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You won’t be happy until there’s nothing left

Caught in an infinite loop
You better back off ‘cause I’m loosing it!


The Spiral
August 23, 2010

No one wants to help me out
No matter how loud I shout
Although all my dreams have been shattered
I’m gonna break out of this holding pattern
Silly little court jester doing my juggling act
Waiting on the Devil to make good on his pact
Don’t bring your war home to me
You don’t have to settle a score, so let it be
I’m the victim, but, you don’t have to believe

When that cold icy wind blows
And cuts me right down to the bone
You said you’d be there and I’m all alone
No helping hand to pull me out of this hole
Strong enough to stand on my own two feet
Pity’s not what I want, nor what I need
Yes, I’m the victim can’t you see
It’s no less true just because you don’t believe
Someone throw me a lifeline and help me

They say the words and put me in a rage
Play all the games and never turn a page
Thinkin’ they’re the new king in town
Tryin’ to beat me right into the ground
Like a teenager, go make minimum wage
But, grow up, pay the bills, and act your age
Just when I think I’ve earned their respect
The cold shoulder is all I’m ever gonna get

There’s a never ending spiral carrying me like a whirlwind
What once was calmed by you is now a stormy sea
Roll me over and over and crash me against the rocks again and again
I’m never strong enough to claim my rightful victory
Spinning through this spiral
Ever falling down into the pit
Spinning through this spiral
Just need a lifeline to avoid the split
Spinning through this spiral
With no lifeline and no intent to submit
I wish I could cast off the inertia of spinning through this spiral

Spinning through this spiral
Ever falling down into the pit
Spinning through this spiral
Just need a lifeline to avoid the split
Spinning through this spiral
With no lifeline and no intent to submit
Damn the inertia of spinning through this spiral


Dark River To Antares
July 19 - 25, 2010

Do you know what kind of hurt you’re causing
Every time you say it won’t work
Do you know what kind of doubt you’re sowing
Every time you tell me it’s wrong
They’ll have you believe
The sun and moon set on gold and silver
Unless you’re a winner
Only the rich get richer

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
They’ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares

The inner voice I depend on to guide me
Fell silent the day you’re gone
Will good fortune bring me serenity
Horoscope says it never comes
They’ll give you headaches
Weighing heavy on your weary mind
It all goes away when
You leave the money behind

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
They’ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares
With the turn of a phrase
They’ve taught you how to hate
Anytime anyone
Can’t pull their own weight
They’ll send you right down the dark river to Antares

Clean out my house damnit
And knock my planets in line
Gonna play celestial billiards ‘cause I deserve better than this
I’m drowning in a deluge of back luck, stop wasting time

It’s time to let luck align
Put good fortune right over here in my corner
Better keep quiet if I don’t have your support
That’s right, keep quiet

With the flip of a card
With the turn of a phrase
They’ll never hesitate
To run you right over
And send you right down the dark river to Antares
With the turn of a phrase
They’ve taught you how to hate
Anytime anyone
Can’t pull their own weight
They’ll send you right down the dark river to Antares
So don’t hold out your hand
They’ll tell you to go straight to Hades

When it weighs heavy on your mind
You gotta leave the money behind


Silent Rage
July 27, 2010

Can’t move forward
If I’m stuck in place
Can’t go backward
Can’t relive yesterday
Someone, anyone
Tell me which way to go
It’s a vicious circle
Trapped in limbo

Inner workings
Tormented feelings
Private perversions
Veiled in thin disguise
Just below the surface
Just below my surface
Barely kept in place
Under this Poker face

Silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Bright as a blue flame
Can’t turn the page
And I can’t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
I’m burning in silent rage

So where’s my sunrise
Where’s my bright new day
Gotta chase a dream
But there’s a price to pay
Can’t survive on so little
There has to be more
Opportunity ain’t
Knockin’ down my door

Inner workings
Tormented feelings
Private perversions
Veiled in thin disguise
Just below the surface
Just below my surface
Barely kept in place
Under this Poker face

Silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Just below the skin
Silent rage
Bright as a blue flame
Can’t turn the page
And I can’t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
An arrow shot with no aim
I’m burning in silent rage

Over and over
It’s a vicious circle
Goin’ over and over
Trapped in limbo
Over and over
“Please sir, can I have some more”
You know opportunity ain’t
Breaking down my door

It’s a silent rage
Buried within
Anger burning
Just below the skin
Silent rage
Written on my face
Bright as a blue flame
Can’t turn my page
Sure as hell can’t make it go away
Like a soul full of Black Plague
An arrow shot with no aim
When nothing ever goes my way
I’m burning in silent rage


Playing With Fire
August 24, 2010

I know you think you’re better
You really wear the right attitude
So if beggars can’t be choosers
Why play the game like a looser
That’s right, I’m better than that
Every right to be holier than thou
You think your way is the best
No room for choices, forget the rest

How presumptuous to think you can control my life and so much more
How arrogant to make that assumption
When you take a swing at me, better be sure to knock me on the floor

Don’t put me down ‘cause I’m not controlled by your demons
You’re playing with fire
Don’t you dare scream at me like a wailing banshee
You’re playing with fire
I don’t have time to sit here and listen to your sermons
You’re playing with fire
You’re as out of tune as an old worn out guitar string
You’re playing with fire
And, one day I’m gonna recoil like a spring

Just because you think you’re the best
Doesn’t mean you have my respect
Grow up is the message to you from me
Stay in your own little world and let me be
And stop playing with fire

Remember, evil is as evil does
Better stay with your angel
Curl up next to her all fetal
Don’t turn me into the evilest evil doer who ever eviled

How presumptuous to think you can control my life and so much more
How arrogant to make that assumption
When you take a swing at me, better be sure to knock me on the floor

Don’t put me down ‘cause I’m not controlled by your demons
You’re playing with fire
Don’t you dare scream at me like a wailing banshee
You’re playing with fire
I don’t have time to sit here and listen to your sermons
You’re playing with fire
You’re as out of tune as an old worn out guitar string
You’re playing with fire
One day I’m gonna recoil like a spring

Just because you think you’re the best
Doesn’t mean you have my respect
Grow up is the message to you from me
Stay in your own little world and let me be
Better stop playing with fire


Highway To Nowhere
August 30, 2010

Ninety-three degrees with crushing humidity
Might as well be a fire roaring
Hazy clouds like skid marks in the sky
Asphalt’s melting, it’s the warning signs you’re ignoring
It’s a crazy little world spinning like this
Perfect stance, take a swing but you miss
You want to be a legend in your own time
But you’re just a legend in your own mind

Like a hot wind blowing in the August heat
Always in a hurry to rush off to nowhere
To some important appointment to keep
Run a few red lights and ignore the exit signs
Just peel your rubber right on down the highway to nowhere
Your so-called busy life is only important in your own mind

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

Night falls over the sultry neon city
The smoke from another fire set you off and running
The impulse of money is always never enough
Stomp on the accelerator till you hit one-twenty
It’s a crazy little world spinning on its axis
When that scheme fell apart, did you take time to assess
If you want to be a legend in your own time
You gotta draw that dream right out of your mind

Like a hot wind blowing in the August heat
Always in a hurry to get to nowhere
To some important appointment to keep
Run a few red lights and ignore the exit signs
Spin your wheels right on down the highway to nowhere
Your so-called busy life is only important within your own mind

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

If you don’t listen
No one’s gonna listen
Squealing your tires
No, you don’t listen
So no one’s listenin’
You’re burning your rubber

If you see the warning signs
Can you hit the brake in time
Are you speeding off to nowhere
Or trying to leave it all behind

Spin your wheels down the highway to nowhere


Go Away
July 27 - 28, 2010

Go away
Release your hold on me
Get out of my life
Put an end to the loosing streak
Go away
And get out of my life
Take the negativity with you
Stay out of my sight

Push it away
Shove it aside
Lock the door
Keep it outside

I’ve had enough anger, sadness, and pain
It’s not who I am
Make it go away
I’m not ready for Arkham
I’m really not insane
The real me’s coming back through
Darkness, you have no place to stay
My message is loud and clear I said go away

Go away
I’m filled with confidence
Get out of my life
I’m no longer innocent
Go away
I’m ready to conquer the world
And get out of my life
While the clear blue sky unfurls

Push it away
Shove it aside
Lock the door
Keep it outside

I’ve had enough anger, sadness, and pain
It’s not who I am
Make it go away
I’m not ready for Arkham
I’m really not insane
The real me’s coming back through
Darkness, you have no place to stay
My message is loud and clear I said go away
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