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My eyes are burning but I can’t take them off the wonderful glow of the fire.
Six


“He is so beautiful.” I’m hiding behind a tree, watching the love of my life sleep like the creeper I am. I watch him all the time. I don’t know if I’m in love or attached to a guy that treats me like shit and I just don’t realize it.
“And that’s why you’re doing it. You need him and you know you do.” Her ghostly Silhouette walks up behind me. I almost jump in shock. Her face is white; hair is dark and long, and her big black eyes with the black scar around them.
“Wow, I haven’t seen you like this in months. I almost forgot what you looked like”
“Yeah well, my legs get stiff running around on all fours.” I laugh at this; she loves her wolf form ten times better than her human. Most of us like our eternal form better than our temporal form.
“Look at him. How could I leave him?”
“You wouldn’t let a guy run your life. You were curious, and now you get to share your experience with him. You only have this one chance. Don’t mess it up this time.” She rolls her eyes at me.
“I was just scared! There was so much hurt in his eyes, I felt bad.”
“Charlie, he is right there. Go.” White icy ribbons form around her and within seconds she’s that amazing looking wolf, which I recognize.
I do the same, forming into my little ball of death. It sounds awful but it’s true. My form of death is a orb. It’s a floating ball. Isn’t that fun? It is actually, it’s very fun. Being a sphere of death, may sound boring but it’s a joyful ride. Sometimes people just can’t take their eyes off of me. I am beautiful as my crystal look bounces around the death world.
I turn to look at her. “Go and make sure everything is clear and ready.”
I glided over to the edge of the woods where the camping spot started. I wish I could go further but I couldn’t. If one of his friends saw me there would be a lot of explaining to do to a lot of people in both worlds.
“Ray” I say his wonderful name as softly as I can. He doesn’t wake up. He looks very uncomfortable. Who sleeps in a fold out chair? That would suck. There’s something about me, it’s kind of weird, but no matter where I am or what I do, I must be comfortable. I usually cry and complain if I’m not.
“Ray” I say it a little louder this time. He moves a little, but not enough to wake up. I turn back into my temporal form to let a little light through.
“RAY!” I looked away swiftly like someone would know it was me. He lifts his head up and slowly opens his eyes. That’s a surprise, I thought he would jump up quickly, maybe fall out of his chair, since I just screamed his name like a man.
He stands up, stretches and starts to walk to his tent.
“Wait Ray!” He looks. His eyes squinted, his face tired. Poor thing, he looks so sad and confused.
“Hello?” His voice scratchy, mainly because he just woke up.
“Ray, come here.”
“Charlie?” He starts to walk towards me. I felt nervous, but happy. What is he gonna think of me like this? Oh my god, I don’t know what to do. What do I say? How do I explain this to him? Shit shit shit. He’s getting closer.
“Charlie! Charlie please let it be you.” Jeez, he’s so emotional. I step out from the woods and all I see is shock on his face.
“Ray. Hey Ray.”
Nothing. I walk closer.
“Ray don’t be afraid, stop looking like that, it’s me Charlie. I’m right here.” He made a small, easy, smile but his eyes weren’t happy.
“Are you not happy to see me, Ray?” He takes a step back from me.
“Charlie?”
“Yes, it’s me”
“Charlie?”
“Yes, Ray, it’s me”
“Has it been you the entire time?”
“Yes. In the backyard. Yes, that was me.”
His face gets red “Charlie! Why would scare me like that?! Why didn’t you tell me it was you before and not make me go crazy for the past month?!” Tears were forming in his eyes. “We could have been together, we could have talked, but you decided to play with my head!”
“No. No no no. Sweetie, it’s not like that. I promise.” He walked closer to me and reached out for me, but I couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t touch me, kiss me, or even hug me. His arm fell to his side. More tears formed in his eyes.
“Charlie I’ve missed you so much. My life is so different without you.”
“I know Ray. I’m always looking out for you. I’m always watching over you. You haven’t been happy in such a long time.”
“I don’t have you in my life anymore.”
“That shouldn’t depend on your happiness Ray. You know I’m okay, look at me, nothing can hurt me.” I smiled at him. “If I’m okay, if I’m safe, aren’t you happy?”
“Yes I am. But I want to be with you. I want to smile and actually mean it.”
“Oh my little muffin. You are the cutest thing. I’ve seen you smile since I died. I’ve seen it. ”
“Charlie, why are you here? When you leave me again” He paused for a moment, looked at his feet and back up into my eyes, “I don’t think I can handle that.”
“Ray you don’t understand. I’m not leaving. I’ve never left. Did I not just tell you that I am always watching out for you? I am always by your side.”
“No you’re not”
“Yes I am Ray”
“NO YOU ARE NOT! YOU LEFT ME! You just left me. Right then and there. You left. What did I do wrong?!”
“Stop it! Don’t say that! You very well know why I did this. It had nothing to do with you! Now stop yelling at me! Don’t bring it up again. You are the only person in this world who gets to see someone after death, and you’re not even happy I’m here! You are screaming and crying!”
“Oh Charlie. I’m sorry. I have so many emotions built up, and I’m freaking out because you’re right in front of me.” He took a breath. “I knew you could do something like this, I knew it was you from before, but I just… this is a huge shock.”
“Sit down.” I walk over to the chair he was sleeping on and stand behind it. He sits in it and I walk around; kneel down and look straight up at him. “Ray”
“Charlie”
“Are you scared of me?”
“This is a lot to take in Charlie. I am very scared right now.”
“Close your eyes and go back to sleep. You seem so tired”
“No!” I look at him with shock, he stands. “I am not loosing you again, and besides… you have a lot of explaining to do.” That’s right…
He owns my heart.

Seven


He won’t sit down. I wish I could touch him so I could force him down.
“I can stand here all day. I don’t give a shit what you say. Explain.”
“Ray, I’ve told you, I can’t explain here. We have to go somewhere else.”
“And I have told you that I won’t go anywhere with you until you explain.” My heart sinks to my stomach.
“Ray, please trust me. Once I get you to where we need to be, I’ll explain everything.”
“What do you mean ‘where we need to be’? Here is fine with me”
“Ray, I went through so much to get myself down here. There’s a reason I came back to earth. I broke so many rules to find you. So shut your pie hole and trust me!” He looks at me with shock. Then a small smile forms on his face.
“You haven’t changed one bit Charlie.” He reaches for me, trying to touch my face like he used too, but was forced to put his arm down. “Charlie…” I make myself look away from him. I just can’t take his pain.
“Close your eyes Ray.”
“Why?
“Just do it.” His eyes close slowly. I stare at him for a moment, remembering the times when he would stand just like that and hold up his arms to hug me. I remember wanting his love so badly, I would run into his arms and hold him like it was the last time I was going to see him.
I took a little jump-
“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” I stand right in front of him as his eyes slowly open. He looks around with a blank face at first, but then it turns into a confused one.
“Where are we, Charlie?”
“When a person dies they have to accept it first. If they can’t accept that they are dead, then they can’t go on and live a happy life.”
“But they are dead…”
“Will you listen?!” His lips curl in.
“There is a lot more to an afterlife than there is to life, Ray. This is the first step. There are four steps to being dead-“
“If there is only four steps then what happens when you reach the fourth step?”
“Okay you know what? You were just brought into this world and your being sassy. Do I need to take you back?”
“I was just asking.”
I sit down and close my eyes. Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Once I open my eyes again he is kneeling right in front of me.
“I need to hold you.” He whispers.
“Stop it.” He looks at me with pain. “You’re not even surprised Ray. You’re not confused. You’re not freaking out like most people would.”
“Charlie. Don’t you dare say that. If you knew how freaked out I was right

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