My Personal Hell on Earth by true.vampire.witch NJS (best motivational books of all time .TXT) 📖

With my head on his cheast listen to his heart beat I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning thinking ge would be gone I kinda hoped he would be I moved slitely and he adjusted himself so i could move freely.

I say up and looked at him and asked again "Why? Why do you care what happens to me, why you of all people? You had a life you had friends, family, and you gave it all up for me why?" I pauusrd and answered my own question "Becaue you didn't think you would have to stay with me you just thought it would be a fun little check on Nat and go home. Didn't you?" I asked the question but it wasn't really a question

I sighed "you never know, why do you always have to show up and ruin everything? Your so stupid and idiotic but you also just so... Nevermind it's not important. I wish you did know though."

I had a feeling he knew he just didn't wanna tell me what else is new no one ever told me anything anyways

And I asked the question he avoided "Why do you care so much anyway I'm nothing but white trash if that" I said sounding like a bitch again

"No you not" he said it as if it was the end of the conversation then he didn't know me

"Then what am I?" I asked truly curious of what he had to say I knew I was not worth more then a piece of shit was maybe not even but I HAD to here what he had to say

"just I don't know...!" he said ending ubrubtly

I sat up and pulled away from him fast, my anger rising again he was hiding from me going back onto his shell I could feel it and by the look in his eyes he knew I was getting pissed... again.

I got up off the bed went to the window opened it and stuck my head out.

It was a beautiful day bright sunny 'GREAT!' I thought exasperated I sat down on the windowsill the night before still on my mind but unsure of what to make of it thinking maybe I should still jump while he's acting stupid.

Before I even had the thought he was up by my side pulled me away from the window and had it shut and locked in one fluid motion.

My mind almost automaticly started to check him out but not the parts that other girls check out like his butt and muscles ect., but like I say so much I am sooo NOT like other girls! I checked out his hair that I loved so much, the way he carried his body in fake happiness, the way his eyes shined when they looked at anything. But most of all I noticed the pain in his eyes and it cut deep pain I had caused a very small portion of that pain but i caused it nevertheless I wish I could take it all away I became sad.

Almost immediately he turned and asked "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." I said trying to push it outa my mind and convince myself as much as him that it was nothing

I could tell how he wasn't ganna let this go but he did for now

I tried to get passed him back to the window but he grabbed me and pulled me away I was really starting to get sick of being man handled like that so I tired to pull away from him but his grip just got tighter "Let me go!" I said getting so fustraited by how he was hadleing me.
"if you keep man handleing me imma kick your ass!" I said viciously

He didn't let me go but he got gentler and he bent down to me and whispered in my ear and said "Bring it!" to my imma kick your ass comment.

I smiled so evily at him I think I saw some fear in his eyes I renched myself away from him I shoved him on the bed sat on him and started to kiss him.

But as soon as he relaxed I rolled off and he was picked up and shoved against the wall and i mentaly really kicked him in the ass I waited to see what he would do to try and free himself, but before I knew what happened my ass was pinched, I made a small yelp of surprise, and I was on the wall next of him.

I laughed so hard and so did he and we both lost concentration and hit the floor i calmed myself down and hit him in the arm, he rubbed it acting like it hurt, I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Don't do that again!" but I was smileing

"Do what?!" he said makeing his eyes overly inocent.

"Pinch my ass." I said still smileing, but sticking my tongue out at him

He chuckled

"Do It again and I'll turn you into an ass ee-haw" I said bursting into giggles

He full out laughed and did it again

I yelped again but melted back into giggles and smacked him in the cheast and said "You are so damn irritateing you know that?"

"what I'm sorry I wasn't listening" he said still laughing

I hit him again and said "Do it again and imma lick your face!"

He did it again and I stuck my tongue out to lick his face but he turned and bit it before it touched his skin. I gave a small scream of surprise and pulled away "your an ass you know that"

"So you said many times" he rolled his eyes

I stuck my tongue out at him, and rolled away I started to get up

He was up in a flash and was by my side he pulled me up and I started to walk away and he pinned me to the bedroom wall

I put my legs around him and tried to pull the back of his knees forward but it didn't work he got in my face and laughed.

I struggled "Get off me!" I said still trying to get my legs up to his cheast so I could push but he got to close I could barley move my breath caught "Get off!" I repeated again

"No" he said smileing evily at me but still himself

That got me back to being the two year old again "Get off me!" I whined

"No" he said again

I stuck my tongue out (again) at him.

He continued to hold me there for what felt like hours but only a few seconds finally I said "Let. Me. Go." I chopped up each word trying to get him to get off but kinda sorta not wanting him to I'm a weird ass chick

He crushed me into the wall a little more. I gasped in surprise as he got really close to my face and said "No" his breath smelling so sweet and the word wrapped around me he was so close and he laughed at my glazed over expression.

I tried to move my hands but he moved then so they were above my head but didn't back away he was still so close

"GET OFF!" I said getting more and more pissed by the fact that he wouldn't listen to me

He laughed "No. You know your cute when your mad"

"Then I'm ganna look DAMN sexy if you don't get off me NOW!" I said not raiseing my voice but still haveing danger in them

"Fine" he said backing away but stilll close enough to touch I had to force myself not to

I stepped away from the wall ad will my foot halfway to the floor I was off my feet and on my bed pinned... Again

"BEN! GET OFF OR IMMA LOOK SO DAMN SEXY YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE STRAIGHT!" I screamed at him

His smile widened and he let me up I was expecting what he did next he tried to pin me again but I ducked and flipped him on the bed and sat on him and held his arms up above his head and he laughed at me "You know" he said trying hard not to laugh again "most guys have to pay to have this done to them"

I rolled my eyes "yeah but you arnt most guys are you and this is SO not worth any money I'm not worth anything anyway" I looked away from him and started to get off

He pulled me back on the bed and flipped me so he was on top "Hey, Hey now your worth millions I just don't have it!"

"I wish. I'm not worth more then a blade of grass if even that!" I was so upset I was haveing fun and now I was sad god my life sucked I looked away from him not wantin to meet his gaze "I've never felt loved nothing could love me who could love a thing like me who has the devil rideing her ass!" I was getting angry ugh I hate emotions "you shouldn't be here you should be at home with your family and all those girls rideing you ass" I smiled sadly at him "you shouldn't be here not with me I'm not worth it i never will be your the best thing that has ever happened to me and I ruined you life!" I practicaly screamed at him "you deserve better then me WAY better!" I spoke sadly still not looking at him

"your wrong" he said

"No I'm not. How can you care you shouldn't care all Ive done to you is fuck up your life and that's it what have I giving you? The FRICKING devil himself has possesed you and you still stay I'm not worth it, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not" I kept repeating "I'm not" over and over again still not looking at everything except the one thing that can make me feel he was so close he was touching me and I was pushing him away.

He turned my face to him and said "Wrong you are so worth it" then he kissed me I was so stressed so stiff he was so strong so together why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn't he have been mean to me at school then he wouldn't be here wouldn't be in danger! Ugh he pulled me closer to him and I relaxed molding my body into his and we kissed our kisses were full of sorry and regret and pain and anger and... Love? I know mine was but was his? I pulled away from him and again we slept together me in his arms snuggling close into the forgiving embrace of my... Friend? Boyfriend? Ah who cares he was here and that's all I cared about he was with me and I with him I prayed that would never change.

I woke up before he did and just layed there but of course as usual I had to get up I felt all gross and sticky I needed a shower.
I stayed in there for about an hour thinking about things...
I was awakened from my thoughts by a loud banging "Hey you okay in there!?"

"Fine" I said back "Just thinking is all"

"about what" he asked

"Nothing just thinking about some