Guity until proven innocent by Cama seeney, Monique x (howl and other poems .TXT) 📖

 Meal two - can I stomach more salad?

I slowly scrubbed myself and my salt filled hair. The sting from the sea still coated me, After I had washed I quickly brushed my teeth and hair – braiding it as I went in search of the pink muscle bandages I used when I had sprained my ankle. I found them in my pants draw – which kinda freaked me out, the thought of someone ruffling through my underwear draw to pack them. I sighed and quickly applied bandages to both hands, eventually minuets till seven I walked the short distance to the cafeteria.

I saw Cam almost immediately as I walked into the room, he stood next to his pain in the ass brother. He waved me over – nerve wracked I skipped about ten people in the line. ‘Erm in some countries people get murdered for skipping lines.’ I murmured quietly as I looked back at the angry people behind me. ‘Well at least you would be eating right.’ He told me grinning like an idiot. ‘Please tell me it wasn’t too much of a problem for them to cook wheat free?’ I half whispered biting my lip. ‘Stop being an idiot – it’s their job.’ He told me rolling his eyes. ‘Their job is to cook for delinquents not  some rich girl who moans about a belly ache!’ I retorted. ‘If it was such a little problem, why are you taking these?’ He asked waving an antispasmodic. ‘Because I have a trapped nerve, every time I eat wheat it makes it like ten times worse!’

I replied snatching away the pill and swallowing it before anyone saw. ‘Then why did you steal some of lincolons sandwich earlier? He spent most of fucking lunch moaning about it’ He asked leaning in generally interested. ‘Because he was being judgemental, pretentious prick’ I told him dead pan. He chuckled and moved up to the counter and collected his stir-fry. He passed me a plate ‘don’t worry it’s fun free’.

He told me smiling, he also grabbed two fruit bowls and two smoothies. ‘I can’t believe I have to be training at six.’ I moaned slumping into a chair opposite Lilly, Cam sat next to me and handed me my food. ‘Not only do you have to watch me take my meds but my food too, what am I going to do – starve myself?’ I said exasperated. ‘What if I just wanted to know more about you before I drown you some more.’ He said smiling his stupidly cute smile. ‘So they do think I’m suicidal, sweet.’ I said putting my head on the table in annoyance.

‘No they think you’re temperamental, which you’ll prove to them if you don’t take you meds, eat your food and don’t break the rules. Rule breakers don’t last long here Rose. They never have.’ He whispered close to my head, I sat up and started eating the stir fry. I’m sure it didn’t taste all that bad but all I could taste was burnt ash in the back of my throat. I finished every bit, filling my empty body with food. I even ate all the fruit in silence. After force-feeding myself I began drinking the smoothie – which I had to admit though was really nice.

‘I hope there are more smoothies in the future that was really nice, thank you.’ I murmured to Cam smiling softly. ‘Thanks, I can show you how to make them if you want?’ He offered kindly but I yawned and shook my head sadly ‘Any second I’m going to crash out and I’d rather not have noodles for hair. But thank you.’ I said as I took my plate and bowl to the collecting area. I kept hold of the plastic drinking cup that held my smoothie, yawning a final time I made my slow and painful way back to the dorm. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a shot.

I woke to a kind of weird vibrating happening on my arm - 5.45 am, Thursday.  I groaned and rolled out of bed. ‘They think you’re temperamental, which you’ll prove…’ No I won’t. I rolled out of bed and shoved another pair of shorts on, and another black sports top. My hair was still braided from last night so I jogged quietly down the two staircases, logging in on the machine I jogged my sore muscles back to the main gym, I found Cam standing with weights all around his feat. ‘Remind me why I haven’t already drank a metric shit tonne of coffee!’ I called as I entered the room yawning. And stretching. He threw a ten pound medicine ball at me, barely catching it I looked at him confused. ‘Caffeine slows down your metabolism. You said you were good at sit ups right why them and not press ups.’ He asked as I sat in the sit up position. I threw the ball went down and caught it on the way up. ‘Because I feel relaxed. I can easily turn my ration thinking off, it’s like I know I can do it and I know I won’t fall or anything so it’s fine.’ I replied honestly.

‘Right you like them because you’re safe.’ He said smiling mischievously ‘twenty more and you’re done.’ He told me after I’d done ten. I hummed quietly to myself already feeling the tightening and pulling of muscles in my abdomen. I felt like someone had grabbed two halves of my body and pulled them until something broke. ‘Right pick up ten kg and show me how to lift it.’ He said pointing at one of the smaller bars with smaller weight attached. I picked up one and put my arm by my side before lifting just my fore arm to the height of my shoulder. ‘Good now pick up the other and do the same.’ I did as he said a completed a couple ‘reps’. ‘Right now I need you to imagine there’s a line in the top of your head reading the top of the ceiling, this line however goes the whole way through your body keeping you up straight.

I want you to also keep your elbows to your higher hip, as if you’re a penguin wobbling along. Like you smell bad or something.’ He told me and as hard as I tried my arms kept slipping forward, sighing he placed his hands on either side of my arms keeping them in place as I did ten. And even with the small weight. ‘This sucks.’ I moaned yawning again. ‘Jump squat, burpee and a star jump’ He said looking at me amused. I grinned and did five of each feeling much more awake and my legs begging to ache pleasantly. ‘How’d you sleep?’ He asked politely. ‘I went into my room and just slept – It was great, I suffer from insomnia so I was surprised.’ I told him stretching my already awake limbs. ‘Jeez why did I get the chick with all the athletic problems’ He said teasing me. I stuck out my tong before standing on one leg and wobbling slightly.

‘Oh and a little uncoordinated.’ He said chuckling softly. ‘You placed third in the bleep test. How are you at short sprints?’ He asked tilting his head to the side. ‘I’m quick in short bursts but not the quickest.’ I said, ‘Paul beat me at the bleep and the last final run. Even though I was ahead of him. ‘One has a guy, two longer legs, three he’s probably related to Usain bolt and four I wasn’t asking about him – I was asking you what you thought of yourself. I nodded and thought for a second as I bent to touch my feet. ‘Well he wouldn’t have just one long leg now would he?’

‘I used to jog and take off running randomly, I liked the feel of my heart suddenly accelerating and then slowing slightly. But after a while even my heart slowed down giving me less of a thrill – I think if I can get that thrill back I’d be much better than I am.’ I said after a longer thought. ‘Think of it this way then. Every time you run, you’re proving them wrong, thus not allowing them to extend your stay. Think of them like mean guards, bored and lonely. They want your company, the only way you’re going to get out is?’ He asked taking out an IPod from his pocket. He placed it in the speaker thing and a rock band I’d heard before came on. It wasn’t commercial or ‘popular’ but the lead singer didn’t sound like he’d smoked fifty cigarettes before singing either. He was one of the good ones who sing loudly but have amazing voices anyway.

‘Every time you run I want you to count. And listen for the bleep but you’re not against the noise. You’re against your own number. I nodded and jogged into place.

Numbers that fill my mind

I ran as Cam shouted out 'Ten.’ Ten what? I was running a sixteen second run? ‘Other side now - you have ten seconds - go, go, go!’ He called out again. This lasted for about ten minutes, me running to the beep and him shouting out how long he wanted it to take me to run to the other side. ‘Stop!’ He called out suddenly. I slid to a stop nearly falling arse over tit. ‘You’re last run was half a second faster than your fastest time, recorded yesterday.’ He told smiling. ‘Why did you stop me then?’ I asked panting. ‘Cause you have like ten minutes to change.’ He told me glancing at his watch, I nodded and caught the smoothie he threw at me – I’d given him the old cup from yesterday a little whole ago.

I screwed off the lid and gulped half of the bottle in record time, the smooth cold drink. The taste was bazaar but wonderful. ‘Please don’t tell me what’s in here, it tastes so good I don’t want to know if something like raw eggs are in there.’ I said as I began walking out of the room. ‘Rose.’ He called after me, I turned my head waiting for a response. ‘It’s all natural fruit and some honey.’ I smiled and started jogging to my room. It took me five minutes to change my clothes, I left my room and began upbraiding my hair. I don’t quite remember when I’d braided it but it was curly now.

I reached the hall with minuets to spare, pulling my uniform into place. People were grabbing a plate of toasts, eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes and beans and if wanted a bowl of cereal or piece of fruit. Cam sat alone as he saw me he nodded to a spare tray of food. I walked over slowly as I finished my drink. I