In Me by Tiffany Anyel (novels to improve english .TXT) đ
- Author: Tiffany Anyel
Book online «In Me by Tiffany Anyel (novels to improve english .TXT) đ». Author Tiffany Anyel
âFuck Everyone!â I silently screamed as I drove down âhighway hellâ on my way home. Too many cars, too many âcrazyâ drivers, too many traffic lightsâjust too much for one personânamely me, to put up with, especially right now!
And especially since I decided to have âmy-world-changingâ epiphany moment, the exact same instant, I almost rear-ended the slowest and dumbest driver, in the history of slowest and dumbest drivers! Err! I swerve to the passing lane, roll down my window, and flip them off.
An old wrinkled woman gives me a your-going-to-hell stare as I zoom past her to switch lanes. Looking in my rearview mirror, I finally spot the old hag, and give her one last âmiddle fingerâ, when I hear a loud horn, and realize Iâm about to drive right off the exit into the valley below, âShit!â I swerve almost hitting the horn-blaring semi, when he blows his loud-ass horn again
. I flip him off and yell âShut-it asshole!â as I turn off the highway.
Fuming at a red light and feeling a little un-hinged by my near-death experience, only a minute ago, proves even moreâI need a change. That my epiphany moment earlier--was not just âa momentâ but a fucking red flag permanently stamped in my consciousness somewhere.
Sitting here waiting, for the stupid light to change, with all but smoke coming out of my ears and nose, I might as well spill. So hereâs the beans: Have you ever been stomped on? Beaten up? Ran over? Completely and utterly rung out?
Of course, this is all metaphorical, or at least in my case. I havenât gotten the pleasure (Iâm sure) of literally being âthe girl bleeding on the pavement.â But in every other way--yes, Iâm that girl bleeding on the pavement. Crying. Tired. And Unhappy. But most of all Pissed-the-fuck-off!!!
I hear a horn, and realize the light has turned green. I make my way to my street, finally pulling up to homeâthe one place that makes a shitty day, not-so-shitty.
I changed out of my too-tight jeans, and too-big shirt, and plopped on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and flicked the remote as I looked for a movie to watch. Considering my mood, I stopped at the streaming horror movies; Hellraiser thatâs a good one! I definitely could raise some hell right about now!
I hear the phone ring. Not right now Lee.
Rolling my eyes, choosing to ignore it--the machine clicks on and I hear Leeâs voice on the other end, âKate, why are you not answering your cell?â Because I donât want to, thatâs why!
âAnd why are you not picking up now? I know you just got off work, where else would you be?â I hear his smirk-y laughter over the phone. Shut up Lee.
âOkay Kate, well whenever you feel like crawling out of your hole, give me a ring, will ya?â He hangs up, the machine clicks off. Crawling out of my holeâŠhumph, if Lee only knew how right he wasâŠ
Bang! Bang! Bang! âKate! Are you in there?!â Bang! What the⊠Quickly sitting up, and wiping my groggy eyesââKate!â I jump, realizing Lee is at the doorâno scratch that, about to âunhingeâ the door, as he stood there pounding and yelling my name.
I slowly (just for his benefit) walk to the door and opened it saying, âWhat the hell dude?â
âWhere the hell have you been?!â Lee says, standing with all but hands on hips, trying to give me one of his wickedly evil staresâthat seemed to look (at least to my groggy eyes) only wickedly sexy and maybe a bit evil.
He rolls his eyes, âAnd why are you smiling?â
âBecause I forget how cute you are when youâre angry,â I say pinching his cheek.
âKate Iâm seriousâwhere the hell have you been?â I shut the door behind him, and walk into the kitchen, âWhere do you think? Do you see me right now? I was sleeping.â
âDo you know how worried Iâve been? You could of least called me back before you crashed.â âOh my god Lee whatâs the big deal?! So I took a nap.â I say, turning around facing him.
âA nap?â âYea, so?â watching him smile for the first timeâsince banging on my door I ask, âWhatâwhy the face?â
Lee stifled a laugh, âKate, what day do you think it is?â âWhat?â I glanced at the clock on my microwaveââShit!â
It was almost mid-afternoonâthe next day. I had clonked out somewhere in between raising hell, and sticky ice cream yesterday eveningâtil now. âCrap! I am so late for work!â
I run to my room, and quickly start scanning my bleak and depressing closet. I had shoved a wrinkled shirt over my head, (over the one I still had on) when I abruptly stoppedâwalking over to my bed and sitting down.
I hated my job. I even hatedâthat I even hated my job. So, why the rushâbesides being incredibly late! to get back to it??
Hello, Bills? Well yea, thereâs thatâunfortunately. But I had built up quite a ânest eggâ over the years, and fortunatelyâfor me, had enough saved up to last me several bills in the future.
No, stripping me down to my bare assâwas the truth, my naked
truth: fearâyes, that âoh-so-scaryâ four letter word, that has so âterrifyinglyâ kicked me in my rearâover and over again.
I guess at some point in my life, I had just decided to keep binding over. And guess what? It kicked my ass every time! Since it matteredâfear has had the âhorrifyingâ pleasure of tying a huge knot around my every decision.
I hear a curious Lee walk over to my bed, sitting down. âWhatâs wrong?â
I quickly wiped my eyes, letting out a sniffle. Lee sounding concerned bumps me on the shoulder, âIs it about you being late? Iâm pretty sure Joanne will understand once you talk to her.â âYea I know. Itâs not that.â
âSo what is it?â I get up from the bed, and sounding a little muffled, as I tangled with pulling the first shirt over my head said, âOh, itâs nothing. Iâm okay.â
Knowing Lee I could probably guess what he was thinking, something along the lines: Stop lying to me Kate
! And Lee knowing me knew I always
had to sort it out on my own.
Sighing, and looking not too pleased, Lee gets up, âOkay. Well, Iâll let you get ready for work.â He shuts the door behind him.
I stood staring at my closet for I donât know how long. Fuming at my drab pathetic wardrobe and disheveled mess of a closetâI begin yanking clothes off hangers. Throwing shirts, shoes, pants, and anything I saw out.
Feeling like Bernadine from Waiting To Exhale, I begin quietlyâyet furiously, quoting the part, âGet your shit! Get your shit! And get out!â
Okay, fact: I didnât have a âmanâ in my life (not even a cheating one). But me anger, my frustrationâmy unhappiness! didnât come from the choices and actions made by someone elseâbut the choices and actions not made for myself.
I had given up: On my-self. On my-dreams. On my-life. Even my pathetic crap of a closet (which explains some of the giving up on me part). Year by year, month by month, week by week, day by day, hour by hourâŠpiece by pieceâchoice by choice.
Finally sizzling down, I turn around, looking at my littered roomâclothes everywhere (and I do mean everywhere), my bedroom looked like a tornado had come throughâonly stirring up my already âflungâ clothes.
Spending most of my energy âstirring up the tornado,â I calmly tidied up my room. I had all but three outfits in my closet. I chunk-ed the rest.
I went to my drawer, changed into an appropriate outfit for the task at hand, and left my room. I see Lee in the living room, eating a sandwich, watching Hellraiser. (Go figure.)
He notices me standing in the archway, and I watched the surprised look on his face, as he looked me up and down, âYou wearing that to work?â
âNo.â And before he could respond, I say with a bit of gusto and a hint reservation, âIâm quitting my job today.â âYouâre quitting?â âYes.â And instead of asking whyâwhich I was waiting for, Lee surprises me saying, âGood for you.â
He meets my surprised smile, with a bemused one of his own, âSoâŠwhere are you going in that outfit? The gym?â I reflexively look down at my attireâspandex pants, with a matching top, and sneakers. Yes, I was ready for a work-out.
âMaybe. But first Iâm going running.â âRunning? You? Okay
.â Lee said, sounding confused, looking mildly amused, as he finished his sandwich.
We say our âgood-byesâ and âcall me latersâ; then I set out running. Running for my life.
Two weeks. Five days. Two hours: Running.
âSo...whatâŠbrought...this...on?â Lee said, through shuddered breathsârunning alongside me (for the first time), he wipes a towel over his sweaty face.
I pauseâconsidering, âI donât know. IâŠjust felt like running.â
And in hisâbest yet, Forrest Gump voice, Lee âso Forrest-lyâ replied, âYou just felt like running?â I bump him on the shoulder not-stifling a laugh. He turns his head smiling.
I guess it had to be saidâIâm just surprised he beat me to it! But who knew better than Lee how our âsense of humorâ worked.
My Lee: my confidante, my friend. He always knew just what to sayâor not say. But his âsimpleâ question did have me thinking âcomplex-inglyâ for the answer, as we circled yet another lap in the park.
Two weeks, five days, and
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