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Remembering Altair

By

Rob Astor
© 2010 by Rob Astor


This is a collection of lyrical poetry inspired by the recent sudden loss of the person I was most close to in this whole world. Every part is a glimpse or a picture of a feeling or a frustration while I continue to wade through the unsure aftermath of her passing. Writing all these lyrics has been helpful for me to hold onto moments and crystallize certain memories. I don’t know yet if it’s been cathartic. What I do know is this collection poured from my soul like a deluge. At some point in time, I want to sing these. I’ve known my writer’s voice for many, many years. The next journey I undertake will be finding my inner voice.


You’re Not Here With Me
Stardust Speedway
Calliope Dreams
Dry Lindsey's Tears
Gravy Train
Man In The Hole
Heart Of The Storm
Gomorrah & Sodom
The Dragon Is Real
Face In The Mirror
Jingle, Jangle, Jingle
Rainy Day Café
Bring On The Rain
Voice No Longer Heard
Written In The Sky
Precious Melancholy
Walking With Ghosts
Bridge To Your Star
Too Afraid To Fly
I Have To Write Another Song
Escape Clause
Angry Letter To God
Summerland
Not Qualified
Infinite Loop
The Spiral
Dark River To Antares
Silent Rage
Playing With Fire
Highway To Nowhere
Go Away
Today Is Only Thursday
The Black Pearl
Tempest
Willow Bend
Don’t Tell Me No
Chase The Dream

Summer Rain On Ganymede
The Long Run


You’re Not Here With Me
July 28, 2010

Everything was supposed to be perfect forever
I didn’t sign up for separation
I’ve been looking for your face in all those places we used to go
The summer downpour is never ending
And the distant thunder is rumbling
Why is it that new beginnings always start off so slow

When does the sun rise if I feel like there’s no tomorrow
Can the moon shine forever if I illuminate my sorrow

You’re not here with me
The rain is never ending
You’re not here with me
The pain is unforgiving
Nothing can ever bring you back to me
Even if I fell down upon my knees
No matter how hard I cry
No one bargains with time
Now I walk through fading memories
‘Cause you’re not here with me

There’s a touch of sunshine in the golden leaves
Fragrance carried on the breeze
Lilacs, roses, impatiences, and marigolds
How am I ever supposed to get on with my life
Stars turn toward blue twilight
Summer fades and everything withers in winter’s cold

When does the sun rise if I feel like there’s no tomorrow
Can the moon shine forever if I illuminate my sorrow

You’re not here with me
The rain is never ending
You’re not here with me
The pain is unforgiving
Nothing can ever bring you back to me
Even if I fell down upon my knees
No matter how hard I cry
No one bargains with time
Now I walk through fading memories
‘Cause you’re not here with me

You were the bright center of my universe
Now I’m the black hole at the center of a galaxy of hurt
I might remember to count all my blessings
If it didn’t feel like the world was falling apart all around me

You’re not here with me
The rain is never ending
You’re not here with me
The pain is unforgiving
Nothing can ever bring you back to me
Even if I fell down upon my knees
No matter how hard I cry
No one bargains with time
Now I walk through fading memories
‘Cause you’re not here with me

The summer downpour is never ending


Stardust Speedway
July 16, 2010

Am I runnin’
Away from my life
Gonna keep on drivin’
‘Cause I’m never coming back

City streets flash by
A diamond field of neon lights
Lightning fills the sky
Hurricane raging deep inside
Written words
Spoken softly
Sometimes never heard
Seems like nothing here defines my life

I’m gonna keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
Speeding down Stardust Speedway
Gotta find my own way
Find my own way

Am I runnin’
Am I runnin’
Away from my life
Gonna keep on drivin’
Sailing down Stardust Speedway
Gonna keep on drivin’
‘Cause I’m never comin’ back

Cloudy moonlit night
I only shined within your glow
You’re outta my sight
Don’t know where to turn, where to go
Singing songs
Seldom sung
If I knew how long
I’d kickstart destiny’s manna flow

I’m gonna keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
Speeding down Stardust Speedway
Gotta find my own way
Find my own way

Am I runnin’
Am I runnin’
Away from my life
Gonna keep on drivin’
Flying down Stardust Speedway
Gonna keep on drivin’
‘Cause I’m never comin’ back

Gonna keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
Orion’s rising south and east
Gonna keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
Archer’s arrow leading the pack
Keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
And I’m never coming back

Gonna keep on drivin’
Tearing down Stardust Speedway
Gonna keep on drivin’
A diamond field of neon lights
Gonna keep on drivin’
There’s a hurricane raging tonight
Gonna keep on drivin’
Orion risin’
Tearing up Stardust Speedway
Gonna keep on drivin’
While Orion’s risin’
Am I runnin’
Am I runnin’
Away from my life
Am I runnin’
Am I runnin’
Zooming down Stardust Speedway
Gonna keep on drivin’
Keep on drivin’
‘Cause I’m never coming back


Calliope Dreams
July 22 - 25, 2010

The “Cement Mixer”
Gear grinding sound
Stock car racing
Horses running at Cedar Downs
“Driving Miss Daisy”
Carousel spinning
Crossing covered bridges
In a Cadillac from yester-century

Pipe organs and snare drums sounding off calliope dreams
Hear that Merry-Go-Round music
Playing “Come Josephine, In My Flying Machine”
I can stroll along the beach with you at Lake Erie
But music and the universe will never bring you back to me
So I walk wide awake right into these calliope dreams

Warm stuffed Snoopy
“Field Of Dreams”
Cotton candy and caramel apples
Corn dogs and onion rings
Videos all night long
Remember the garage sale queens
Should memory fade away
We’ll go “Dancing On The Ceiling”

Pipe organs and snare drums sounding off calliope dreams
Hear that Merry-Go-Round music
Playing “Come Josephine, In My Flying Machine”
I can stroll along the beach with you at Lake Erie
But music and the universe will never bring you back to me
So I walk wide awake right into these calliope dreams

Pipe organs and snare drums sounding off calliope dreams
Hear that Merry-Go-Round music
Playing “Come Josephine, In My Flying Machine”
I can stroll along the beach with you at Lake Erie
But music and the universe will never bring you back to me
So I walk wide awake right into these calliope dreams


Dry Lindsey’s Tears
September 22 - 27, 2010

Daisy’s imagination gave them life
Real as real in Daisy’s sight
Today
Theodore and Lindsey came by to play
Much to their dismay
Everything faded away
They discovered Daisy Mae
Left for Heaven yesterday

She didn’t mean to leave them behind
Perhaps she’ll come back again in time

Sing a song of love for Daisy
But nothing can be said to dry Lindsey’s tears
Write a story and keep her memory
But nothing can replace all the years
Of laughter and joy spent in her loving arms
Funny how in a broken heart
All is cold that once was warm
Remember Daisy’s smiling eyes
Remember to keep her star in the sky
Fly with her hand-in-hand
Fly away to Neverland
Remember the whisper of love that you hear
Nothing can be said to dry Lindsey’s tears

Daisy kept her mother’s love in the Morning Star
A few minutes away, never too far
Last night
Theodore and Lindsey lost their sight
They sit silent now
Their lights have gone out
Marionettes frozen in time
Motionless lifeless mimes

She didn’t mean to leave them behind
They’ll always be together within her mind

Sing a song of love for Daisy
But nothing can be said to dry Lindsey’s tears
Write a story and keep her memory
But nothing can replace all the years
Of laughter and joy spent in her loving arms
Funny how in a broken heart
All is cold that once was warm
Remember Daisy’s smiling eyes
Remember to keep her star in the sky
Fly with her hand-in-hand
Fly away to Neverland
Remember the whisper of love that you hear
Nothing can be said to dry Lindsey’s tears


Gravy Train
July 9, 2010

Gambler, you know you got to choose
Sometimes they win but you know you always loose
Run off in your rage
Stop playin’ little boy games and act your age

You been ridin’ that gravy train
Boy you been ridin’ that gravy train

Lookin’ in the mirror and actin’ so vain
Want to see your face up on the front page
Knowing your place
Too shy to get on stage

You been ridin’ that gravy train
Boy you been ridin’ that gravy train
Sheriff saw easy money flow
Judge say easy come easy go
You been ridin’ that gray train
You been ridin’ that gravy train now boy you got to pay

Lost little child walkin’ through the rain
Dealing with your invisible pain
No eternal flame
Only you make everyone know your name

You been ridin’ that gravy train
Boy you been riding that gravy train
Cut off judge said boy now you got to pay
You been ridin’ that gravy train
Ridin’ that gravy train
You been ridin’ that gravy train judge said now boy you got to pay


Man In The Hole
September 19 - 20, 2010

You care too much about diamonds and shiny things
Much too egocentric to find out what life really means
You always bring people down when you fall
‘Cause you never believe in good or that fortune will call

Hey-yo, man in the hole
Always waitin’ for someone to throw you a bone
But you don’t play well with anyone
And you can’t do it on your own
Much too busy to care about much of anything
You’re gonna sail around the world alone in your boat
If only you believe life is better than you see
How far will you go when you end up all alone

What’s it’s gonna be like when she dumps you to the curb
How will you cope with another world of hurt
Cared too much for tarnished diamonds and pretty lacy things
Much too egocentric to find out what life really means

Hey-yo, man in the hole
Always waitin’ for someone to throw you a bone
But you don’t play well with anyone
And you can’t do it all on your own
Much too busy to learn about much of anything
You’re gonna sail around the world alone in your boat
If only you believe life is better than you see
How far will you go when you wind up all alone

Listen to what I’m tellin’ you now
You better save yourself somehow
If you really know everything
Make your world stop spinning

Hey-yo, man in the hole
You always think you’re entitled to that bone
But you don’t play well with anyone
And you know you can’t do it on your own
You’re much too busy to learn much about anything

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