Dreams by Olive Schreiner (best books to read for self development TXT) 📖

did not let her see

clearly, and the boat was far from shore, but it seemed almost as if there

was another figure sitting in the stern. Faster and faster it glided over

the water away, away. She ran along the shore; she came no nearer it. The

garment she had held closed fluttered open; she stretched out her arms, and

the moonlight shone on her long loose hair.

 

Then a voice beside her whispered, “What is it?”

 

She cried, “With my blood I bought the best of all gifts for him. I have

come to bring it him! He is going from me!”

 

The voice whispered softly, “Your prayer was answered. It has been given

him.”

 

She cried, “What is it?”

 

The voice answered, “It is that he might leave you.”

 

The girl stood still.

 

Far out at sea the boat was lost to sight beyond the moonlight sheen.

 

The voice spoke softly, “Art thou contented?”

 

She said, “I am contented.”

 

At her feet the waves broke in long ripples softly on the shore.

 

V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT.

 

Under a Mimosa-Tree.

 

As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then I

drew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him and

left him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to left

stretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the heat

beat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And after a

while a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down against my

saddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a curious dream.

 

I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew about

everywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of burden of

the desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched out, and one

stood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay upon the ground,

for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was thick about it, so

that it seemed to have piled over it for centuries.

 

And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me watching.

And I said to him, “What is this huge creature who lies here on the sand?”

 

And he said, “This is woman; she that bears men in her body.”

 

And I said, “Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled round

her?”

 

And he answered, “Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has lain

here, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest man

living has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that she

lay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But listen!

Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded memory of man,

on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of Ancient Customs, now

crumbling to decay, are found the marks of her footsteps! Side by side

with his who stands beside her you may trace them; and you know that she

who now lies there once wandered free over the rocks with him.”

 

And I said, “Why does she lie there now?”

 

And he said, “I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-force

found her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her back

was broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it on with

the broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the earth and

the sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down on the sand

with the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has lain here. And

the ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band of Inevitable

Necessity has not been cut.”

 

And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries;

the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand.

 

And I said, “Has she ever tried to move?”

 

And he said, “Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knows

she cannot rise with the burden on her.”

 

And I said, “Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?”

 

And he said, “He cannot. Look—”

 

And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, and

it bound them together.

 

He said, “While she lies there he must stand and look across the desert.”

 

And I said, “Does he know why he cannot move?”

 

And he said, “No.”

 

And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the band

that bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden rolled

on to the ground.

 

And I said, “What is this?”

 

And he said, “The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The Age-of-nervous-force

has killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; and silently and

invisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that knife of Mechanical

Invention he has cut the band that bound the burden to her back. The

Inevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now.”

 

And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open and

her neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were awake

or asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came into her

eyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room.

 

I said, “What is it?”

 

He whispered “Hush! the thought has come to her, ‘Might I not rise?’”

 

And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dent

where her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and she

looked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he looked

out across the desert.

 

And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth,

and veins stood out; and I cried; “She is going to rise!”

 

But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was.

 

But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside me

said, “She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her so

long.”

 

And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her.

 

And I said, “Surely he who stands beside her will help her?”

 

And he beside me answered, “He cannot help her: she must help herself.

Let her struggle till she is strong.”

 

And I cried, “At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther from

her, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down.”

 

And he answered, “He does not understand. When she moves she draws the

band that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. The

day will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing.

Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close to

her, and look into her eyes with sympathy.”

 

And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the creature

rose an inch from the earth and sank back.

 

And I cried, “Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years have

taken all her strength from her. Can she never move?”

 

And he answered me, “See the light in her eyes!”

 

And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees.

 

And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barren

earth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the red

sand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches of

the tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused over

the dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my saddle.

And in the fierce heat I had another dream.

 

I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to the

bank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of an

African river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deep

shifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn its

gigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white beard;

and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. And

he asked her what she wanted; and she said “I am woman; and I am seeking

for the land of Freedom.”

 

And he said, “It is before you.”

 

And she said, “I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and a bank

steep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them.”

 

And he said, “And beyond that?”

 

She said, “I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my hand,

I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun shining on

them!”

 

He said, “That is the Land of Freedom.”

 

She said, “How am I to get there?”

 

He said, “There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour,

through the water of Suffering. There is no other.”

 

She said, “Is there no bridge?”

 

He answered. “None.”

 

She said, “Is the water deep?”

 

He said, “Deep.”

 

She said, “Is the floor worn?”

 

He said, “It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost.”

 

She said, “Have any crossed already?”

 

He said, “Some have tried!”

 

She said, “Is there a track to show where the best fording is?”

 

He said, “It has to be made.”

 

She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, “I will go.”

 

And he said, “You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: they

are dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed.”

 

And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions she

wore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from her

waist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in a

cloud. And he said, “Take the shoes of dependence off your feet.”

 

And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close to

her.

 

And he said, “That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land of

Freedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims.”

 

And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun had

not often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said,

“Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your hand

you are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot find

a bottom do not set your foot.”

 

And she said, “I am ready; let me go.”

 

And he said, “No—but stay; what is that—in your breast?”

 

She was silent.

 

He said, “Open it, and let me see.”

 

And she opened