Brotherhood by Zachary Gibson (snow like ashes txt) đ
- Author: Zachary Gibson
Book online «Brotherhood by Zachary Gibson (snow like ashes txt) đ». Author Zachary Gibson
It was that day. Again. All the same people multiplied by three. And what did all this mean? It meant he had to hear that wordâŠTHAT WORDâŠagain and again and again, ALL. DAY. LONG, without a single thing that he could do about it. Everyoneâs feelings toward the word was different. This one loved it. That one couldnât stand it. He was bored by it. She was embarrassed by it. What made it all so significant, though? Why was this word, THAT word? Simple. Because HE did NOT have it.
âMom!â
âDad!â
âUncle-!â
âAunt-!â
âCousin-!â
âBro!â
âSis!â
All those damned words. All meaning the exact. Same. Thing. The one thing he did not have, and because he did not have it was outcast. Family. This supreme collection, this end-all-be-all of gatherings he lacked. The results? Social exile, miserable childhood, and a foreboding void of emptiness. He knew he was not the only one, he was just the only one everyone paid attention to.
This occasion was going to be the most destructive of them all as well. This was freshman year of college. All the parents had come to see their kids off and to feel a rejuvenation of ambition and pride, which they would then imbue to their young. However, such was not the case for him. Not forâŠnot forâŠ
âHey, Zero!â called a dark-haired girl. âSo,â she smirked devilishly, âwhere are they? How come your parents arenât here to join you? Donât they care? Donât they love you?â She returned to her parents laughing a sirenâs melody.
âBitch,â he thought to himself. âIâd like to see how youâd fare.â He looked around, the word, the name, theâŠanswer-to, ZeroâŠechoed around in his head reverberating with explosive force. A force that at the very least numbed him to the deeper agonies. They were everywhere, surrounding him, engulfing him, overwhelming him with a sense of loss and helplessness. âItâs not fairâŠand thereâs not a damn thing I can doâŠâ
He stormed off against the tides, thrashing, and forcing his way through the barriers of people. There was only one place he wanted to be. His dorm, a haven of serenity, solitude, and solace. His roommates may not necessarily have enjoyed the effect that his presence had on their âsocial statusâ, but he could truly care less. At least there it would be dark. There, he would be ignored, and could just drown his thoughts in the ocean of darkness.
A few minutes and a vicious walk later, he arrived at the door to his dorm. To his greatest misfortune, the families were still working like rampant, mindless beasts through the corridors of the wing. âGet. Out. Of. My. WAY!â he yelled shoving back against the wave that had just crashed into him.
âHow rude!â exclaimed a lady far overdressed for the part.
âLittle brat,â hissed the man accompanying her.
A garish glare was the only thing he received from the girl that they chaperoned.
Zero rolled his eyes as he barreled into his dormitory. âThey donât understand! None of them do! Not one of them even CARES to understand! Who the hell do they think they are to judge?!â He slammed and locked the door, then flopped onto his bed. He had been right. This time was going to be the worst.
It was not that his own family was not there, it was the presence of othersâ families, and those peopleâs actions. The looks of hate, of pity, of condescension. The words of remorse, of sorrow, of empathy. The touches of falsity, of phantasm, of deceit. It all made him sick with disgustâŠand a deeper illness of torturous loneliness.
It was this realization, the actualization of said pain that brought it all about, that initiated this fatal experience. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it as shrilly and powerfully as he could. He screamed at the end of each previous one so that they all blurred into a symphony of shattering. Then came the soft sobs of a broken spirit. Whimpers from a boy who simply wanted to be looked at equally, who wanted to BE equal.
âWh-whyâŠwhy m-m-meâŠ? How comeâŠI d-donât get aâŠa cha-ha-haaance?â He clutched his pillow and slumped into the bed. The pain was so encompassing it had desensitized him to the other presence that had entered the room. âItâs not fairâŠitâs not fairâŠitâs just not FAAAIIIRRR!â
Then, suddenly, the most unexpected thing, a softâŠa soft touch on his shoulder. âUmâŠZeroâŠ?â said a gentle voice. Male. But that was all he could identify. Zero froze. It was just another trick, another lie. This guy didnât really care, he just wanted to increase his misery. He was NOT going to give him his sadistic pleasure.
âWhat the hell do you want?â
âI heard you crying. I came to make sure everything was okay.â Zero felt additional weight come onto the bed next to him. Then a hand moving in small circles on his back. âAre you okay?â
âYeah! Iâm just damned dandy! Thatâs why Iâm here crying my fucking eyes out!â He whipped around to face this audacious intruder and was stunned at what he came to see. The boyâs eyes were tender, a slight expression of shock on his face. âGood. Just how he should look.â
âYou think I donât know what youâre up to? Youâre really a dumb piece of crap! In case you havenât realized only the people who donât care call me Zero, and that just so happens to be everybody! So you can stand yourself up, and walk out of here right now. OR. I can kick you out the window. So which is it?â
The boy stared at him unblinkingly and unfazed, his eyes still shimmering with something unidentifiable. His body completely relaxed in the presence of this growing maelstrom. âYou donât want that. You donât want me to go.â
These words threw Zero for such a loop he had no ability to respond. âYâŠYes, I do! Leave now!â
âIâm sorry for calling you Zero. I just heard others refer to you as that. I didnât know it was an insult. Figured it was your nickname or something.â
âHow fucking stupid do you think I am? Honestly. You think I would fall for as pathetic a trick as that?â
âTrick?â He blinked at Zero, a look of sincere confusion crossing his face.
âMaybeâŠhe really doesnât knowâŠScrew it. Once he found out from the others heâd just join them too.â Zero glared daggers at this intruder, no this invader who had the blatancy to believe he could outsmart him after years of dealing with deceivers.
âWhy do they call you Zero, then?â This question struck him, a look of all the feelings he truly felt washed over his entire body. He had been exposed. One question had brought down his entire façade of fury and charade of nonchalance. The boyâs eyes changed at the moment from tender and innocent to experienced and calculating.
âOh God, no.â Tears of fear sprung to Zeroâs eyes. âOh God, heâs really going to hurt me.â The boy inched closer his eyes delving into the darkest depths of his soul and conscience. Zero continued his retreat to the corner of his bed where he began whining softly. âPleaseâŠ,â he whispered, ââŠplease donât make it hurt too bad.â
âIâm not going to harm you, I donât attack the broken. Who or what hurt you?â
Zeroâs eyes went wide at this comment. âHeâŠhe wonâtâŠwhatâŠ?â His head began to feel light and the room moved like a cyclone, or was it him? Nothing made sense, everything was so rapid, there were tearsâŠthat boyâŠwas pain-âŠthat boyâŠwas fe-âŠthat boyâŠthere wasâŠthat boyâŠdarknessâŠ
He collapsed into the boyâs lap. âZero?! Oh crap! Are you okay?!â The boy glanced around desperately. âWhat do I do?! What do I do?! Um! Um! Check vitals!â He rolled Zero onto his back and laid his hand over his heart. âStill beating.â He then brought his ear over Zeroâs mouth. âStill breathing.â Last, he gently pressed his hand against Zeroâs forehead and cheeks. âCool. I guess heâs just fainted.â
He let out a sigh of relief. âNow to get help, but of course, I canât because theyâll just think it was me.â Another sigh, this one of exasperation. He looked at Zero, genuine anguish written on his face, then fell back and found himself propped on a pillow looking down at the unconscious sociopath.
âThat canât be comfortable.â He hooked his arms under Zeroâs and lifted him to lay his limp head over his beating heart. Once he settled themselves, he unmindfully began to run his fingers through the fainted boyâs hair. In such, found himself lost in his own flurry of thoughts.
A Little Over An Hour LaterâŠ
The boy had finally dozed off, but then he felt movement on top of his chest. He opened his eyes to find Zero stirring with a very lost expression on his face.
âWelcome back.â
âUnâŠHunh? Wha- happened?â He tried to sit up and found the room to turn into a whirlwind that brought on excruciating nausea. Instead, he just let his head lay back against the boyâs chest and listened to the rhythmic thud-dum-bump of his heart.
âYou fainted. It looked like you had a nervous breakdown.â
âUghâŠFeels like it tooâŠEverything is spinningâŠreally, really fast,â Zero groaned.
âClose your eyes and focus on something.â So Zero did. He closed his eyes and focused on the heartbeat sounding softly in his head, and soon found himself breathing in time with it.
âWhy did I have a nervous breakdown?â
âI asked why they called you Zero. It seems like you didnât know how to handle that question.â
Zero sighed softly. âI still donât. Why did you stay?â
âI couldnât just leave you here. It would have been wrong.â His heart sped up a little bit at his answer.
Zero smirked. âYouâre not telling the truth.â
âWha-what?!â
âYour heart.â
The boy growled softly. âItâs true, just not all of the truth.â
âWhatâs the rest?â Zero asked, curiosity absorbing his thoughts.
âHahaâŠumâŠâ A faint blush crossed his face.
âHm?â Zero looked up at his protector, and noted the red tint. âWhy are you blushing?â
ââŠâCauseâŠyouâreâŠkindaâŠcuteâŠâ he spoke with visible shyness.
âWhat?!â
âIâm not saying it again!â
âWhateverâŠâ A slight rose coloring his own cheeks. âWow. Just, wow.â
âSo you still havenât answered my question. Why DO they call you Zero?â
âBecause. I have no family. No friends. No thing. Zero attachments, hence Zero.â
âHow come?â
âDoes he really care to know!â A slight shock spread through him, and manifested in a tightening in his chest. âWell, thatâs a story I havenât told to someone else in yearsâŠâ
âIndulge me.â
A deep breath. âOkay. WellâŠmy parents were the victims of a really bad robbery. These guys broke into our house, and were just utterly cruel. They grabbed me and my dad and forced my mom into the room andâŠthey made us watch horrible thingsâŠâ He clutched the boyâs shirt, and felt fingers run through his hair. âWOW-er.â
Another deep breath. âThen they killed her slowly, same for my father. A slow, unending death. They did it all in front of me. They threw my sister un-â He bit his lip to force back a scream. Again the fingers through his hair.
One more deep breath. âI didnât know how to cope. The rest of my family couldnât care for me. They tried for a while, but I ended up doingâŠsome things, and they disowned me. Well, my story got out, and everyone treated me like a leper.â The hand moved down to rubbing his back.
A shudder. âIt was always did you hear what happened to him? Yeah! Did you hear what HE did to handle it? Then
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