When A Bully Falls In Love by Valerie Sax (good books to read for women TXT) 📖

Chapter 11: Patience and Pain

 

~Xander~

 

Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...

My mind was so much like the ocean; I watched for the incoming ships of my thoughts drowning inside me.

Is she going to be okay? What the heck were doctors doing with her? 

Why is there no information about her? How long are they going to take? I was continuously burning in anguish, and that troublesome moment didn’t let me rest for a second. 

But when I ask myself why this unsettled anger and on whom? Something told me it was me. Why didn’t I reach on time? Why was I not there to protect her?

And the essential thing; Who the hell did this thing to her?

That person would be dead from my hand. 

I will drown him the same way.

On the next thought, I literally planned the slow death of that unknown person who tried to kill her.

I was in constant pain at the thought of losing her. My body reacted the same as I thought; I punched the wall and threatened the doctors and the hospital staff to save her.

When Matt tried to confront me, I didn’t accept my behavior.

Is it my ego or arrogance that doesn’t want me to accept what I am feeling inside? I am Xander Baston, the womanizer. How could this small thing affect me so much? What’s so special about this girl that’s driving me crazy?

My head was busting with the cannons of thoughts.

I was roaming in the hallway like a mad elephant and went out to get some fresh air, but whenever I closed my eyes, I felt her presence; I saw her unconscious body in my arms.

This will not work. Hastily, I sprinted towards my car and opened the whiskey bottle to drown my pain, but it didn’t help either.

“Aggghhh,” I smashed the bottle on the floor, making a few strangers turn their heads towards me.

I walked back and saw the same doctor talking to Matt.

When he saw me, he slithers himself in ICU.

“What he said? Is she okay?” I asked, without realizing how I would justify my actions to Matty.

Matt tried to grab that doctor again.

“Are you drunk? Did you just....” Matt questioned me.

“What is going on, Xander? Why are you behaving like this? Is there something you want to tell me?”

His questions were right on target. After all, he is my best friend.

But accepting anything was not my nature. I mean, how could I?

I rolled my eyes, ignoring this bullshit.

“How is she?” I jeered under the influence of alcohol.

Matt didn’t answer me. He looked at me with a blank face as he crossed his hands on his chest. I pressed my lips in frustration. I was tired of his silly games.

“Okay, if you can’t answer. I have to drag that doctor out,” I answered angrily.

In a blink of a second, I walked to open the ICU door.

“Stop, she is fine.” He answered.

“Let’s go out. We need to talk.” He grabbed my arm and took me out.

We reached the parking area where we could talk, as I could feel his anger wanting to burst on me.

“Do you love her?” He asked me directly in his flat tone.

But how could I accept it when I knew nothing about myself?

“No, I don’t give a damn about her,” I answered.

“Seriously? Then why are you behaving like this?”

An empty silence, and we are looking at each other blankly. 

He needed answers, which I was not willing to spill.

“I don’t want anyone to die on me. Do you get that?”

Maybe I was stupid enough to think that being under the influence of alcohol could hide my concern, but it enhanced it.

“So you are worried; she will die, and we will blame you for this?” He snorted. I bit my tongue and crushed my jawline, controlling my unease.

“You really need to fix your mind. Xan, you are a mess. Your behavior will not change her situation.”

I knew he was right, and I was wrong about her. I lowered my peer. I didn’t want to show the storm bubbling inside me, thinking of her dying on me. Yes, I am a bully, but I never wanted someone to die for me.

I backed.

 “And don’t worry, she will not die today,”

That was a big piece of news for me. I didn’t know he was observing the change of expression on my face. 

“What?”

He stopped, facing his back towards me.

“She is out of danger, but unconscious. Maybe in the morning we can talk to her.” I repeatedly pulled up my blank face to pretend this news was nothing for me.

“Stop lying and accept what you are feeling for her. It will not make you a bad person. Xan.” 

His words teased me as he left the place finally.

******

 

~Aoife~

 

It felt like I’d been asleep for years as I tried to open my eyes. I couldn’t remember anything but the light stroking my eyes.

I continued to work to open my eyes as I felt something touching my cheeks.

I did not know where I was until I heard the beep beep beep of the machines. I wanted to open my heavy eyes and try hard to remember what had happened to me in the last moments before somebody pushed me into the pool. 

But the caressing on my cheeks didn’t stop. It was gentle and caring. But who could touch me like that?

The silhouette took shape when I saw that the hand belonged to none other than Xander. A whimper came from my throat when I tried to back my neck from his touch. The relaxing face wrinkled in fear.

“How are you?” Is he asking me, or am I dreaming?

“Do you need anything?” He whispered, continuing to touch my cheeks. He would be the last person I expected to see. But what was he doing here?

“I am better,” I answered, jerking my neck away from his touch. I tried to sit by myself. He stood and tried to help me, but I stopped him.

“I can do that. Thank you.” I answered. I didn’t want to see him after what he did to me. 

Suddenly, the door opened, and I saw Matt enter the room.

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