My Personal Hell on Earth by true.vampire.witch NJS (best motivational books of all time .TXT) 📖

pinned me to the bedroom wall

I put my legs around him and tried to pull the back of his knees forward but it didn't work he got in my face and laughed.

I struggled "Get off me!" I said still trying to get my legs up to his cheast so I could push but he got to close I could barley move my breath caught "Get off!" I repeated again

"No" he said smileing evily at me but still himself

That got me back to being the two year old again "Get off me!" I whined

"No" he said again

I stuck my tongue out (again) at him.

He continued to hold me there for what felt like hours but only a few seconds finally I said "Let. Me. Go." I chopped up each word trying to get him to get off but kinda sorta not wanting him to I'm a weird ass chick

He crushed me into the wall a little more. I gasped in surprise as he got really close to my face and said "No" his breath smelling so sweet and the word wrapped around me he was so close and he laughed at my glazed over expression.

I tried to move my hands but he moved then so they were above my head but didn't back away he was still so close

"GET OFF!" I said getting more and more pissed by the fact that he wouldn't listen to me

He laughed "No. You know your cute when your mad"

"Then I'm ganna look DAMN sexy if you don't get off me NOW!" I said not raiseing my voice but still haveing danger in them

"Fine" he said backing away but stilll close enough to touch I had to force myself not to

I stepped away from the wall ad will my foot halfway to the floor I was off my feet and on my bed pinned... Again

"BEN! GET OFF OR IMMA LOOK SO DAMN SEXY YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE STRAIGHT!" I screamed at him

His smile widened and he let me up I was expecting what he did next he tried to pin me again but I ducked and flipped him on the bed and sat on him and held his arms up above his head and he laughed at me "You know" he said trying hard not to laugh again "most guys have to pay to have this done to them"

I rolled my eyes "yeah but you arnt most guys are you and this is SO not worth any money I'm not worth anything anyway" I looked away from him and started to get off

He pulled me back on the bed and flipped me so he was on top "Hey, Hey now your worth millions I just don't have it!"

"I wish. I'm not worth more then a blade of grass if even that!" I was so upset I was haveing fun and now I was sad god my life sucked I looked away from him not wantin to meet his gaze "I've never felt loved nothing could love me who could love a thing like me who has the devil rideing her ass!" I was getting angry ugh I hate emotions "you shouldn't be here you should be at home with your family and all those girls rideing you ass" I smiled sadly at him "you shouldn't be here not with me I'm not worth it i never will be your the best thing that has ever happened to me and I ruined you life!" I practicaly screamed at him "you deserve better then me WAY better!" I spoke sadly still not looking at him

"your wrong" he said

"No I'm not. How can you care you shouldn't care all Ive done to you is fuck up your life and that's it what have I giving you? The FRICKING devil himself has possesed you and you still stay I'm not worth it, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not" I kept repeating "I'm not" over and over again still not looking at everything except the one thing that can make me feel he was so close he was touching me and I was pushing him away.

He turned my face to him and said "Wrong you are so worth it" then he kissed me I was so stressed so stiff he was so strong so together why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn't he have been mean to me at school then he wouldn't be here wouldn't be in danger! Ugh he pulled me closer to him and I relaxed molding my body into his and we kissed our kisses were full of sorry and regret and pain and anger and... Love? I know mine was but was his? I pulled away from him and again we slept together me in his arms snuggling close into the forgiving embrace of my... Friend? Boyfriend? Ah who cares he was here and that's all I cared about he was with me and I with him I prayed that would never change.

I woke up before he did and just layed there but of course as usual I had to get up I felt all gross and sticky I needed a shower.
I stayed in there for about an hour thinking about things...
I was awakened from my thoughts by a loud banging "Hey you okay in there!?"

"Fine" I said back "Just thinking is all"

"about what" he asked

"Nothing just thinking about some things" I said sounding less tiered then I really felt

"what kinda things?" he asked again

"UGH! Can I please have some alone time!?" I yelled

"sorry sorry calm down" he said not sounding at all sorry but still wanting to know what the things were

The truth is, is that I... I just wasn't sure I could do this anymore I had to leave I had to get away from him I felt safe in his arms but not around him he made me feel so vulnerable and I didn't like it! I had to leave I had to get away from him but I didn't think I could. GOD why did he have to have such a hold on me! WHY? As if the water running down my face wasn't enough tears started to wet my face as well.
Why am I such an IDIOT!! "I feel like a ho" I mummbled to myself.

Again he came to the door and banged on it "Jean is something wrong?" He asked clearly worried

"Go away!" I said through clenched teeth

"Jean what's wrong?" he asked getting close to hystarics

"GO AWAY!" I screeched and I heard him fly and hit the wall and sink to the ground. I hadn't ment to do that but it felt so good.

I heard a voice whisper 'good girl come back to me Elizabeth'

"NO!" I screamed and fell to the floor in the shower as pain ripped throughh my body

And kept repeating "no" as another knock on the door sounded but I couldn't hear it very well it was faint and so was I I heard my name once twice thrice then I heard the door smash to the floor.

I was laying in the shower curled up like a a frightened snake I saw feet and hands that tryed to grab me but I shoved them off of me and kept repeating "No go away not good for you" and I slowly rocked back and forth, back and forth.

"No" he said trying to comfort me but only makeing matters worse couldn't he see he was the cause of this? He made me feel I didn't wanna feel I couldn't aford to feel

I'm worth nothing I never have been worth anything to anyone no ones cared much about me ever no one has ever really loved me Ben didn't even love me it was just I wasthenonly girl there that he could aford to get close to without worrying about her being killed he didn't care I was just convinient. He never did care and never will.

With that thought on my mind I slid withing myself and hid from him, from what I was supposed to do, from everything and everyone I was in my own world gone of evil and hurt just me how I liked it how I've always really liked it if people had left me alone at school no friends no jerks I would be fine I wish people would just leave me alone and I wish they always did.

No one cares about stupid fugly Jean and no one ever will.

He shut the water off and put a towel over me then picked me up and layed me in bed. He layed next to me telling me it's ganna be okay over and over again.

I started to warm up as soon as he touched me I couldn't help it he was amazeing I looked up at him and just stared I got lost deep in his eyes, I just wanted to dive into them and never leave again I snuggled close to him relaxeing calming as he ran his fingers up and down my back and through my wet hair I fell asleep again feeling safe and vulnerable at the same time.

I woke up calm and collected I stood up quickly snatching up my towel and got dressed he was stil sleeping I went to the couch and layed ther for a while thinking, dreaming, hopeing, wishing all the things I should really stop doing I turned myself so I was on my side and went back to sleep wearing a T-shirt and boxers I sighed deeeply as I went back into what I hoped would be quiet bliss.

I was wrong.

I was in a beautiful clearing in the woods smileing at the sounds and smells of nature then almost as soon as my shoulders relaxed I heard a noise exactly behind me I thought it would be a normal one of my dreams where one of the "OMG! HE'S SO SEXY!" guys that I normaly snaped at and was rude to.

I smiled in antisipation but I could sence it before I could smell it, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and evey inch of my body was screaming at me to run until my lungs gave out but I was rooted to the spot. I was not in control of my body, then I smelled it the awful stench of death, lost souls and stollen ones I could here their screams and plead for freedom which I new would never come to them.

"Hello my little Elizabeth How are we tonight?" he spoke as if it came from many voices in many directions.

So the coward did not come alone, scared of me I'm sure.

He chuckled as the stench of him wrapped itself aroud my body makeing me feel dirty almost at once.

"Now Elizabeth you do not believe that i am frightened of you do you?" he asked already knowing the answer

I most deffinately did not believe that he was in the slightest bit scared of me but I was only trying to calm myself down from the scream that was building in the very core of my being.

He now laughed damn him to Hell.

"Been there done that" he spoke now with a smokey suductive tone.

Did I just think HIS voice was suductive? BARF!

"Now, now Elisabeth no need