behind these eyes by lexx (fiction book recommendations .txt) 📖

okay, i glanced up and Ryan who was looking down at me, and giggled trying to hide my face. He pulled my hands away from my face and kissed me lightly. I smiled widely but stopped when i glanced over and Harley bed. his Empty bed, i flipped away from Ryan and cried quietly, He reached over and wiped my tears. Resting his head on the crest of my neck and sighed lightly, 'its okay baby girl' he whispered. I shook my head. No , it wasn't okay and it wouldn't be okay. My life is so completely empty without my furry four legged best friend at my side. I stood up " im getting in the shower ". Ryan looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, i hated being so snappy at him, but i just can't help but feel sad and hurt lately. I picked up my clothes and walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. "ill be back" i heard Ryan reply and before i could protest i heard my bedroom door open then shut and then the front door along with his car starting. i sighed* turned on the shower and climbed in sitting on the floor and letting the water hit me roughly


-Ryan's pov-

After Amanda got in the shower i decided to make a phone call to a husky breeder i knew. I climbed into my car and drove up to his kennel up near the mountains. He instantly greeted me and i told him about everything that happened with Amanda, and Harley. He sighed "rough start for such a cool chick" he replied. I nodded. Then with a huge grin he said 'i think i might be able to help you" i followed shortly behind him, we walked up to this pasture and walked into a large pen, he whistled loudly and this gorgeous wolf/husky mix came running towards us, he was HUGE. at least twice Harley's size and he was gorgeous with a deep red and white color. Shane smiled "isn't he gorgeous" . I nodded with my eyes wide, "his name is Remmi, hes 3 years old and trained in protection and knows all German commands, he's not Harley but i think Remmi would be a great match for Amanda, as well as a great protection if she needs it" I smiled ill take him. Handing him the $500 i leashed up Remmi and we were off towards home. I looked over at this silly pup with his head hanging out the window and all i could think was 'I hope this helps'.


Amanda's pov

I got out of the shower and i heard Ryan in the room laughing. Smiling at the thought of what he could possibly laughing at i got dressed and walked into my room. I was instantly knocked to the ground and had something all over me licking my face, whining loudly. I sat up and looked at this huge wolf in front of me and glanced over at Ryan. He stood there nervously and i smiled, with a breath of relief Ryan walked over explaining "he's not Harley i know, but he's a good dog, trained in protection know's German and he needed a special human" I looked up and him and wrapped my arms around him 'thank you' i squeezed between my tears . Looking down at him i couldn't help but feel happy. "his name's Remmi" Ryan said. I leaned down and scratched Remmi's huge head and smiled "you are going to be great" and with that i walked over grabbed Harley's spike collar off of the shelf and slid it around his neck. "perfect" i whispered. i ran down the stairs and with out a word Remmi was at my side jumping for joy. I smiled up at Ryan who was standing at the top of the stairs and he instantly knew what i was thinking, "pet store to get him new stuff rite "? he questioned. I smiled wildly 'CORRECT SIR' i sung and clipped a leash on Remmi while jogging out the front door and into Ryan's truck. An hour and a hundred dollars later we got home and i was exhausted, i walked up the stairs, Remmi was right behind me and i climbed into bed and quickly fell fast asleep. I awoke to strong arms around me and i looked up and smiled. "hi baby" i heard him say huskily. Turning so my body was against his, i buried my face into his chest and sighed. He stroked my hair softly and leaned down to kiss my neck softly, i let a soft moan escape my lips and he smiled while still kissing my neck. Things got heated fast and before i realized it he was sticking his hands under my shirt. I pulled away fast and he looked down at me, i tried my best to not look at him and just act like nothing happened but ryan didn't just let things go, He lifted my chin to look at him and i sighed. "im scared" i said, "its okay to be afraid Amanda, i promise ill be soft and gentle if it gets to be to much say so and ill stop i promise you baby girl" and with that he started kissing me again. I trust Ryan so i kissed back roughly, a few hours later after everything was done we fell asleep in each others arms, i felt safe, calm, and happy.


Chapter 8

It has been four months since Jason was taken to jail for the abuse. There's not a day that goes by that i don't think about what he did to me, the mental and physical scars are still there, At times i think it holds me back from REALLY loving Ryan. He doesn't deserve it, he deserves to be with someone who can love him fully, trust him fully and not be afraid that one day he will leave, or wind back that big arm of his and hit me just like Jason did. I looked down at Remmi and scratched his ear's and sighed "life is so complicated big boy" He looked up at me happily and i couldn't help but smile. I heard foot steps and knew Ryan was coming up to our room, "he got out" was all he said, but that's all it took. I looked up at him in horror, and slowly i started to back away. i shuddered and looked down at the scars on my wrists. Ryan stepped forward and grabbed me, i tried my hardest to pull away but he wouldn't let me, he just held on to me and pulled me into his chest whispering "i wont let him hurt you again, ever again i promise you" finally i relaxed and just molded into him. i finally broke and started crying, "i cant go through that again Ryan i just i cant.." all i could feel was him nod. He pulled me over to the bed and we laid down as he stroked my hair and rubbed my shoulders before i knew it i was deep in sleep.

I woke up to loud banging and shot straight up, as did Ryan who was at my side. It took me all of a few seconds to figure out who and what it was. Remmi stood up and was at my bedroom door showing his fang. All i could feel was my heart beating, within seconds before either of us could react Jason burst through the bedroom door and was pointing a gun at ryan, he was smiling "get up" he said between his grin. We both got up and i could hear Remmi growling next to me. "put the dog in the bathroom NOW" he said harshly towards me and grabbed me by my arm pulling me from Ryan's grasp, he reached out for me but stopped when the gun was re pointed at him. I grabbed Remmi's collar and silently put him in the bathroom shutting the door almost the whole way but a crack, i could feel Jason push his body into mine forcing me into the wall whispering "shut it all the way" in my ear. I relunctingly did what i was told shaking from the contact of my big brother. Then i heard clapping looking towards the door there was a tall guy with dark black hair and blue eyes, covered in tattoo's standing there, i could hear my brother laugh from behind me, "well mason you decided to join our party" he pushed me towards him and he grabbed me with eager arms "she's better looking then you said bro" he said smiling. I could feel the heat coming off of Ryan as he stood there with his hands clenched, i tried all my best to just not look at him at all. This mason guy had me by the chin and was forcing me to look into his cold eyes , his smile really scared me. "Im gonna have fun with you" he whispered, throwing my brother a bag that looked lumpy and fully. "five grand is what you wanted for her right?" he slurred. I finally realized what was going on and tried hard to pull away from his big cold hands, instantly regretting it with an elbow to my face. I heard a loud noise and stood up to Ryan coming at us but Jason holding him back, he whispered something in his ear and his whole face dropped. I looked up at him as he walked out the door, feeling my heart literally break. 'he left me' was all i could think, Jason walked over and smiled down at me pulling me up "comeon manda you can take a hit harder than that" he said smiling " watch what you do, Mason here has a very short temper" i shuddered as i felt the arm going around my waist as he pulled me into him.

Chapter 9

I didn't listen to what Jason said about Mason and his short temper i fought as hard as i possibly could even when he was dragging me through the house and out the front door by my hair, i was swinging and hitting anything i could reach he finally got tired of me and turned around and hit me as hard as ive ever been hit in my life and i fell to the floor. without a second thought he reached down grabbed my face and stared down coldly at me "if you try that again you will be sorry doll" He whispered pulling me up from the floor and throwing me over his shoulder. I was to weak to fight, to broken. I just went limp, He threw me into the front seat of his truck and i closed my eyes, finally giving up the fight. I waited for him to come plopping into the drivers seat but he didn't. I sat up and looked out the window to see Ryan and his older brother niko standing over mason him bleeding from the stomach. With shaking hands i swung the door open and slid out of the truck stumbling with my steps, Just as i was about to collapse Niko caught me. Ryan was over in a rush and was softly grabbing me by my face to see where i was bleeding from. Before i could say anything everything went black.


I sat up and glanced around the pitch dark room, shaking i couldn't figure out where i was or what had happened. Someone said my name and in an instant was at my side touching my arm without any warning i started screaming and trying to protect myself. But i realized it was just Ryan when he wrapped his arms