It's Your Baby by Belén Domínguez (any book recommendations txt) 📖

objects, but at this point, I just don't care anymore. I feel exhausted, betrayed, humiliated, everything at the same time. I just want to close my eyes and open them again, with everything back to normal. I would love to be able to forget that first night in that bar where I didn't fall in the trap of Finn Harries. I want to go back to when my life was easy, where I planned everything.

 

I covered my face with both of my hands and started crying. But not only for what those crazy fans are saying about me, but for being stupid. . .For being naïve and not putting a stop to Nash before it was too late. He crawled into my heart and I got too attached to him. Even if he doesn't feel the same about me, I can't stop loving him. I want to hate him, but a big part of me wants to run over to his place and hug him, kiss him, be in his warm and strong arms.

 

I grabbed the pillow and placed over my face, screaming at it, my voice muffled. "How could I've been so fucking stupid!?" I asked aloud. I want to stop crying so badly, but I can't. I freaking can't. . .

 

God, I want to fucking forget about him. . .

 

I want him out of my life, out of my heart. These last events that happened made me think of my options. About giving this baby for adoption. I wanted to talk things through with him, but apparently he doesn't care. He never cared of how I felt or for what I was going through. It seems like he cares just for one thing:

 

Fame.

 

Was my brother right? Is he like the rest and was just looking for sex?

 

I seriously didn't want to come to that conclusion.

 

Actually, I shouldn't hate him. . .I should hate myself. . .

 

I allowed this to happen, I let him into my life in the first place. It has been my fault all along, and just now do I realize that. Finn hurt me and played me like that because I trusted him too much. What was I expecting from a celebrity that huge? I wanted to laugh at the same time that my tears were rolling down my cheeks. Because in some way—in some sick and demented way—this is so funny. So fucking hilarious.

 

I have gone mad, I know.

 

But I prefer faking a laugh and pretending that this entire situation is funny, than keep on dwelling on my pain. I prefer stifling a giggle, than bawling my eyes out for that intensive looking boy. For that huge Pop Star that can't seem to stop popping in my head. I want to scream, cry, laugh, destroy everything around me, hug someone, all at the same time. . .Those thoughts were giving me a headache.

 

If I could just close my eyes and open them again, I would love to be in that same bar where my life changed completely, and walk away the second that that jerk sat next to me.

 

I wouldn't be pregnant and I wouldn't be with a broken heart. . .

 

If I could just rewind everything and forget him. . .

 

But I love him too much, I freaking love him too damn much and that makes me feel even worse. 

Chapter 53 - Gotta do it for Her

Finn's P.O.V

 

9 days. . .

 

9 days without Gwen.

 

9 days I have been a complete zombie on interviews, rehearsals, or meeting fans. I kept on walking around my apartment, not knowing what to do, where to go, I didn't have anything anymore. Without her laughter, smiles, kisses, warm hugs. Without her, I felt lost. I just couldn't think straight anymore. I wasn't even feeling good enough to make videos. But at this point, I didn't give a fuck.

 

I tried so hard to talk to my fans about stopping with their harassment towards Gwen. She doesn't deserve this. At all. 

 

I want to talk to her so badly. I want hold her in my arms and apologize for a million times more. I can't speak, sleep properly, I don't find strength to talk to anyone anymore. My only responses are mumbles.

 

I want to see her again, but I know she hates me to the guts. I didn't mean any of this to happen. I am a fucking idiot.

 

I hate myself.

 

I put her in this shit, and I didn't tell her the truth. I lied. I lied to her. . .Her trust for me is far gone.

 

I lied on my bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking about possibilities for her to forgive me. Of course, nothing came to mind. But, I can't give up. . .

 

I tried to give her space, for her to think, for her to be away from me. I was basically dead these days without hearing her voice for so long. Was it truly 9 days? Because it feels like it's been a year. Am I solemnly desperate at the moment? Yes, answering your question, yes I am desperate. . .I want her. I need her. I need her lips. Her hugs. I want to just talk to me. I am scared but at the same time so damn happy for all these rushing feelings. I want her with me right now and this ‘giving her time’ shit is getting on my nerves.

 

I stared at my phone, with the crazy idea that she will actually text me. That she will at least call me? I don't know. . .I wish more than anything for that to happen, but of course it doesn't. What the hell am I thinking? I held the golden necklace that she threw to the ground. I was terrified when she did that—because that truly meant she wanted things to be over and to never see me again. I am not that stupid. I didn't try to ‘butter her up’ like she assumed. I gave her this necklace to prove my love for her. 

 

Then an idea popped up. Not something that I'm sure will work, but is some basic approach. So I can't be near her, right? But I can at least give her something. I grabbed a pen and a small piece of paper, proceeding to write a note. I hurriedly grabbed my keys and bolted out the door.

 

I knew where I had to go and I was not giving up. I wasn't at least without a fight. I would do anything for that hazel-eyed girl that stole my heart.

Chapter 54 - Written Promises

Gwen’s P.O.V

 

9 days.

 

I haven't spoken to that moron for 9 freaking days and I'm still hurting. My heart aches for him—something I thought would have vanish away at this point. I rubbed at my growing bump, still not believing it's been this long since I figured out I was having a baby.

 

“It's almost time” I thought to myself. The day where I can finally see this baby for the first time. That day will be the one where I will have to give this baby away. I let go a heavy sigh and put a star and of hair behind my ear. This indeed for the best. Giving this baby to a more responsible adult, is the best decision. But, why do I feel like I'm committing the worst crime of all? Why do I feel so guilty? That horrible feeling is eating me alive. 

 

I shook my head, trying my best to put the thought of Finn in the back of my head. He's not worth my time anymore. He just proved to me that apparently what we had wasn't real, he was just acting for his fans to be happy. But, what about me? I don't want to keep whining for the fact that he will always choose someone else over me. How could I ever think that someone as famous as him, would be interested in someone like me? He has every single girl in the palm of his hands. With his perfect white set of teeth, his dazzling blue eyes, his warm and comforting smile. . .Ugh.

 

“Just stop it, Gwen” I thought in my head. I want to stop thinking about him. . .Why is it impossible? Why the hell did I allow that asshole to crawl so deep into my heart?

 

I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and re-read for the thousandth time that text he sent me before leaving my driveway. I wanted to smile at his words but had to stop and in my head scream at my heart for being so weak. My head needs to be focused in what truly matters, and a boy who hurt me this much isn't worth it. He is not worth it.

 

I heard a tap on my door, which made me turn around. Alec stood there with his wide smile. I eyed him for a moment before giving him a small smile myself. He hasn't brought up the fact that I've been acting like a complete zombie—which I'm totally thankful for. As hard as it is for me to admit it, I just have to. . .I am a complete disaster without that boy that stole my heart. Dammit.

 

“Hey, sis” he said and walked towards me. I left my phone back in the nightstand and crossed my arms across my chest.

 

“Hey, what's up?”

 

“Well, Dani is worried about you. Mom and dad are worried about you—they're basically starting to think you're depressed—and me, well, I am the one that is worried the most” he said with a frown. I let go a heavy sigh and sat down at the edge of my bed.

 

“If you're thinking I'm cutting myself, I'm not” I chuckled, trying to joke around, but his face didn't soften. “Look, Alec, with this pregnancy thing, I just don't feel like doing much. In fact, I just want to get this over with”

 

“I get that you're going through such tough time, but please. . .You can't behave like this. Is not good for you. And I know, I fucking know it has nothing to do with the pregnancy. Last time I checked, you were happy because I sort of ‘accepted’ your relationship with that ass—I mean, Finn. Now, you're here almost every day without a coherent response, and just walking around with nowhere to go" he said and sat down next to me. “Did Finn. . .Do something to you?”

 

I didn't want any trouble, so I just shook my head, “No, this has nothing to do with him”

 

“Why do I feel like you're