My Personal Hell on Earth by true.vampire.witch NJS (best motivational books of all time .TXT) 📖

got up and left the room went to MY room and laid down in my bed and silently beat myself up for saying that I'm so stupid I need to stop telling him everything but if I dont he gets mad at me but the he won't tell me shit!!

UGH!! I got up and went to the window we were 5 stories up that should be enough to kill me. This was the selfish and easy way out but I didn't give a shit anymore I wanted DONE!!
I got up and walked over to the door and turned the lock, as soon as he tried to get in he would no something was up. I had to move fast.

Walking back to the window I knew I wouldn't be able to do it but it like it took me to cut myself that was easier then this still have the scare from when my mom yelled at me my escape I never told anyone, but the jump was a nice thought.

I heard the door jiggle and then there was a loud pounding on it.

"Jean! Are you okay?" he sounded nervous

I decided not to answer him I silently moved his bed in front of the door with my mind no way if I moved it physicaly it would be silent and sat with my legs swinging outside the window I was being stupid and acting like a braty bitch by hey I'm entitled to a little bit but I will say I am going overboard.

He kept bangin on the door I gave him his powers back as soon as I went I to my room so if he couldn't be all macho man and bust down the door physicaly he was ganna do it mentaly.

He called my name againg getting more and more nervous.

Still like the little bitch i knew I was I didn't answer. That was to much for him he busted it down mentaly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" He yelled as he was rushing towards me.

I still didn't answer him I just sat there and beat myself up for being stupid.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE!" he yelled stilll comeing for me he said this all quickly but time in my mind had slowed down I mad no move to obay him but no move to go any further into the whole I was digging.

It wasn't just him everything crashed down on me all at once and I started to cry inside only I wouldn't let him see me cry ever again!

I never saw him cry on his own I had to help him. He would never show me truly who he was and odd as it sounds I liked it I like that I liked him it was as if I had no choice in the matter.

Finally time caught up with itself and he was by my side renching me from the window, and pulling me close.

I stiffened "Let me go." my voice much calmer then the total and utter distruction that was going on in my brain.

"HELL NO!" he said starting to get a little angry as he began to drag me away from the window.

Still mega calm but firm, "PLEASE let me go then!" I said resisting him.

"Bite me!" he said with a bitter edge to his voice

So I did and I wasn't gentle like I wanted a kiss I tasted blood.

I felt him grimmace under the pain but he continued to drag me away, I got pissed but I didn't kick and scream like I wanted to I just became dead wait and slumped there on the floor his hand still firmly placed around my arm.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? YOU WERE JUST GANNA LEAVE ME WITH ALL THIS CRAP?" He screamed at me

"No.... what crap with me gone your life would go back to normal not like you ever cared anyway"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" he said frustration and confution both playing a part of his emocions... that he alowed me to see.
His voice got softer "I ALWAYS cared about you" he paused calming fighting dome othe emotion that he wouldn't let me see "and always will"

I looked him in the eyes and said, "Yeah I've been seeing that alot lately" I said sarcasticly "all you do is "care" WHY? WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME ALONE? WHY YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED?" I was screaming at him trying to think of something totally crule to say to him and then I had "I HATE YOU!" I started to hit is cheast screaming I hate you over and over again.

"WHY WHY YOU GOTTA GO AND MAKE ME FEEL? WHY WHY! YOU CAN STOP PRETENEDING NO ONE IS HERE TO SEE THE ACT AND HOW YOUR AN PUTSTANDING CITIZEN! GO DIE IN A HOLE!" I paused to breath "I HATE YOU! I wish I never met you!" I screamed and continued to hit his cheast

Then I snapped and with one last hit I slumped into his body molded into him sick of living, of my life.

He held me close not saying a word just held me we sat on the bed the stress getting to me I felt like I was ganna pass out he continued to hold me as he laid back on the bed I silently cried as much as I hated it I still felt safe in his arms. With my head on his cheast listen to his heart beat I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning thinking ge would be gone I kinda hoped he would be I moved slitely and he adjusted himself so i could move freely.

I say up and looked at him and asked again "Why? Why do you care what happens to me, why you of all people? You had a life you had friends, family, and you gave it all up for me why?" I pauusrd and answered my own question "Becaue you didn't think you would have to stay with me you just thought it would be a fun little check on Nat and go home. Didn't you?" I asked the question but it wasn't really a question

I sighed "you never know, why do you always have to show up and ruin everything? Your so stupid and idiotic but you also just so... Nevermind it's not important. I wish you did know though."

I had a feeling he knew he just didn't wanna tell me what else is new no one ever told me anything anyways

And I asked the question he avoided "Why do you care so much anyway I'm nothing but white trash if that" I said sounding like a bitch again

"No you not" he said it as if it was the end of the conversation then he didn't know me

"Then what am I?" I asked truly curious of what he had to say I knew I was not worth more then a piece of shit was maybe not even but I HAD to here what he had to say

"just I don't know...!" he said ending ubrubtly

I sat up and pulled away from him fast, my anger rising again he was hiding from me going back onto his shell I could feel it and by the look in his eyes he knew I was getting pissed... again.

I got up off the bed went to the window opened it and stuck my head out.

It was a beautiful day bright sunny 'GREAT!' I thought exasperated I sat down on the windowsill the night before still on my mind but unsure of what to make of it thinking maybe I should still jump while he's acting stupid.

Before I even had the thought he was up by my side pulled me away from the window and had it shut and locked in one fluid motion.

My mind almost automaticly started to check him out but not the parts that other girls check out like his butt and muscles ect., but like I say so much I am sooo NOT like other girls! I checked out his hair that I loved so much, the way he carried his body in fake happiness, the way his eyes shined when they looked at anything. But most of all I noticed the pain in his eyes and it cut deep pain I had caused a very small portion of that pain but i caused it nevertheless I wish I could take it all away I became sad.

Almost immediately he turned and asked "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." I said trying to push it outa my mind and convince myself as much as him that it was nothing

I could tell how he wasn't ganna let this go but he did for now

I tried to get passed him back to the window but he grabbed me and pulled me away I was really starting to get sick of being man handled like that so I tired to pull away from him but his grip just got tighter "Let me go!" I said getting so fustraited by how he was hadleing me.
"if you keep man handleing me imma kick your ass!" I said viciously

He didn't let me go but he got gentler and he bent down to me and whispered in my ear and said "Bring it!" to my imma kick your ass comment.

I smiled so evily at him I think I saw some fear in his eyes I renched myself away from him I shoved him on the bed sat on him and started to kiss him.

But as soon as he relaxed I rolled off and he was picked up and shoved against the wall and i mentaly really kicked him in the ass I waited to see what he would do to try and free himself, but before I knew what happened my ass was pinched, I made a small yelp of surprise, and I was on the wall next of him.

I laughed so hard and so did he and we both lost concentration and hit the floor i calmed myself down and hit him in the arm, he rubbed it acting like it hurt, I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Don't do that again!" but I was smileing

"Do what?!" he said makeing his eyes overly inocent.

"Pinch my ass." I said still smileing, but sticking my tongue out at him

He chuckled

"Do It again and I'll turn you into an ass ee-haw" I said bursting into giggles

He full out laughed and did it again

I yelped again but melted back into giggles and smacked him in the cheast and said "You are so damn irritateing you know that?"

"what I'm sorry I wasn't listening" he said still laughing

I hit him again and said "Do it again and imma lick your face!"

He did it again and I stuck my tongue out to lick his face but he turned and bit it before it touched his skin. I gave a small scream of surprise and pulled away "your an ass you know that"

"So you said many times" he rolled his eyes

I stuck my tongue out at him, and rolled away I started to get up

He was up in a flash and was by my side he pulled me up and I started to walk away and he