Listen to Him - It's Just as Important as Talking. by Keyla (guided reading books txt) 📖

While some days are just plain and insipid, others are so eventful that we just lose track of the things that happened. Nevertheless there’s always these days, in between, where it’s neither dull nor exciting; but filled with these small things that we, more often than not, tend to overlook.

However, when you think of it in depth, you realize that there’s more to it than you actually thought. When you analyze that small thing, when you apply reason to that; sometimes you make extraordinary discoveries. Perhaps some life lesson or any profound realizations. Whatever it is, at the end of the day we arrive to the conclusion that giving thought to that small thing was fruitful after all.

Anyway, something of the sort happened to me recently, and I wanted to share it with you folks.

Couple of days ago I had a rather asinine dream about a bunch of apples and grapes. I know silly hah? At any rate I narrated this stupid dream to my father, laughing about it all the while. As I was finishing the story, I remembered another dream I had which was just as ridiculous and comical as the first one. It was about a genie taking a bath (I have this susceptibility to have nonsensical and utterly foolish dreams). So as I was about to tell my dad this dream as well, he stopped me and told me he didn’t wanna listen to my silly dreams.

While it is absolutely normal to say such a thing, –I mean who would spend their time listening to such stupid things- I felt like I’ve been smacked in the face. I know, you guys are probably thinking why I got so upset about something so trivial. I don’t know why, but I felt a wee bit hurt that my dad didn’t listen to my prattle. The thing of it was I pleaded with my dad to listen but he didn’t. Perhaps he didn’t think I was being serious.

So what this stupid story ultimately comes down to is relationships. My always husband-conscious mind, which is on full-alert these days, swiftly related this situation into a circumstance involving couples. As always I put myself in that position to give it some thought. Me being the wife of course!

I thought that if my husband had told me that he didn’t want to listen to me, let it be a serious matter or a stupid dream, I would’ve been hurt very much, would’ve been hurt thoroughly indeed. I thought that if he doesn’t wanna hear me out, it means that he’s not interested in me; he no longer cares for me. Then I wondered what justifies such an action. What rationalizes such lack of gusto? Know what I mean ladies?

However, I came up with many lucid, cogent explanations to such behavior. Perhaps he had had a horrible day at work, or he’s in a bad mood because his boss yelled at him for no reason, or he’s in the middle of doing something he really enjoys, or he’s not in the mood to cuddle his wife and listen to her problems because he’s so sleepy, or he’s just tired. There could be a number of things that made him to be in the doldrums.

Then I thought would I have listened to a stupid thing he wants to tell me, or any subject for that matter that’s not of any interest to me. Definitely I would. How do I know this? I know this because I almost always listen to my friends, without talking all over them. When my friends keep on ranting about something I just listen, unwillingly sometimes, still I listen. If the subject is anything that interests me, then no problem because I can pitch in. if it’s not I just hear them out, whatever it is.

Well, I do this since I know how it feels when someone doesn’t want to listen to what I have to say. Not to sound pompous or full of myself, but something that’s good and I like about myself is, that I normally put myself in the other person’s shoes. Not always but most of the time I try to think what the other might be feeling.

With my friends, when they tell me something, even if I can’t provide any solutions to their problems, I just listen; because I know how valuable that is and how much it means to a person when there’s some big trouble. That mental strength, that emotional support is just priceless. I know this because I myself have been in some deep shit. And I know how lonely I felt during those times; desperately wanting someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on. For a long time I didn’t have anybody to share my feelings. Eventually, I found a friend who sort of became an angel for me during those dark times. Even though we’re not frequently in contact with each other, now after school, I still cherish her memory. Still cherish that psychological strength she offered when I most needed it. I guess I forever will. Thus, with that knowledge, knowing how valuable that is, I just listen to my friends; however much mind-numbing that is at times.

Anyway, coming back to the subject at hand, if my husband doesn’t listen to me, I should try to think from his point of view. However much wearisome or impossible that may sound; I should consider what his problems are. What he may be suffering from. Is he going through some serious trouble he’s not telling me about? Is he having problems with somebody else? Or has he just had a bad day? I should be as loving and caring as humanly possible. If there’s actually something he’s not telling me about, I should make him comfortable enough to share it with me. I should make him realize that I’m open to communication always, whatever the subject is. And I mean “whatever”.

So you see guys, even a very trifling thing that happens in our day to day life could take us in the path of profound realizations, self-discoveries about life or about ourselves.

By the way, I get hurt too often, much too often –even for silly things- because of my hypersensitiveness. I should probably work on that. My oversensitive self gets into hot water many a times. Then again, that very thing is what makes me compassionate and loving as I am. But it also makes me too venerable. Well, like in every good thing there’s a bad thing. And as my wise brother says, every subject has its advantages as well as its disadvantages.

Well, folks, here after look twice at the things that passes you every single day. Good luck on your path to self-discovery.

Publication Date: 11-01-2011

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