Wild Bastard by Ella Savitskaya (best feel good books txt) 📖

"Why did you put me in an orphanage?"

Leaning back in his leather chair, "Daddy" indifferently shrugs his shoulders.

"I didn't need you. Your mother died some time after you were born. I offered her an abortion, but the silly girl refused, assuring me that she would raise the child herself. I didn't care how she was going to deal with you, but when I was confronted with the fact that I got you, I knew I didn't want it. I was in trouble with the law at the time, which caused me to have to change my life drastically. And a hookup in the form of a baby would only complicate things."

He said it so simply, as if he were talking not about living people, but about the movie he'd seen the other day. No compassion in his voice, no guilt. Nothing at all. I had been nothing to him since I was born. An empty place that he wanted to get rid of even before I was born.

The slab on my chest grows unbearably large, making my throat feel scratchy and knotty. I yank the doorknob sharply, almost crashing into Matthew as I head for the exit.

"Wait for me in the car" I hear from behind me, but I can barely hear.

I am carried forward, suffocating, destroying.

I had suspected from the beginning the possible reasons for his action, but the hope left at the bottom of Pandora's box gave me the incentive to breathe and wait, that maybe one day I would hear that my own father needed me. That by the final chords of the family melodrama I would be embraced and told that everything was a mistake, I was wanted, and now things would be different. But happy family reunions only happen in movies.

The facades of luxury apartments with perfect lawns flash by, and I stroll forward along the path, almost unable to see anything from the veil of tears. They flow treacherously down my cheeks, though I try very hard to wipe them away with my palms. The socks of my old sneakers are blurred in a smudge. It's amazing what pain can be caused by the person you see for the first time in your life....