and i can't take her out of my mind because she the reason am happy , and when the darkness went over me she was the light ill always love you and ill always want you to be my wife and everything if you reading reach me out love of my life ,she is on my mind , she is always on my mind but you know what i hate the most i hate the fact that  i love thinking about her . Its killing me am dying day by day because love kills , real love kills . Sometimes i wish my life is a movie so i can hug her at the end . I miss a lot about her i miss our old love , old actions, her old heart , i miss the faith she loved me in, look at me know holding my self to not talk to her , you know how hard it is ? To hold yourself from not talking to the love of your life? Am burning my heart everyday so i don’t miss you, i close my phone weeks even months .I delete her photos , but there is a moment when i go crazy and love starts burning me inside i start looking at anyway to reach out to you , i always look for a way too see if you are doing good so here we go again . high school ended and my whole is about to change...

Having a young parents is a good thing in a way but bad very bad in another way, when I came to this life my parents was so young my mom was 18 and my dad was 22 it was such a hard thing to have a baby or a kid when you’re still a young men but how can someone stop a couple who loves each other? no ONE can because love is strong really strong it can’t be beaten by anything and that’s why my parents got married and had a baby called charaf and yeah charaf is my name, they told me that the day I was born in was a rainy day but I always wondered if they did see my tears under the rain? Tears or happiness? Fear of life? Fear of the dark future. since my dad was young he didn’t have a lot of money to buy a house but he did bring me and my mom to Home of my grandma we stayed there for 4 years all I can remember is good memories with family and friends I loved them so much but for sure my grand ma who raised me and teaches me basics also my aunt who loved me as a son because she didn’t had one for me she is the second mom to me. day by day my dad and mom had to move the new house but for me I had to stay with grandma because I wanted to stay around her and aunt I didn’t accept the fact that ill not be able to see them every single day that’s why my dad allowed me to stay with her and study there, don’t get it wrong they didn’t left me I just didn’t sleep with me at night they were visiting me every day. having a kid when you’re young is hard to handle because yourself still need you so you have to forget about yourself and focus on the kid which will makes you fail to achieve a lot of dreams and a lot of goals which will have effect on you and the kid. MY grandpa and how can I forget the most wise man I’ve ever heard he teached me that life isn’t about laughing around its about working so damn hard to enjoy it later he had some quotes that will makes you wonder for days, he once told me “don’t take advices from the people who makes you laugh and only from the people who makes you cry “Isn’t it true? Believe me I mean everything I say and I already said that in chapter 1. My grandma raised me with her own money she never said something like mean to me she was so good to me like she was amazing , you’re probably wondering why I named this chapter the morning it because of her it was a long night for me I sleeped at 7am .. someone was knocking my room door at 9am I opened it was my aunt with tears in her eyes saying hurry up grandma is dying I can’t imagine or remember my reaction all I did was running to her room catches her hands watching her ocean eyes and hair long red hair she was looking at all of us I knew she saying goodbye forever I never seen my dad crying , and I never died before ,all my hopes was that am dreaming I couldn’t believe what am seeing no I refused to believe until my eyes was full of tears and my foot was so weak and heart was crying too . she closed her eyes and I closed my mind her arms n dropped down and my life dropped down her mouth closed and my sight closed as well all I was seeing was the dark and I could hear was screams from everywhere it was like a nightmare but I wish it is . Its hard accepting the truth really hard to but it’s the truth that’s mean its right thing it’s what really going on there no escape from the truth. I realized she died I tried to help everyone at home even though I was still in the dark I was forcing myself to do something but all I did was finding myself in my bed surrounded by dad and my brother asking if am okay . The next day was the days of us taking her to cemetery imagine putting the women who raised you underground and leave? Sound easy physically but mentally is the hardest thing am not good at goodbyes am not Sam smith. Am just a guy who lost himself while he was trying to save everyone else, when grand mom died I was fully depressed it’s not cancer it’s not a virus it depression there is no remedy to it. When you have it you don’t sleep sad nah, you don’t even sleep which makes it worst keeping yourself away from everyone friends family and the world. Nothing can makes you smile nothing can make you happy not even your life.