The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (grave mercy TXT) đ
- Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- Performer: 014044792X
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âItâs a most improbable story.â
âOh, very well! if itâs improbableâit isâthatâs all! And yetâ where should you have heard it? Though I must say, if a fly crosses the room itâs known all over the place here. However, Iâve warned you, and you may be grateful to me. Wellâau revoirâ probably in the next world! One more thingâdonât think that I am telling you all this for your sake. Oh, dear, no! Do you know that I dedicated my confession to Aglaya Ivanovna? I did though, and how she took it, ha, ha! Oh, no! I am not acting from any high, exalted motives. But though I may have behaved like a cad to you, I have not done HER any harm. I donât apologize for my words about âleavingsâ and all that. I am atoning for that, you see, by telling you the place and time of the meeting. Goodbye! You had better take your measures, if you are worthy the name of a man! The meeting is fixed for this eveningâthatâs certain.â
Hippolyte walked towards the door, but the prince called him back and he stopped.
âThen you think Aglaya Ivanovna herself intends to go to Nastasia Philipovnaâs tonight?â he asked, and bright hectic spots came out on his cheeks and forehead.
âI donât know absolutely for certain; but in all probability it is so,â replied Hippolyte, looking round. âNastasia would hardly go to her; and they canât meet at Ganiaâs, with a man nearly dead in the house.â
âItâs impossible, for that very reason,â said the prince. âHow would she get out if she wished to? You donât know the habits of that houseâshe COULD not get away alone to Nastasia Philipovnaâs! Itâs all nonsense!â
âLook here, my dear prince, no one jumps out of the window if they can help it; but when thereâs a fire, the dandiest gentleman or the finest lady in the world will skip out! When the moment comes, and thereâs nothing else to be doneâour young lady will go to Nastasia Philipovnaâs! Donât they let the young ladies out of the house alone, then?â
âI didnât mean that exactly.â
âIf you didnât mean that, then she has only to go down the steps and walk off, and she need never come back unless she chooses: Ships are burned behind one sometimes, and one doesnât care to return whence one came. Life need not consist only of lunches, and dinners, and Prince Sâs. It strikes me you take Aglaya Ivanovna for some conventional boarding-school girl. I said so to her, and she quite agreed with me. Wait till seven or eight oâclock. In your place I would send someone there to keep watch, so as to seize the exact moment when she steps out of the house. Send Colia. Heâll play the spy with pleasureâfor you at least. Ha, ha, ha!â
Hippolyte went out.
There was no reason for the prince to set anyone to watch, even if he had been capable of such a thing. Aglayaâs command that he should stay at home all day seemed almost explained now. Perhaps she meant to call for him, herself, or it might be, of course, that she was anxious to make sure of his not coming there, and therefore bade him remain at home. His head whirled; the whole room seemed to be turning round. He lay down on the sofa, and closed his eyes.
One way or the other the question was to be decided at lastâ finally.
Oh, no, he did not think of Aglaya as a boarding-school miss, or a young lady of the conventional type! He had long since feared that she might take some such step as this. But why did she wish to see Nastasia?
He shivered all over as he lay; he was in high fever again.
No! he did not account her a child. Certain of her looks, certain of her words, of late, had filled him with apprehension. At times it had struck him that she was putting too great a restraint upon herself, and he remembered that he had been alarmed to observe this. He had tried, all these days, to drive away the heavy thoughts that oppressed him; but what was the hidden mystery of that soul? The question had long tormented him, although he implicitly trusted that soul. And now it was all to be cleared up. It was a dreadful thought. And âthat womanâ again! Why did he always feel as though âthat womanâ were fated to appear at each critical moment of his life, and tear the thread of his destiny like a bit of rotten string? That he always HAD felt this he was ready to swear, although he was half delirious at the moment. If he had tried to forget her, all this time, it was simply because he was afraid of her. Did he love the woman or hate her? This question he did not once ask himself today; his heart was quite pure. He knew whom he loved. He was not so much afraid of this meeting, nor of its strangeness, nor of any reasons there might be for it, unknown to himself; he was afraid of the woman herself, Nastasia Philipovna. He remembered, some days afterwards, how during all those fevered hours he had seen but HER eyes, HER look, had heard HER voice, strange words of hers; he remembered that this was so, although he could not recollect the details of his thoughts.
He could remember that Vera brought him some dinner, and that he took it; but whether he slept after dinner, or no, he could not recollect.
He only knew that he began to distinguish things clearly from the moment when Aglaya suddenly appeared, and he jumped up from the sofa and went to meet her. It was just a quarter past seven then.
Aglaya was quite alone, and dressed, apparently hastily, in a light mantle. Her face was pale, as it had been in the morning, and her eyes were ablaze with bright but subdued fire. He had never seen that expression in her eyes before.
She gazed attentively at him.
âYou are quite ready, I observe,â she said, with absolute composure, âdressed, and your hat in your hand. I see somebody has thought fit to warn you, and I know who. Hippolyte?â
âYes, he told me,â said the prince, feeling only half alive.
âCome then. You know, I suppose, that you must escort me there? You are well enough to go out, arenât you?â
âI am well enough; but is it really possible?ââ
He broke off abruptly, and could not add another word. This was his one attempt to stop the mad child, and, after he had made it, he followed her as though he had no will of his own. Confused as his thoughts were, he was, nevertheless, capable of realizing the fact that if he did not go with her, she would go alone, and so he must go with her at all hazards. He guessed the strength of her determination; it was beyond him to check it.
They walked silently, and said scarcely a word all the way. He only noticed that she seemed to know the road very well; and once, when he thought it better to go by a certain lane, and remarked to her that it would be quieter and less public, she only said, âitâs all the same,â and went on.
When they were almost arrived at Daria Alexeyevnaâs house (it was a large wooden structure of ancient date), a gorgeously-dressed lady and a young girl came out of it. Both these ladies took their seats in a carriage, which was waiting at the door, talking and laughing loudly the while, and drove away without appearing to notice the approaching couple.
No sooner had the carriage driven off than the door opened once more; and Rogojin, who had apparently been awaiting them, let them in and closed it after them.
âThere is not another soul in the house now excepting our four selves,â he said aloud, looking at the prince in a strange way.
Nastasia Philipovna was waiting for them in the first room they went into. She was dressed very simply, in black.
She rose at their entrance, but did not smile or give her hand, even to the prince. Her anxious eyes were fixed upon Aglaya. Both sat down, at a little distance from one anotherâAglaya on the sofa, in the corner of the room, Nastasia by the window. The prince and Rogojin remained standing, and were not invited to sit.
Muishkin glanced at Rogojin in perplexity, but the latter only smiled disagreeably, and said nothing. The silence continued for some few moments.
An ominous expression passed over Nastasia Philipovnaâs face, of a sudden. It became obstinate-looking, hard, and full of hatred; but she did not take her eyes off her visitors for a moment.
Aglaya was clearly confused, but not frightened. On entering she had merely glanced momentarily at her rival, and then had sat still, with her eyes on the ground, apparently in thought. Once or twice she glanced casually round the room. A shade of disgust was visible in her expression; she looked as though she were afraid of contamination in this place.
She mechanically arranged her dress, and fidgeted uncomfortably, eventually changing her seat to the other end of the sofa. Probably she was unconscious of her own movements; but this very unconsciousness added to the offensiveness of their suggested meaning.
At length she looked straight into Nastasiaâs eyes, and instantly read all there was to read in her rivalâs expression. Woman understood woman! Aglaya shuddered.
âYou know of course why I requested this meeting?â she said at last, quietly, and pausing twice in the delivery of this very short sentence.
âNoâI know nothing about it,â said Nastasia, drily and abruptly.
Aglaya blushed. Perhaps it struck her as very strange and impossible that she should really be sitting here and waiting for âthat womanâsâ reply to her question.
At the first sound of Nastasiaâs voice a shudder ran through her frame. Of course âthat womanâ observed and took in all this.
âYou know quite well, but you are pretending to be ignorant,â said Aglaya, very low, with her eyes on the ground.
âWhy should I?â asked Nastasia Philipovna, smiling slightly.
âYou want to take advantage of my position, now that I am in your house,â continued Aglaya, awkwardly.
âFor that position YOU are to blame and not I,â said Nastasia, flaring up suddenly. âI did not invite YOU, but you me; and to this moment I am quite ignorant as to why I am thus honoured.â
Aglaya raised her head haughtily.
âRestrain your tongue!â she said. âI did not come here to fight you with your own weapons.
âOh! then you did come âto fight,â I may conclude? Dear me!âand I thought you were clevererââ
They looked at one another with undisguised malice. One of these women had written to the other, so lately, such letters as we have seen; and it all was dispersed at their first meeting. Yet it appeared that not one of the four persons in the room considered this in any degree strange.
The prince who, up to yesterday, would not have believed that he could even dream of such an impossible scene as this, stood and listened and looked on, and felt as though
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