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looked to the side. The car stopped and Hilary leaned out the window, “Ariel. Come on. We’ll drive you home.” I said, “I’ll get your car all wet.” She insisted, “Don’t worry about that. Get in.” I sighed and got in. David was the one driving and Diana was sitting by the window next to me. Diana said, “Keith’s home just in case you went home. Do you know what time it is?” I shook my head looking out the window. She added, “It’s ten going on eleven. We’ve been out looking for you for hours. Keith is worrying sick about you.” I ignored her and just stared out the window.

When we got home I got out of the car and so did everyone else. We went inside and Keith looked at me. Tears stained his cheeks. He came over and hugged me, “I’m so glad they found you.” He pulled back gripping my shoulders, “What were you thinking?! I was worried about you!” I shook my head, “Well you shouldn’t. A matter of fact, don’t worry about me. That’s not your responsibility. That’s no one’s responsibility. No one’s but my own.” He asked, “What are you talking about? Why are you saying that?” I sighed, “Because it’s true. And that’s how it’s going to be from now on. I don’t want anyone taking care of me. I can take care of myself. And if William comes back don’t try and stop him.” I turned and ran upstairs.

I got a pair of warm pajamas out of my dresser and grabbed a towel. Then I ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I got undressed and got in the warm water. I have no clue why I was feeling so depressed now. I think I’m finally letting all my pain show. I don’t know. But I was feeling really depressed.

I got dressed into my pajamas and went into my room. When I did Keith was sitting on my bed waiting for me. I asked, “What do you want?” He said, “Come here.” I went over and threw my towel on the chair.

He pulled me into his lap and put his arms around me, “What’s the matter? Why are you being like this? Tell me.” I moved off of his lap and sat next to him, “I said don’t worry about me.” He grabbed my hand, “Ariel. I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re scaring me. Please.” I sighed, “I don’t know. I’m in pain and the only way I know how to deal with it is to just be alone. Okay? That’s all I’m gonna say. I’m finally feeling the whole impact and then . . .” I stopped. I didn’t want to say anything more. He insisted, “And then what?” I shook my head, “Nothing. Never mind.” He asked, “Was it about the kiss yesterday?”

I looked up at him, “Yeah. But that’s not the main thing. That’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back.” “What was bothering you about the kiss?” He asked. I looked down, “Well the way you reacted afterwards. You were frowning like you were mad and then the last thing you said sounded like you didn’t want to see me. I didn’t understand. Was I a bad kisser? To me it was good. If it lasted longer it would’ve been perfect.”

Keith brought my face up to look at him, “You weren’t a bad kisser. You were great. I looked angry and I didn’t want to see you for the rest of the night because I almost lost it. I almost lost control. I never wanted your blood more than I wanted it last night. And it scared me. That’s why I left so suddenly in the mood that I was in.” I felt relief rush through me. I sighed, “Why didn’t you just tell me?” “I didn’t want you to be afraid of me.” I shook my head, “I wouldn’t have been afraid of you.” He nodded, “I know that now. Ariel. Whenever you are feeling down don’t be afraid to come to me to talk or to anyone here. I told you if you kept it bottled up inside of you that you would explode one day. I just had no idea that it would be this bad.”

I nodded, “Yeah. I know. I just don’t talk to people about my pain. I can’t.” “You’re not used to having someone to talk to about it. I’m sure once you give it a try you’ll be able to.” I shrugged, “I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed.” He kissed my forehead, “Don’t do nothing stupid. Please. Goodnight.” Then he left.

I went in the drawer of my dresser and brought out my pocket knife with the black handle. I locked my door and sat on my bed. I stared at the knife for a while. I can’t believe that I was down to this again. I pulled my sleeve up of my left arm and placed the tip of the knife on my arm. I held my mouth shut tight and slowly cut my arm. It was up close to where my elbow bended. I didn’t cut too deep. I don’t think I did anyway. I whimpered a little bit as I cut it but when I was done I put the knife on the bed and held my arm out. It was bleeding. A lot. It would stop after a while.

I got one of my shirts out from my dresser and cut the one sleeve off. I tied the sleeve around the wound and pulled my sleeve down over the wound so no one would see it if they were to come in. I wiped the blood off of the knife and onto the ruined shirt. I put the knife away and buried my ruined stained with blood shirt underneath the mattress of my bed. Then I layed down and closed my eyes. Despite the pain in my arm I fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

The next morning I woke up and my arm was sore. But that’s not what woke me. Someone was knocking on my door. More like banging. I got up and ran over to the door. Damn it. I left it locked. I looked at my arm and touched my sleeve. It was damp. But the blood wasn’t coming out as quickly as it was last night. Because my top was black you couldn’t see the blood from looking at it. “Ariel! Are you okay?!” I heard Keith yell in.

I unlocked the door and cracked it open, “Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked, “Do you know what time it is?” I frowned, “No.” He answered, “It’s around three in the afternoon. Are you feeling okay? You don’t look too good. You look paler than usual.” I nodded, “I’ll be fine. Probably just coming down with the flu or something from staying out in the rain last night for as long as I did.” Keith frowned at me. I could tell that he could see that something was wrong. He asked, “Why won’t you let me in?” I hesitated but answered, “Because I’m about to get changed. I’ll be down in a bit.” He looked at me up and down hopping that he would find something. He gave up, “Alright. I’ll have some medicine and soup for you when you come down.” I nodded, “Thanks.” Then I shut the door.

I sighed and locked the door. I didn’t want him to come in and see my wound. I took my shirt off and the sleeve that was around my cut was no linger white. It was red and it was soaked with blood. I got the shirt and the knife out of the drawer and mattress and cut the other sleeve off. I replaced the wrapping and buried the evidence underneath the mattress. I put the knife back in my dresser. I got dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a blue shirt. It wasn’t a turtle neck but it had long sleeves. Hopefully, they would take the smell as their thirst. At the worst I’ll just say that I scrapped my arm against the wall when I fell.

I went downstairs and found no one in the living room. I stopped and frowned in wonder. “In the kitchen Ariel!” Keith called out. I went into the kitchen and he frowned, “Why do you smell like blood?” The butterflies in my stomach flew faster. I replied, “I fell and scrapped my arm against the wall. I’ll be fine. Sorry to make it harder on you.” He shrugged, “I’m fine. Your soup’s in the microwave. I’ll get it out in a minute.” He handed me a pill, “It’s a pain killer. It’ll help with the nausea.” I took it, “Thanks.” I popped it in my mouth and swallowed it.

Unfortunately it wouldn’t help me any with my arm. Only my sore throat. I heard the microwave beep and I went over. I opened it and lifted my arms to grab it. But I couldn’t lift my left arm. Damn it! What was I to say now? “I can’t reach it. Can you get it for me?” He came over and took the bowl out. Instead of giving it to me when I held my right hand out for it he put it on the counter. He held his hands out palm facing up, “Let me see your left arm. You couldn’t raise it.”

I backed up a step, “No. I just couldn’t reach it.” Keith frowned, “Let me see that cut on your arm.” I shook my head, “It’s just a scrape. Don’t strain yourself.” He replied, “I have more self-control than that, Ariel. Let me see.” I shook my head, “No.” I went to turn around but he grabbed my left arm and it hurt. I winced, “Ow! Let go! Let go!” He moved his hand down to my wrist and held my arm up. I tried to pull back but it was useless. He pulled my sleeve up and his face turned to horror.

I said, “It’s not as bad as it looks.” I looked down at it and the sleeve was red. I winced, “Okay. Maybe it is as bad as it looks. I’m sorry. I . . . I . . . I won’t do it again. I swear.” Keith took the sleeve off and my cut was all blue. It looked infected. I cut it deeper than I thought I did. Keith picked me up and took me into the other room.

He yelled, “DAD! GET DOWN HERE! QUICK!” In a flash David was downstairs, “What in the world happened to her?!” Keith sat me down on the couch, “We can ask her later! Get your bag!” David left and was back in a flash with a black doctors bag. “What are you doing? You’re not a doctor.” David said, “I could be.” Keith growled, “He’s a better doctor than anyone in this state.” I turned my head as he worked on my arm. Whenever it hurt I squeezed the arm of the couch and held my breath. Keith was pacing back and forth behind me not once meeting my gaze.

After about fifteen minutes David sighed, “Done. Your arm’s all stitched up and you’ll be able to lift it without any pain in a few days.” I nodded, “Thank you.” He said, “Ariel. What happened?” I looked down, “I . . . I couldn’t deal with the pain so I cut myself. It’s been a while since I’ve done it so I swear it was an accident for it to be so
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