Dreams by Olive Schreiner (best books to read for self development TXT) 📖

I walked down the road. The old, old, old tiredness was

gone.

 

Presently there came a peasant boy down the path leading his ass; she had

two large panniers fastened to her sides; and they went down the road

before me.

 

I had never seen him before; but I should have liked to walk by him and to

have held his hand—only, he would not have known why.

 

Alassio, Italy.

 

VIII. LIFE’S GIFTS.

 

I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, and

held in each hand a gift—in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And she

said to the woman, “Choose!”

 

And the woman waited long: and she said, “Freedom!”

 

And Life said, “Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, ‘Love,’ I would

have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone from thee,

and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I shall return.

In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand.”

 

I heard the woman laugh in her sleep.

 

London.

 

IX. THE ARTIST’S SECRET.

 

There was an artist once, and he painted a picture. Other artists had

colours richer and rarer, and painted more notable pictures. He painted

his with one colour, there was a wonderful red glow on it; and the people

went up and down, saying, “We like the picture, we like the glow.”

 

The other artists came and said, “Where does he get his colour from?” They

asked him; and he smiled and said, “I cannot tell you”; and worked on with

his head bent low.

 

And one went to the far East and bought costly pigments, and made a rare

colour and painted, but after a time the picture faded. Another read in

the old books, and made a colour rich and rare, but when he had put it on

the picture it was dead.

 

But the artist painted on. Always the work got redder and redder, and the

artist grew whiter and whiter. At last one day they found him dead before

his picture, and they took him up to bury him. The other men looked about

in all the pots and crucibles, but they found nothing they had not.

 

And when they undressed him to put his grave-clothes on him, they found

above his left breast the mark of a wound—it was an old, old wound, that

must have been there all his life, for the edges were old and hardened; but

Death, who seals all things, had drawn the edges together, and closed it

up.

 

And they buried him. And still the people went about saying, “Where did he

find his colour from?”

 

And it came to pass that after a while the artist was forgotten—but the

work lived.

 

St. Leonards-on-Sea.

 

X. “I THOUGHT I STOOD.”

 

I thought I stood in Heaven before God’s throne, and God asked me what I

had come for. I said I had come to arraign my brother, Man.

 

God said, “What has he done?”

 

I said, “He has taken my sister, Woman, and has stricken her, and wounded

her, and thrust her out into the streets; she lies there prostrate. His

hands are red with blood. I am here to arraign him; that the kingdom be

taken from him, because he is not worthy, and given unto me. My hands are

pure.”

 

I showed them.

 

God said, “Thy hands are pure.—Lift up thy robe.”

 

I raised it; my feet were red, blood-red, as if I had trodden in wine.

 

God said, “How is this?”

 

I said, “Dear Lord, the streets on earth are full of mire. If I should

walk straight on in them my outer robe might be bespotted, you see how

white it is! Therefore I pick my way.”

 

God said, “On what?”

 

I was silent, and I let my robe fall. I wrapped my mantle about my head.

I went out softly. I was afraid that the angels would see me.

 

II.

 

Once more I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and another. We held fast by

one another; we were very tired. We looked up at the great gates; the

angels opened them, and we went in. The mud was on our garments. We

walked across the marble floor, and up to the great throne. Then the

angels divided us. Her, they set upon the top step, but me, upon the

bottom; for, they said, “Last time this woman came here she left red footmarks on the floor; we had to wash them out with our tears. Let her not go

up.”

 

Then she, with whom I came, looked back, and stretched out her hand to me;

and I went and stood beside her. And the angels, they, the shining ones

who never sinned and never suffered, walked by us to and fro and up and

down; I think we should have felt a little lonely there if it had not been

for one another, the angels were so bright.

 

God asked me what I had come for; and I drew my sister forward a little

that he might see her.

 

God said, “How is it you are here together today?”

 

I said, “She was upon the ground in the street, and they passed over her; I

lay down by her, and she put her arms around my neck, and so I lifted her,

and we two rose together.”

 

God said, “Whom are you now come to accuse before me?”

 

I said, “We are come to accuse no man.”

 

And God bent, and said, “My children—what is it that ye seek?”

 

And she beside me drew my hand that I should speak for both.

 

I said, “We have come to ask that thou shouldst speak to Man, our brother,

and give us a message for him that he might understand, and that he

might—”

 

God said, “Go, take the message down to him!”

 

I said, “But what is the message?”

 

God said, “Upon your hearts it is written; take it down to him.”

 

And we turned to go; the angels went with us to the door. They looked at

us.

 

And one said—“Ai! but their dresses are beautiful!”

 

And the other said, “I thought it was mire when they came in, but see, it

is all golden!”

 

But another said, “Hush, it is the light from their faces!”

 

And we went down to him.

 

Alassio, Italy.

 

XI. THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED.

 

In the dark one night I lay upon my bed. I heard the policeman’s feet beat

on the pavement; I heard the wheels of carriages roll home from houses of

entertainment; I heard a woman’s laugh below my window—and then I fell

asleep. And in the dark I dreamt a dream. I dreamt God took my soul to

Hell.

 

Hell was a fair place; the water of the lake was blue.

 

I said to God, “I like this place.”

 

God said, “Ay, dost thou!”

 

Birds sang, turf came to the water-edge, and trees grew from it. Away off

among the trees I saw beautiful women walking. Their clothes were of many

delicate colours and clung to them, and they were tall and graceful and had

yellow hair. Their robes trailed over the grass. They glided in and out

among the trees, and over their heads hung yellow fruit like large pears of

melted gold.

 

I said, “It is very fair; I would go up and taste the—”

 

God said, “Wait.”

 

And after a while I noticed a very fair woman pass: she looked this way

and that, and drew down a branch, and it seemed she kissed the fruit upon

it softly, and went on her way, and her dress made no rustle as she passed

over the grass. And when I saw her no more, from among the stems came

another woman fair as she had been, in a delicate tinted robe; she looked

this way and that. When she saw no one there she drew down the fruit, and

when she had looked over it to find a place, she put her mouth to it

softly, and went away. And I saw other and other women come, making no

noise, and they glided away also over the grass.

 

And I said to God, “What are they doing?”

 

God said, “They are poisoning.”

 

And I said, “How?”

 

God said, “They touch it with their lips, when they have made a tiny wound

in it with their fore-teeth they set in it that which is under their

tongues: they close it with their lip—that no man may see the place, and

pass on.”

 

I said to God, “Why do they do it?”

 

God said, “That another may not eat.”

 

I said to God, “But if they poison all then none dare eat; what do they

gain?”

 

God said, “Nothing.”

 

I said, “Are they not afraid they themselves may bite where another has

bitten?”

 

God said, “They are afraid. In Hell all men fear.”

 

He called me further. And the water of the lake seemed less blue.

 

Then, to the right among the trees were men working. And I said to God, “I

should like to go and work with them. Hell must be a very fruitful place,

the grass is so green.”

 

God said, “Nothing grows in the garden they are making.”

 

We stood looking; and I saw them working among the bushes, digging holes,

but in them they set nothing; and when they had covered them with sticks

and earth each went a way off and sat behind the bushes watching; and I

noticed that as each walked he set his foot down carefully looking where he

trod. I said to God, “What are they doing?”

 

God said, “Making pitfalls into which their fellows may sink.”

 

I said to God, “Why do they do it?”

 

God said, “Because each thinks that when his brother falls he will rise.”

 

I said to God, “How will he rise?”

 

God said, “He will not rise.”

 

And I saw their eyes gleam from behind the bushes.

 

I said to God, “Are these men sane?”

 

God said, “They are not sane; there is no sane man in Hell.”

 

And he told me to come further.

 

And I looked where I trod.

 

And we came where Hell opened into a plain, and a great house stood there.

Marble pillars upheld the roof, and white marble steps let up to it. The

wind of heaven blew through it. Only at the back hung a thick curtain.

Fair men and women there feasted at long tables. They danced, and I saw

the robes of women flutter in the air and heard the laugh of strong men.

What they feasted with was wine; they drew it from large jars which stood

somewhat in the background, and I saw the wine sparkle as they drew it.

 

And I said to God, “I should like to go up and drink.” And God said,

“Wait.” And I saw men coming in to the Banquet House; they came in from

the back and lifted the corner of the curtain at the sides and crept in

quickly; and they let the curtain fall behind them; they bore great jars

they could hardly carry. And the men and women crowded round them, and the

new-comers opened their jars and gave them of the wine to drink; and I saw

that the women drank even more greedily than the