Untitled(for now) by Tiffany Anyel (elon musk reading list txt) 📖

whats his name?" "She doesnt know yet." "What? How does she not know his name?" "She didnt ask, I guess." Glenda looks at me. I realized I had not looked up once. "Yin?" "Yea?" "How do you not know his name?" "It just never came up. I guess" Gary laughs, "How does that happen?" "It just happened." "Well did you tell him yours?" "No." Glenda looks at me, and gets up to put her plate away. "So, wheres he from?" I look at her. "Let me guess, that didnt come up either?" Gary smirks. "No, it didnt."

I had put my plate in the washer. "I need a smoke." "I bet you do." I ignore her and head to my room to get my hoodie. I reenter the kitchen, and open the back door. "Wait for me." I shut the door behind me. Gary opens the door. "Didnt you hear me?" "You dont even smoke." "So?" "So, why are you out here?" "Somebodys mad." I sit on the swing, and light my cigarette. Gary sits beside me. "Are you mad?" I stare out, and gaze at the stars. Beautiful. I sigh. "Yin?" "What." "What you thinking about?" "Nothing. The stars." He looks up. "Yea, they are beautiful, arent they?" "Yes, they are. Have you ever wondered what else might be out there?" "You mean like aliens and stuff?" "I just mean..like anything. Do you think this is all there is?" " No. I believe in Heaven." "I dont just mean Heaven. I mean where we are now. Earth. The world around us. Do you ever think we may be missing out on something?" "Like what?" "I dont know. I mean what if there is more, and we just dont know about it. Ya know? Like we think this is all there is, because this is all we see. But what if its not?" "I dont know, I mean maybe there is. But how can we know?" "If you had a chance to know, do you think you would take it?" "What do you mean?" "Like would you take the blue pill or the red one?" "You talking about The Matrix?" "No. Its a metaphor Gair. Like if someone wanted to show you more, than what you have always thought to be true. Would you let them?" "I dont know. It would depend on the someone, I guess." "Why?" "Cause if there an asshole, then no. But if I felt like they knew what they were talking about, maybe. And if they were really hot too that would be a plus." I shove his shoulder and smile. "What about you?" I sigh. "I dont know. Maybe?" "Your taking that question alittle to seriously." "Huh? Why you say that?" "Cause you seem to be thinkng about it why too hard." I unforrowed my brow. "I was not." He ignores me."I guess I should be heading home." He gets up and stretches, "Ahh..I needed that." I smile, and put out my cigarette. We walk upstairs. I open my door. We stack all the games, and put them on my bed. "Aww..we didnt play Scrabble." "You and your Scrabble. Will play it next time." He puts them in his arms, and we leave my room. "I didnt see Glenda." 'Shes probably finishing up her shift. Terry comes in soon." "Oh okay." I open the front door. We walk out. "Call me tomorrow okay?" He walks to his car. "Okay. Drive safe. And I love you." He opens his car door. "I Love you too." I wait until he drives away, then head back inside.

I had been laying on th couch, zoned out, watching a movie. "Yin?" "Yea." "Do you want a snack or something?" "No. I just ate. Oh, hey Terry." "Hey, no you didnt. That was like three hours ago. You have been watching tv, ever since." I look at the clock. "Oh." "Yea. So you sure you dont want anything? I'll get it for you." "No, thats okay. Thanks though." I get up, and walk to the kitchen. Terry follows. I grab a bottled water and some Cheez Its. "I would of gotten it." "Oh, I know. But I got it." "Glen told me about the plate of chocolate today." She gives me a look. I smile. "A plate? Really Yin? I thought you gave me the bag last night." "It wasnt a full plate. And I only took a few." She rolls her eyes, and heads to the bathroom. I open my bottled water, and plop back on the couch.

"Terry, do we have The Matrix?" She comes in the room. I am on my knees, looking in the entertainment center. "The Matrix?" "Yea. You know, Neo.." "Oh yea. His a gorgeous man. I dont think we do." I frown. "Who Neo or Keanu?" "What? Its the same person." "Technically, yes. But then again, Neo can fly." " Yea, but Neo's not real." "How do you know?" "Yin, are you serious? Because its a movie. Its called 'acting'" "So, whose to say there isnt a 'Neo' somewhere? He could be real." "Someone wrote it. As in, they used their imagination. Meaning not real." I close the drawer, and sit back on the couch. "Whose to say whats real? In The Matrix, 'this' was not real." I gesture with my hands. "But we're not in The Matrix, are we?" I shrug. "You never know Terry. We could be plugged up to a machine right now." "Whatever." I laugh.
*
I had been walking. I dont know how long. I realize its dark. I look to the sky. I catch my breathe. Wow. I have never seen so many stars. The sky literally lit up. It felt beautiful. They seemed so close. Like I could reach out and touch one. They sparkled and danced. I smiled. I could gaze at them forever. I realized I had been gazing at them for awhile, and had not once wondered where I was. Or even how I got here. I fnally break my gaze with the sky. Last thing I remember is laying on the couch. I look around. I am standing in what appears to be a meadow. I feel the softest grass. I look down, and realize I am barefoot. I rub my toes through it. It feels good. I bend down to pick up a flower. Its blue. I turn it around in my hand, while the stars seem to beam down on it. I smile.

I was walking through the meadow, admiring the flowers, and gazing at the sky. I felt good. Like I could breath again. "I'm glad you like it." I stop. "Yea. Its me." I smile. "Someones happy to see me." I cant see you. "Do you want to?" I don't know. Maybe? I feel him smile. "Walk with me?" How can I walk with you, when I don't even know where you are? I immediately feel him next to me. I don't know how I do. I just do. "There, that better?" I could only nod my head. We had been walking in silence for awhile. Can you feel me, the way I feel you? "Yes." How do you feel with me? I suddenly stop. I feel my heart racing. And I feel nervous and excited. I feel..love. I catch my breath. "Does that answer your question?" I nod and concentrate on walking. I want to see you. "Why?" I don't know, because Id like too. "I'm not like you." What does that mean? "I am not who you expect to see." How do you know what I expect to see? "Turn around." I pause. I take a breath and slowly turn around. I stare at, what felt like, the most beautiful human. He looked transparent, like only a reflection. Or how Id imagine a hologram would look. But more solid, more real. I realize I am not looking at any one thing in particular. Like his eyes or what he wore. I seemed to be ignoring what I normally would of gave attention to. And find myself more wanting to know the person behind the reflection. He felt beautiful and familiar.

He had come to walk beside me. I realized I hadn't moved. We began walking. Or so I think. I realized we were moving, so I assumed we were. I could only breath. I realize, despite my nerves, I felt comfortable. Like I had walked with him a thousand times before. I found myself stealing glances at his.. reflection? He had dark hair, maybe black or a dark brown? Dark eyes, brown maybe? He wore, what looked like, dark jeans and a black shirt. And although I could feel, there was more to him, than what he was showing me. I couldn't help but admire what I saw. I noticed we had stopped walking. He was a few feet ahead of me. Looking at what I now realized was a body of water. I gaze out at the water, the stars made sparkle. "Beautiful," I hear myself say out loud. I feel him smiling. I turn to look at him. I noticed I still seemed to see him.. where I always did. Even though now, he also seemed to be standing right next to me.

I sit down, by the edge of the water. He sits beside me. I find myself staring at him. He turns his head to look at me. I look away. I slowly turn my head back in his direction. He copies me and meets my eyes. I quickly look away. And I slowly turn my head, he slowly turns his head. I laugh and play aggravated, "will you stop?" He looks at me, I look at him, and I feel us both share a moment together. It seemed like a split second, that felt like forever. I feel him bring me into his arms. We sat in silence for awhile. I pull away,"I should go," I hear myself say. He looks at me. I look at him. I find it hard to pull away. He leans his face to me. He waits. I wait.. .and our lips seem to be waiting. I turn… our lips touch. I catch my breath. and.. open my eyes.


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Text: This work is copyrighted by Tiffany Anyel
Publication Date: 03-28-2012

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