It's Your Baby by Belén Domínguez (any book recommendations txt) 📖

said and stood in front of me. I looked up, his hair was all messy like if he ran his fingers in it several times, and had a concerned look on his face.

“What do you want?” I tried to stay as calm as possible, I truly didn't want to make a scene right here in the public's eye. He stared at his surroundings before looking back at me.

“I want to explain” he said. I stood up from the bench, trying to control my anger. I started walking away but he grabbed my hand, not allowing me to move any further. I glared at him, and tried to get away from his grip, but he didn't budge.

“Let go off my arm, Finn. Now” I said, trying to sound as menacing as possible. I didn't want to see him, because I knew I would end up crying again, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. He stared at me for a moment, but still he wouldn't let go. He pulled me a bit closer to him and closed his eyes briefly before looking back at me.

“I am so—” he stopped for a moment, taking a long sigh. "I am so fucking sorry, Gwen. I never planned on hurting you like that. . .Everything just got off hands, and–and—"

“You thought that keeping your reputation was more important than me, right?” I said and forcefully got out of his grip. I don't know what the hell does he think he's going to get here, apologizing? What he did is already done, and it doesn't matter what he says or does, I can't even look at him without feeling disgusted. I stared at the ground, but soon he brought my chin up for me to face him. I closed my eyes tightly, one tear rolled down my cheek.

Hurt.

Pain.

Betrayal.

My heart cracked in a billion pieces as I picture him smiling to himself while writing those tweets, while lying to all of his fans. I am furious, sad, broken. . .He made me believe I was special, that he was actually into me. He made me believe that those moments we had. . .Meant something. But here I am, crying pathetically in front of the only boy in my entire life, that made me be head over heels but at the same time, heartbroken. . .

“Gwen, please don't cry—”

“What do you want me to do then!?” I screamed exasperated, as I backed away from him. “Do you expect to see me dancing around happy with life after you lied to me? After you made me go through this? So, not only you made me pregnant, but also you say those horrible things behind my back and expect me to be alright? It doesn't fucking work like that, Finn, it doesn't!” I folded my arms, he tried to walk towards me but I raised my hand for him to stop. “And to top it all off, you come here when I clearly told you not to talk to me ever again. Seriously, what is wrong with you?”

“I came here to explain to you, Gwen” he said, his eyes were glassy, but you know what? I won't put up with his bullshit anymore.

“Explain what, huh? You are so unbelievable! I can't believe I ever wasted my time with you. . .”

“You deserve an explanation, babe—”

“Don't you fucking dare call me babe. I am not your babe, Finn”

“Gwen, listen—”

“Oh, my God, is that why you gave me this necklace?” I asked as I touched it. I ripped it off my neck and held it in front of him. “You gave it to me because you wanted to butter me up?” I asked, angry tears were now streaming down my cheeks. “But you know what? You're right, is not your fault, is my fault for allowing you into my life, for ever giving you a chance, for ever talking to you in that bar. Everything is my fault” I stared at the golden heart shaped necklace and threw it to the ground. “I don't want it any more, I don't want to see the proof of my stupidity”

“Bab–Gwen, don't say that, don't ever say that. . .Please, just—” one tear rolled down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away. I tried not to feel compassion over seeing him like this, I need to stand my ground and be firm. He hurt me, I shouldn't show weakness.

“Cut the act, Finn, we both know you don't feel that way. . .You just got what you wanted. Taking a girl's virginity, have some fun, and then poof! Out of your life. I'm sure you never expected bumping with the girl you had sex with one month later, pregnant if may I add. So, please, don't act like you care”

“I do fucking care, Gwen! I do, I do, I fucking do. All this time I was trying to protect you”

“From what? Are you sure you weren't trying to protect yourself?" I asked. This time he didn't wipe the tears that were now running down his cheeks. It was so weird to see him in this state, but I still needed to be strong and not let myself get persuaded with this blue-eyed boy who can't stop popping into my mind.

“I was trying to protect you from this" he said motioning at myself. "I can't stand seeing you in this much pain”

“If you don't like to see it, then why did you cause it?” I asked, trying to lower my voice. “I really want you to go”

“Yeah, you will come with me” he stated, taking a step towards me. I shook my head, taking a step back. I won't go with him; I don't want to be near him anymore. I fucking want him out of my life.

“What part of no don't you get, huh? How can you even think I want to be anywhere with you after this? You are seriously so messed up, just as messed up as your million followers” I said bitterly.

“You can't insult them like that, thanks to them I am where I am”

“Yeah, sure, alright, but also made you the fucked up person you are too” I let go a heavy sigh. “I don't mean to trash them, because I know they don't have the fault, you do. This all happened because of you. You seduced me, you came back to me claiming that you're a good person and that I should give you a chance. You are here now, trying to convince me that is not your fault when it is”

“I take responsibility for everything, Gwen. I didn't mean to cause you this. I planned to tell you multiple times. But, whenever I saw you smiling, or laughing, or the way you looked at me with such adoration in those beautiful and dazzling hazel eyes you have, it became 100x harder to do so. Every time I knew you would walk away from me, and hell I was right. I was fucking right”

“And I ask you again: What do you think was going to happen? That I would be happy for the fact you lied to me, and let your fans—who have no fucking clue of who I am—trash me like that?”

“It got out of hands, I didn't expect it was going to turn out like that, I swear!” he said raising his voice.

“Well, assuming things will never get you anywhere” I said, shaking my head. “If you don't go, then I will, cause this conversation is fucking over” I said and turned on my heels to leave. I heard his footsteps close behind me, so I turned around, just to be bumped with his hard chest.

“You can't leave me, Gwen” his voice cracked, and for a moment it pained me to see him that way. No, I can't soften at him, I am angry and upset, and showing him that watching him this way affects me, he might use it against me. I tried to back away, but he moved his hands to my hips, not letting me go. “I don't want it to end this way. I'll–I'll do anything! Anything for you, baby” he cried. I had to look away as I kept crying myself. And it might look weird watching these two people crying in the middle of the park, but you know what? I couldn't care less.

“There's nothing—and hear me clearly—absolutely nothing you can do or say, that can somehow change the way I feel about you right now” I said and pushed at his chest, to gain some space between us. Hurt was clear in his features as he tried to compose himself.

"Gwen, please" he said and kneeled in the floor, in front of me. He hugged my legs tightly not wanting to let go. It felt weird seeing him like this, doing this. This messes with my head even more, and I truly want him to stop. I looked down at him, and then at my surroundings. The sound of his crying against my legs was our only background for a moment.

“Finn, get up” I said, more like pleaded. But, he just shook his head and kept breaking down in front of me. “Get up, Finn, right now. Please” I said, biting my lower lip. He looked up at me, his bloodshot eyes looked brighter for some reason, his face reddened, and eyebrows were knitted together.

“Don't go” he said almost inaudible, but I heard it clearly. I shook my head and caressed his hair, he closed his eyes for a moment, somehow appreciating my gesture, but I quickly stopped.

“I can't do this. . .” I said, more like a whisper. “You have no idea how hurt I feel right now”

“Believe me, I know the feeling” he said. He stood up from the ground and held my face with both of his hands. With his thumb wiped a few tears that were coming out of my eyes, caressing my cheeks with his warm hand. I closed my eyes, I love it when he touches me like that. But, then I opened them again, and pulled away harshly.

“I have to go” I said and started walking away. This time, Finn wasn't following me. I was somehow glad but at the same time disappointed. That made me believe for sure I was crazy. I can't feel disappointed after what he did, how he made me feel. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest and throwing it to the ground, squashing it with someone's shoe over and over again. It hurt that bad. . .

“This isn't the end Gwen! You hear me?” I heard him shout, though I didn't turn around, I just kept walking. “I won't give up on us! I'll fight for you even if it's the last thing I do; I promise”

All I wanted to do is to forget that this ever happen, I am so mentally exhausted right now with so much crying and screaming. My energy drained the moment I started talking to Finn back there. Even though I wanted to, I didn't turn around, I didn't want to see him in that state anymore. I just wanted to go back home and lie in bed, hide under my covers like when I was a little kid.

Chapter 50 - Is Time to Show that you Care