It's Your Baby by Belén Domínguez (any book recommendations txt) 📖

made me feel in a way that no girl has ever been capable of making me feel. . .You stole my heart, Gwen, you made me genuinely happy. You made me smile for real. With you, my laugh became stronger, more meaningful. I stopped looking for other girls to have fun with because I already found the one I've been dreaming and looking for my entire life. That girl is you, Gwen”

 

I stared into his majestic chocolate brown eyes, that can't seem to stop making my legs go weak.

 

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, his grip became tighter, not allowing me to move any further. “Why did you come here? You're just making everything worse”

 

“No, I'm trying to explain to you that those things you read, weren't true. I've never regretted something in my entire life, I never had anything to regret, until now. . .I am here in front of you, trying to apologize for my mistakes. . .Gwen, I lo—”

 

“Finn, sometimes, sorry doesn't cut it. I need space, space to think, to try to comprehend things. I need time away from you, away from the spotlight that you forced on me. Do you think I like to know that there are like a million girls out there that are hating me right now? That think I am some kind of slut, or prostitute. You know what they're saying right now? They said I was sleeping with Cameron and that Shawn Mendes guy for money. How do you think that makes me feel?”

 

“Baby, I know, I-I know you must feel like shit, but I promise I will fix things”

 

“Don't you think you've done enough already?” I asked.

 

“Yes, but–but, I promised you I wouldn't give up, I won't Gwen. Believe my words when I say that I won't let you go without at least put a fight. I won't let go the only person in this entire universe that was able of making me happy”

 

“Then prove it” I responded. "Prove I am worth it, because I won't give in so easily, not this time"

 

He brought his hand up, and started caressing my cheek tenderly, his touch was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted to pull away but it felt so good. God, why does he needs to have that effect on me?

 

“I will do anything on my will to let you know that you are the most precious thing on my life” he whispered. Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. When he let me go, he took a step back, and eyed me for a moment. “This isn't over, Gwen. I can assure you that” he smiled at me, showing his perfect set of teeth. With one last look, he started walking away, but I was too shocked to move, to speak up. I saw him driving away, and that's when I snapped out of my thoughts.

 

I sighed, and slowly started walking inside my house. I closed the door, and leaned my back against it. Today has been so stressful, so tiring, and emotional. It's so hard to keep up with my own feelings.

 

I walked to my room, and saw the screen of my phone light up. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and unlocked it, just to be greeted by another text from Finn.

 

Finn:

 

Sleep tight, Gwen, just know I will keep thinking of you. Sweet dreams, baby.

Chapter 52 - If Things Could Be Different

The next morning, I had a pain in the neck, probably from sleeping in a bad position the night before. I vaguely got out of bed and rubbed at my sore neck in my way to the bathroom. When I turned on the light switch, my reflection in the mirror caught me off guard. I had forgotten how bad I looked. My skin was pale, my eyes were kind of puffy due to so much crying, my hair was a tangled mess. There was smudged mascara under my eyes, making me look like if someone had punched me and had left me black eyes. I cringed at my own reflection, it was too horrible. I grabbed the make-up remover and started wiping out my entire face.

 

I decided to take a quick shower, perhaps it could make me feel a little better. When I was done, I dried myself and then wrapped myself with the towel, walking directly to my room again. I went inside the closet and put on a loose over-size white shirt that Dani got for me last week, and gray sweatpants. I put my wet hair in a high ponytail, no make-up this time.

 

I walked downstairs and was greeted by my brother sitting on the counter, a coffee mug in his hands. He smiled at me, and placed the mug down. “Morning” he said.

 

“Morning” I replied, my voice hoarse.

 

“I've never seen you sleep this late on a Sunday” he said.

 

“Wait! Today's Sunday!?” that helped as a cold water bucket to wake me up for real this time.

 

“Yeah, so?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“So? I have school tomorrow! And–and I didn't finish my History paper, due tomorrow! Dammit”

 

“Now that's the Gwen I know and love” he said, taking a sip from his coffee.

 

“Ah!” I screamed and bolted up the stairs, earning a chuckle from Alec. I closed my door and grabbed my laptop, opening Word. I've been working on that 20-page essay the entire morning, with my book and notebook beside me. I had totally forgotten about it, and the fact that it's a Summative.

 

“Gwen, can I come in?” I heard Dani at the door.

 

“Hmm” I mumbled, I was too concentrated to get distracted now. I heard her soft foot-steps approaching me, but I didn't bother to look up. She placed a Starbucks coffee next to me on my desk.

 

“Alec told me on the phone that you were getting all crazy because of this History paper, so I thought some caffeine could give you a little boost”

 

I smiled gratefully at my best friend. “Once again, you win the award for the best friend of the year” I said which made her laugh.

 

“Oh wow, I already have like ten best friend awards in my shelf”

 

“Well, you earned them fairly, always surprising me with the way you understand and know what I need” I took a sip from my latte, feeling way much better than the time I woke up this morning. I was thankfully on my last page of the paper, so I stopped for a moment.

 

“My fingertips had never hurt this bad” I moaned, earning a chuckle from Dani, who sipped from her coffee.

 

“You forgetting about doing Homework is so unlike you” she said, and I nodded in agreement.

 

“I know, I know, but with everything that's been happening, I forget about what's important to me, school for starters”

 

“Yup, you're still goody-goody two shoes Gwen” she said, which made me nudge at her shoulder playfully.

 

“I need good grades if I want to go to a good College” I replied, now sitting on my bed, Indian style. She nodded and sat beside me. We stayed a few moments in silence before she spoke up.

 

“What happened yesterday?” I knew she was going to ask that. Though seriously I didn't want to talk about it, I believe Dani deserves to know. Not only is she my best friend, but she also was the one to actually show me what was going on.

 

I let go a heavy sigh, sipping on my hot coffee, “It's a long story”

 

“Lucky for you, I have absolutely nothing scheduled in my non-existent agenda” she said which made me laugh.

 

• • •

 

“Wow” was Dani's only response once I finished telling her exactly what happened, detail by detail. “And he texted you that too when he left?”

 

“Yup. Which made me more confused” I said truthfully. “Am I doing the right thing?”

 

“Gwen, of course you are. . .He lied to you, he made you believe that he actually cared, when in reality he was trying to look cool in front of his fans. You know how much they're talking about him right now because of this baby thing? In fact, it made him even more famous”

 

I let go a heavy sigh, not being able to stop thinking of Finn, that scene in the park of him on his knees, begging for my forgiveness. It was so hard to watch him like that. He always seems like this strong boy, in front of his fans, in front of the camera. He smiles and laughs at his own weirdness. But, I can't let him fool me, he needs to understand that he can't buy me with his own tears and apologies. I already listened to everything he had to say. I can't bare to listen to anymore of his bullshit.

 

When I finally finished my History paper, I felt more relieved, like a weight was being lift off my shoulders. Dani giggled at my expression when I closed my laptop.

 

“Yup, you're still nerdy Gwen!” she teased now laughing, which made me join her. Perhaps I'm nerdy, an organized freak, innocent, or too naïve, but that's the way I am, and you know what? I pretty much love it. I enjoy following rules, my organized schedules, I freaking love finishing my homework one week before due date. Those types of things make me think I'm ahead of people, that's just who I am. . .I never cared for what others think of me. I am who I choose to be, not what others want me to be.

 

After talking for like half an hour, Dani had to leave, even though she kept telling me how she could stay with me longer, claiming that she shall never leave a best friend alone after such heartbreak. But, I told her I was fine, because I was, or that's what I wanted to believe. Yeah, there is still that painful stinging in the pit of my stomach, and the thought of Finn couldn't stop making my heart ache. But, I could at least pretend I was fine, I think that's the better option than keep bawling my eyes out for something that I should've known from the beginning.

 

I let go a heavy sigh, while scrolling down those awful comments. I know what you're all thinking, I know I shouldn't see what people are saying about me. But I truly need to be aware of what they're saying, of what they're commenting about. I actually smiled when I saw some decent girls defending me. I thought all of them hated me, but I guess there are some understanding fans out there after all. Though I felt relieved that I was getting some support, that didn't let me relax too much. I was still in the spotlight that Finn basically forced on me.

 

I lied down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. How much I wish things could've been different. How much I wish that I would've had taken different decisions.

 

But of course, wishing is not going to get me anywhere.

 

“Gwen is such a bitch!”

 

“Omg, ikr!? She slept with Finn just to get pregnant and have his money! She basically ruined everything for him”

“Waste of life”

 

“Ugh! Try hard. . .”

 

I let out an exasperated scream as I closed my computer harshly. I know that I shouldn't take my anger out in inanimate