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could do nothing but inhale the mud. My body contracted in desperation, trying to dislodge the unwanted foe but also starving for air.

     Thick mud clogged my throat.

     My heartbeat was throbbing through my body.

     Death was whispering in my ear, convincing me to stop fighting for life.

     As my body began to still, darkness was all around me, consuming my mind. I was lost in the blissful state of memories.

     I remembered a time when life was easy. When sorrow was having to clean the house. When pain was hitting my funny bone. A time when death did not stalk me.

     I grabbed a handful of Hosannas mane and swung myself up onto him. His tall, muscular body flexed as he walked, his glossy fur glistened as the warm glow of the sun hit it and and his milky mane whipped freely with the wind. I knew it was dangerous, riding without a bridle or saddle but I could not find it in me to care. I just smiled in pure happiness and watched the tall golden grass whirl with the wind and smelt the spicy fragrance of sage bush, so strong I could almost taste it.

     As Hosanna walked farther and farther away from the wooden fence that curled around the field, I turned him around and pulled him to a stop. I gazed up at the towering mountains, the blazing sun was just starting to rise above it casting beautiful pink and red rays across the morning sky.

     My knuckles whitened as I gripped Hosannas mane. His muscles tighten in anticipation of the run.

     I barely tapped him with my heels when abruptly he leaped foreword . I held onto his mane even tighter and leaned into him, pressing my face against his warm coat. He waved his head and whinnied in delight, then flew even faster. He was going so fast that I could barely hear his thunderous hooves, thumping against the earth.

     We were flying across the field, our body's moving as though we were one.

     “Ha!” I bellowed over my pounding heart, demanding that he go faster. Hosannas ears flickered back in acknowledgement then he flew faster than ever.

     I closed my eyes and through my head back in a joyous laugh. The golden sun was kissing my skin and my long fiery hair was whipping around my face. At that moment I knew there was nothing in the world that could make me feel as free as I did then. I felt as though nothing and no one could harm us when we were flying, we were free.

    I was free.

    And then, I was pulled back to the agonizing present and away from the blissful memory. Someone's arms clasped tightly around my waist sending a shock wave through my body as they  pulled me upward. Leave me be! I wanted to shout, but I still could not breath, my body felt thick and heavy and my mind was in a fog.

     I could feel someone's hands in my mouth, digging the mud out, but I could not see at all. The mud had caressed my body entirely in a thick layer.

     I could hear muffled voices shouting desperately, but I could not make out the words.

     Shockingly, I felt scorching lips, press against mine, spreading my mouth open.      Thankfulness consumed me as my lungs inflated with air.

     In the moment of the agonizing confusion and the lack of oxygen, my mind became completely clear.

      Was it possible for death to have a death wish for me? Because I think she did. I could feel her now, latched onto my back like a leach. Drinking me in hungrily, never letting go until she had had her full share. But for a reason unknown she has not been able to fully dine on my soul. I would like to think the reason for my seemingly everlasting life was because there was a higher power protecting me, but then, I thought, which higher power was protecting me? God or Lucifer? Maybe both. Maybe neither. Though the lightning did strike from the heavens, and the mud of the earth did try to consume me.

       Lips pressed against mine again, giving me another burst of breath. My body started contracting in heaves and I spewed mud out of my mouth, then gasped in starved breaths of air. I could feel someone's hands gently smoothing the dirt from my eyes so that I could see.

     A mud enveloped Phoenix was looking desperately down at me, his chest heaving in exertion. He held me close against him, cradled in his arms as shook in fright. His raw emotion disturbed me and I tried to pull away from him but he continued to hold me close.

     I felt movement under me and noticed with thankfulness that we were riding Hosanna, a new brown Hosanna with mud coating his fur and his eyes flashing wildly, but he was okay and that was all that mattered.

      I reached a muddy hand outward and stroked Hosannas neck, trying to comfort him. He shuddered with relief under my touch.

     “It's okay boy. Its going to be okay.” I told him soothingly, trying to convince myself as much as him. Hosanna reached his head around and nudged my leg, checking if I was not hurt.

     I heard hoofs squashing in the mud behind me. I turned my head to see the black horse which was almost completely hidden in the dark except the white of its eyes and same with its rider.

     “Ya dead?” the woman asked me. I shook my head no.

     “Well if ya two lovers are done getin’ friendly wit eachother, I think it's best we find shelter, before we all get fried crispy.” she informed us and flashed a white, slightly demented smile that reminded me of someone, but it was too dark to tell.

     I pushed at Phoenixes chest and this time he released me. I climbed around and grasped Hosannas slippery mane, and we assumed our earlier position as if I had not almost died. As if Phoenix was not completely naked.

     I wanted the other rider to take Phoenix so that I could get away from him, but she did not offer and it would have been rude to ask.

      I sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Superbus

 

Pain, without love.

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough,

‘Cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all-Three days grace

I grasped his neck in my powerfully hands and squeezed, slowly, full of the insanity that consumed my mind. Murder meant nothing to me anymore. If anything it excited me! I had no moral instincts. Being an angel I had never needed a conscience. I was simply created without one. Angels had not a need for something so human as feelings. We had a strong sense of good and Justice naturally. But once I renounced my father, and was vanquished to hell, the good felt like it was ripped from my very being, along with justice.

     In hell, where I was sent with some of my other brothers and sisters, new feelings consumed me entirely. Without the ability for remorse, I was left with rage, lust, and insanity. New human feelings that were completely raw and overpowering. I had no choice but to obey sin.

     The worthless human in my arms tried to stab me repeatedly with the knife in his hand, but it did not wound me. A woman shrieked  in horror and tried desperately to stop me from killing her lover. In fact, cries of agony, bellows of rage and whimpers of fear drowned the city in sweet chaos. Being a demon I drank in the cries thirstily.

     I through my head back and bellowed a insane laugh as my submissive army of thousands continued to slaughter and devour women and children, leaving only the men behind so that they could join our army of hell. 

      I had to feed the creatures of the flame somehow. They were powerful warriors but they needed so much food! Especially meat. Oh, how my creatures loved meat! 

     Despite the creatures obvious blood lust, I was a obeyed and respected leader. The creatures feared me beyond all else, except for the lord Lucifer, may he rule the heavens and earth.

      I was the strongest most powerful being on this world, and yet, I wish I was not so weak. If only I was stronger than my all knowing master, then maybe I would not be here. Taking many lives, creating one, and always under control of Lucifer.

     The man in my hands went limp in our embrace. It was quite like an embrace lovers would share, the thought excited me. Though this was an embrace of death. The woman continued to beat on me. It always shocked me how the human need for preservation was so strong. They were all going to die anyway, so why fight it?

     I laughed again at the pain death all around me. At the woman's useless pursuit to save her dying lover. Though deep, deep down, in the dark abyss of my heart, I new. Oh how I new! All this blood lust and rage I was feeling, was merely a cover up for the simmering misery and hatred I was feeling for myself. All because of my master!

     I was not only a bloodthirsty demon wanting to bring hell upon the earth, a monster who left his sweet love to burn in hell but I was also willing to sacrifice my own daughter for the cause of my evil master.    

    What kind of animal would  sacrifice his own daughter? I smiled. I would.

     But better to live in the insanity of earth, then the other place... Better here, than there.   

     The second I thought it the flashback attacked me mercilessly.

     My flesh ripping from my muscle.

     “AHHHHH!” A animalistic scream of agony. It did not even sound of this world.

     Acid enveloping me in its raw depths of pain.

     “God of the Heavens! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?!?!?!” A cry of sorrow.

     Lava slithering through my veins.

     “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN CHILD?!” A lifeless shriek blaming the creator for the betrayal of the forsaken angel flesh.

     I faintly realized, through the pain, that I was the one shouting. I knew the cries were useless. The creator did not care about my suffering anymore. He loved me, but did not care. Thats why I chose to serve my brother Lucifer. He cared and sympathized. Or so I thought. Little did I no I would be sent to the depths of hell with the rest of the fallen.

     DEAD SILENCE. It was almost worse then the yelling.

     Thousands of maggots, eating me alive, crawling under my skin.

     That was not even close to the worst part of hell. By far the most agonizing, horrid thing was having to witness, without the ability to look away nor even blink, the fallen angel I loved going through the same thing I was.

     Fire melting him inside out. His flesh

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