Flowers by Nichole Hall (best life changing books txt) 📖

only nod, because undeniably I want to know and secondly, she will stick through with her unspoken threat. “Your mother called today.” An emptiness fills my stomach. If she had my grandmother’s cell number, she definitely could have mine. Yet, she didn’t call me directly. I am still a burden to her, even after four years of freedom. “This isn’t the first time she has called me to check up on you Willow, I want you to know that. It is, however, the first time she has acted in her real selfish form. As of last month Willow, your mother signed over her guardianship to me. I know, it seems a little late to do this considering your eighteenth birthday is just two months away, but it has been done. She called today, to let me know it has been finalized.” This time, I let out the tears willingly. A range of emotions overwhelm me, sadness, hate, fury, but also happiness and relief. At least one person in this world wants me around, and I have to be grateful for that, no matter the meaning of how we got here in the first place. 

“How you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Honestly, all over the place. Today has been...a really emotional day for me.”

“Something happen at school?”

Yes. “No.” Grandma takes a seat, pulling me into a hug where I let out all of my years of frustration and tears caused by the person who gave me birth into this world. “Grandma, are you sure you are okay with this?” Grandma pulls me back in pure fierceness. 

“Willow Alexandria Hart, how dare you think so little of yourself. Not only are you my blood, you are my last connection to my son and therefore to me. Don’t you ever think that you do not belong in my home with me. Ya understand?”

“Okay.” But it’s not, not really. 

After most of the tears subsided, I grabbed my glass of lemonade taking it to my room. Grandma has knitting club tonight, in which I insisted she still attend. My mother has wreaked enough havoc into our lives, no reason to let her miss this day that my grandmother loves. 

The door shuts softly a few hours later, where I have remained in my bed staring at my far empty wall. The pain is still there, so are the water works. It really begins to piss me off. Why should I care when my mother so obviously doesn’t? Why do I even feel so much pain with just the thought of her? That’s the problem, feeling. I don’t want to feel the bad pain anymore. I want the good kind. I want Kevin.

Running out of my room, grabbing my backpack and then discarding it again once I’ve reached the item I have been looking for, I start pacing. No thinking Willow, just do it. And I do.

Is the offer still on the table for tonight? 

I wait a few minutes for a return text. My nerves kick until my phone vibrates.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Amazingly, I had no hesitation with that last text. My phone starts singing and I throw it caught off guard. I catch it before hitting the ground and answer.

“Willow.” No hello. “Are you sure?” His breathing is hitched, and no matter our everyday fights, I know he wants me just as much as I want him.

“Yes.” 

“You know my rules, no relationships.”

“I don’t want one, either Kevin. I just need to forget, will you give me that?” Unsure about how much of it is a lie of not wanting a relationship and how much is true, I go with it. He did warn me, and that’s all there is to it. If I fall for Kevin, God help me if I do, than that will be my problem to deal with. Right now, I just need him and his body.

“I’m leaving right now.” 

I stare at the phone in shock for a full sixty seconds. My mind kicks into gear and I run towards the shower to clean up. Kevin is coming to get me to help me forget. I need this, but I also crave him like nothing before. My body hums with excitement. No fear, no terror, no worry. All bad things exit. This has to be my best idea yet.

****

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?”

Only you. “Some water.”

This is not how I planned the night would go. The anticipation in the car was near unbearable. Both of us stayed quiet, but the adrenaline rush pounded through me. Kevin stayed still as a statue, driving in the quiet night. Humidity permeated the night air. The only break from sweating was the air conditioner in both his car and his ginormous house. Now here we sit, in the den where he flipped out the first time and broke a glass cup. Where everything first started, that was only two weeks ago. Time flies and yet I felt I knew nothing about him other than the fact that grandma has no problem with me hanging out with him. That she trusts him for some reason and believes he can help me. Well, he can. Just not in the way she wants. Instead all this buying time is making me lose confidence. The lost of confidence will make me back out, and then I will go home and cry. Yeah, not going to happen.

When Kevin brings over the water bottle and nothing else, I take it and throw it across the room. It lands softly against the leather couch. Not really the effect I was going for, but it will do. He arches his eyebrow in response. 

“Kevin.”

“Willow.”

“Stop stalling.”

Strong arms pull me from the seat. The next thing I know, my legs wrap around his waist in a tight fit, keeping him close to me. Eye to eye, my breathing comes out in quick sporadic movements. His lips barely graze mine, not a full kiss, not even a peck. Just a graze. It sends my body into haywire, sending off electric shocks in between my thighs pulling our bodies closer. 

“I.” A quick peck. “Am.” Another. “Not.” This one just a second longer. “Stalling.” Our lips collide, my eyes close and my hands find his short hair pulling his head closer to mine. Inching back just a little, his tongue swipes across my upper lip asking for entrance. I give it to him. Our tongues mesh in some sort of dance, a moan slips out so feral it took more kissing to realize I kept making those noises. He wasn’t quiet either. I feel movement underneath. Kevin walks us up the stairs, but we never break contact. I feel myself soaking underneath my jeans unto my lacy booty shorts. Playing with myself doesn’t measure to this amount of want and need. Just his kissing has me aching for more. A door shuts and locks, my back is pushed against a wall. 

One of his hands grip my bottom, squeezing it. The other softly caresses my chin, in a firm but gentle squeeze he moves my face away from his. Slowly trailing kisses along side my jaw, he pulls me closer. The bulge in his pants calls out my name. I grind my pelvis along his erection, groaning the whole time. Kevin’s teeth find my ear and nibble with enough pressure to make me cry out. 

Next thing I know we are on the bed with Kevin on top of me. My legs are still wrapped around him as he slides a hand inside my shirt, his other hand joins and soon I’m in only a bra and jeans. I lost my sandals somewhere along the journey to his bedroom. There’s some movement on the bed before a click and light illuminating the room. Kevin crawls back on top, with a leg on each side of my hip bones eating up my body in his gaze. Those hazel eyes sparkle, trailing up and down in slow, unhurried fashion. 

“Willow...” There’s uncertainty in there, almost like he knows. It is Kevin though, and he is a watcher. Unknowing to other people, Kevin stays quiet but sees everything around us. Just his conversations prove it. No one else caught on or doesn’t care, but he knows.

“How do you know?”

“I just know.” 

Not wanting any other ways to defect me, my arms move from my sides and slither up Kevin’s stomach. Inch by inch his shirt creeps up as my fingers glide along his abs. Our eyes never break from each other. Only when the shirt is pulled over his head we lose contact. Once his gaze penetrates my own again, do I speak.

“I’m sure, Kevin.”

Quickly our mouths are dancing again and in one quick movement my bra is snapped and off. His tongue and lips break away once more, slithering down my neck to the crevice between my breasts. Watching him dance around sends thrills all along my body, my harsh breathing has returned, but disappears underneath Kevin’s body. Still his mouth lowers until it has reached the button of my jeans. Kevin looks up asking for permission, I shake my head yes. Once the jeans are unsnapped and pulled down, Kevin follows suit for his own state of undress. Now with both of us naked, Kevin crawls up, one hand staying turning circles on my spot, another tangled up in my hair as we once again begin kissing. A tension builds up inside, so good, so much better than anything I have ever done to myself. 

“It’s going to hurt. I am going to make it quick to hurt less, okay?”

My response is bunch of blubbering incoherent words. A drawer slams, a packet is ripped and Kevin replaces his hand with something much larger. I swallow, hoping it doesn’t hurt too much. When my eyes lock with his, he pushes in. There’s a slight pop that goes unheard underneath my screams. The pain shoots out every orifice of my body, but I want to continue. Kevin reenters slowly and deeper this time, I let out another scream, but this time of ecstasy. The pace continues until the pounding inside is asking for more, causing me to scream at Kevin, “faster” and “harder.” Our bodies intermingle with sweat. The tension builds up, even larger this time. It asks for release, begging for it. I squeeze my pelvic bone creating more and more, getting me closer and closer. My legs are still wrapped around Kevin when I pull his face down to mine. Just as our mouths close together, it hits and his mouth catches my scream of release. Kevin follows two pumps later as the aftershocks send me into another downward spiral. 

It takes a few minutes to calm down our breathing. Kevin still lays with his head between my shoulder and my neck. Giving a gentle bite, he pulls up and out. When he does, my eyes go wide. Blood. Not a lot, but not a small amount either.

“It’s alright. Happens when you get cherry popped.” Kevin laughs while winking. I grab the pillow behind my head aiming it towards his face. This is the Kevin I know. The one who purposely pisses me off. “Come on, let’s take a shower.”

Showering sore in hot steam helps with the aches. I didn’t realize how many muscles are used during sex. No wonder people say sexercise is the best work out. Kevin showered with me. When it came to cleaning the blood off, he saw my hesitation, taking the body wash out of my hands and lathering his own. As the soap bubbles and his fingers made contact causing my whole body to flinch, Kevin sent a flutter of kisses along my stomach as he massaged the area. Soon afterwards it no longer hurt and I was moaning from the touch. After that we both scrambled out of the shower like hell on our heels only to make it to the carpeted floor. This time, I was on top.