Dreams by Olive Schreiner (best books to read for self development TXT) 📖

“On the side of the wine-press it was dark.”

 

And as we travelled, we came where lay a mighty ridge of sand, and a dark

river ran there; and there rose two vast mounds.

 

I said to God, “They are very mighty.”

 

God said, “Ay, exceeding great.”

 

And I listened.

 

God asked me what I was listening to.

 

And I said, “A sound of weeping, and I hear the sound of strokes, but I

cannot tell whence it comes.”

 

God said, “It is the echo of the wine-press lingering still among the

coping-stones upon the mounds. A banquet-house stood here.”

 

And he called me to come further.

 

Upon a barren hillside, where the soil was arid, God called me to stand

still. And I looked around.

 

God said, “There was a feasting-house here once upon a time.”

 

I said to God, “I see no mark of any!”

 

God said, “There was not left one stone upon another that has not been

thrown down.” And I looked round; and on the hillside was a lonely grave.

 

I said to God, “What lies there?”

 

He said, “A vine truss, bruised in the wine-press!”

 

And at the head of the grave stood a cross, and on its foot lay a crown of

thorns.

 

And as I turned to go, I looked backward. The wine-press and the banquet-house were gone; but the grave yet stood.

 

And when I came to the edge of a long ridge there opened out before me a

wide plain of sand. And when I looked downward I saw great stones lie

shattered; and the desert sand had half covered them over.

 

I said to God, “There is writing on them, but I cannot read it.”

 

And God blew aside the desert sand, and I read the writing: “Weighed in

the balance, and found—” but the last word was wanting.

 

And I said to God, “It was a banquet-house?”

 

God said, “Ay, a banquet-house.”

 

I said, “There was a wine-press here?”

 

God said, “There was a wine-press.”

 

I asked no further question. I was very weary; I shaded my eyes with my

hand, and looked through the pink evening light.

 

Far off, across the sand, I saw two figures standing. With wings upfolded

high above their heads, and stern faces set, neither man nor beast, they

looked out across the desert sand, watching, watching, watching! I did not

ask God what they were, for I knew what the answer would be.

 

And, further and yet further, in the evening light, I looked with my shaded

eyes.

 

Far off, where the sands were thick and heavy, I saw a solitary pillar

standing: the crown had fallen, and the sand had buried it. On the broken

pillar sat a grey owl-of-the-desert, with folded wings; and in the evening

light I saw the desert fox creep past it, trailing his brush across the

sand.

 

Further, yet further, as I looked across the desert, I saw the sand

gathered into heaps as though it covered something.

 

I cried to God, “Oh, I am so weary.”

 

God said, “You have seen only one half of Hell.”

 

I said, “I cannot see more, I am afraid of Hell. In my own narrow little

path I dare not walk because I think that one has dug a pitfall for me; and

if I put my hand to take a fruit I draw it back again because I think it

has been kissed already. If I look out across the plains, the mounds are

burial heaps; and when I pass among the stones I hear them crying aloud.

When I see men dancing I hear the time beaten in with sobs; and their wine

is living! Oh, I cannot bear Hell!”

 

God said, “Where will you go?”

 

I said “To the earth from which I came; it was better there.”

 

And God laughed at me; and I wondered why he laughed.

 

God said, “Come, and I will show you Heaven.”

 

…

 

And partly I awoke. It was still and dark; the sound of the carriages had

died in the street; the woman who laughed was gone; and the policeman’s

tread was heard no more. In the dark it seemed as if a great hand lay upon

my heart, and crushed it. I tried to breathe and tossed from side to side;

and then again I fell asleep, and dreamed.

 

God took me to the edge of that world. It ended. I looked down. The

gulf, it seemed to me, was fathomless, and then I saw two bridges crossing

it that both sloped upwards.

 

I said to God, “Is there no other way by which men cross it?”

 

God said, “One; it rises far from here and slopes straight upwards.

 

I asked God what the bridges’ names were.

 

God said, “What matter for the names? Call them the Good, the True, the

Beautiful, if you will—you will yet not understand them.”

 

I asked God how it was I could not see the third.

 

God said, “It is seen only by those who climb it.”

 

I said, “Do they all lead to one heaven?”

 

God said, “All Heaven is one: nevertheless some parts are higher than

others; those who reach the higher may always go down to rest in the lower;

but those in the lower may not have strength to climb to the higher;

nevertheless the light is all one.”

 

And I saw over the bridge nearest me, which was wider than the other,

countless footmarks go. I asked God why so many went over it.

 

God said, “It slopes less deeply, and leads to the first heaven.”

 

And I saw that some of the footmarks were of feet returning. I asked God

how it was.

 

He said, “No man who has once entered Heaven ever leaves it; but some, when

they have gone half way, turn back, because they are afraid there is no

land beyond.”

 

I said, “Has none ever returned?”

 

God said, “No; once in Heaven always in Heaven.”

 

And God took me over. And when we came to one of the great doors—for

Heaven has more doors than one, and they are all open—the posts rose up so

high on either side I could not see the top, nor indeed if there were any.

 

And it seemed to me so wide that all Hell could go in through it.

 

I said to God, “Which is the larger, Heaven or Hell?”

 

God said, “Hell is as wide, but Heaven is deeper. All Hell could be

engulfed in Heaven, but all Heaven could not be engulfed in Hell.”

 

And we entered. It was a still great land. The mountains rose on every

hand, and there was a pale clear light; and I saw it came from the rocks

and stones. I asked God how it was.

 

But God did not answer me.

 

I looked and wondered, for I had thought Heaven would be otherwise. And

after a while it began to grow brighter, as if the day were breaking, and I

asked God if the sun were not going to rise.

 

God said, “No; we are coming to where the people are.”

 

And as we went on it grew brighter and brighter till it was burning day;

and on the rock were flowers blooming, and trees blossomed at the roadside;

and streams of water ran everywhere, and I heard the birds singing; I asked

God where they were.

 

God said, “It is the people calling to one another.”

 

And when we came nearer I saw them walking, and they shone as they walked.

I asked God how it was they wore no covering.

 

God said, “Because all their body gives the light; they dare not cover any

part.”

 

And I asked God what they were doing.

 

God said, “Shining on the plants that they may grow.”

 

And I saw that some were working in companies, and some alone, but most

were in twos, sometimes two men and sometimes two women; but generally

there was one man and one woman; and I asked God how it was.

 

God said, “When one man and one woman shine together, it makes the most

perfect light. Many plants need that for their growing. Nevertheless,

there are more kinds of plants in Heaven than one, and they need many kinds

of light.”

 

And one from among the people came running towards me; and when he came

near it seemed to me that he and I had played together when we were little

children, and that we had been born on the same day. And I told God what I

felt; God said, “All men feel so in Heaven when another comes towards

them.”

 

And he who ran towards me held my hand, and led me through the bright

lights. And when we came among the trees he sang aloud, and his companion

answered, and it was a woman, and he showed me to her. She said, “He must

have water”; and she took some in her hands, and fed me (I had been afraid

to drink of the water in Hell), and they gathered fruit for me, and gave it

me to eat. They said, “We shone long to make it ripen,” and they laughed

together as they saw me eat it.

 

The man said, “He is very weary; he must sleep” (for I had not dared to

sleep in Hell), and he laid my head on his companion’s knee and spread her

hair out over me. I slept, and all the while in my sleep I thought I heard

the birds calling across me. And when I woke it was like early morning,

with the dew on everything.

 

And the man took my hand and led me to a hidden spot among the rocks. The

ground was very hard, but out of it were sprouting tiny plants, and there

was a little stream running. He said, “This is a garden we are making, no

one else knows of it. We shine here every day; see, the ground has cracked

with our shining, and this little stream is bursting out. See, the flowers

are growing.”

 

And he climbed on the rocks and picked from above two little flowers with

dew on them, and gave them to me. And I took one in each hand; my hands

shone as I held them. He said, “This garden is for all when it is

finished.” And he went away to his companion, and I went out into the

great pathway.

 

And as I walked in the light I heard a loud sound of much singing. And

when I came nearer I saw one with closed eyes, singing, and his fellows

were standing round him; and the light on the closed eyes was brighter than

anything I had seen in Heaven. I asked one who it was. And he said,

“Hush! Our singing bird.”

 

And I asked why the eyes shone so.

 

And he said, “They cannot see, and we have kissed them till they shone so.”

 

And the people gathered closer round him.

 

And when I went a little further I saw a crowd crossing among the trees of

light with great laughter. When they came close I saw they carried one

without hands or feet. And a light came from the maimed limbs so bright

that I could not look at them.

 

And I said to one, “What is it?”

 

He answered, “This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and