N is for... (Checklist Book 14) L DuBois (readict books txt) 📖

from possibilities of if and when. “I want my jacket back.”

Her wide eyes met his, and then, much to his dominant delight, she lowered her gaze. He felt her relax, her bodyweight settling on his thighs.

She took one big breath, her chest and shoulders rising. On the exhale she shrugged out of the jacket, letting it fall away.

Leaving her gloriously, submissively naked on his lap

Have you lost your mind? Run. Tonight has already been dramatic and emotional and adding in a full D/s scene will only exacerbate that.

Don’t you dare move. You are not going to leave without subbing for this delicious, perfect man.

What are you doing? This is such a bad idea.

Ask him to whip your tits and pussy.

Autumn’s internal monologue was having an identity crisis.

It was easy to imagine cartoon devil and angel versions of herself perched on each shoulder. The problem was she wasn’t sure whether it was the devil or angel who thought staying to sub for Daniel was a bad idea. On one hand, scening with him might go a long way to helping her deal with her feelings about her own submission, which was a positive thing, so that might mean the angel was pro-subbing to Daniel.

On the other hand staying was a form of emotional, and probably physical, masochism. In that case it was the devil encouraging her to stay.

Daniel had moved them to the chair, and now he leaned back, laying his arms along the back. It put space between them, and meant her breasts were at his eye level.

Her nipples were hard and tight thanks to the new exposure to the cool air.

“You have lovely breasts and nipples. The piercings are a nice accent.” Daniel’s voice had deepened with either arousal or dominance. His shoulder muscles were tense, his fingers curling into his palms.

Her own tension ratcheted up to meet his and she watched those muscles, sure that any moment he would make a move. Touch her, grab her.

His breath hissed between his teeth and she watched as he forced himself to relax. Damn it, that was hot. That self-restraint a sign of exactly how in control he was.

“You’re scared,” Daniel said softly.

That had Autumn sitting up a little straighter. “I’m not scared.”

“You are. We just talked about it.” His brows rose as a smile touched his lips.

“No, I’m scared for the other subs.”

“And for yourself.”

Right now, she was terrified. Terrified that in breaking her own rules, in scening with him, she would not just reopen old scars, but deepen the wounds.

She could have said that, but she didn’t want to talk about her feelings anymore. She needed time to process on her own.

The devil on her shoulder took control. She raised her chin, looking down her nose at him and smirked. “I’ve played with far more dangerous tops than you.”

The smile faded but his brows stayed up. “And how do you know I’m not dangerous?”

She wiggled on his lap. “Hopefully you’re the right amount of dangerous.”

“Hopefully I’m dangerous enough that, by the time our weekend is over you will feel well-used and at peace with your submission.”

She dropped her gaze to his chest, swallowing hard.

He ducked his head a little to catch her gaze. “And then you’ll also see that I still respect you.”

Not wanting to meet his eyes, she turned her head.

“You’re going to give me everything you have. Submit every part of your body and soul to me.”

Autumn’s breath hitched, and she was hyper aware of her breasts bobbing in time with her rapid breaths.

“And when it’s over, you’ll see that I still think you’re brilliant and capable. I won’t think any less of you, Autumn. Being sexually submissive is courageous. The fact that someone made you think otherwise is a travesty.”

“It’s not your job to fix my fucked up headspace,” Autumn said softly.

“I’m not going to fix you, because you’re not broken.”

“I am, a little.” She smiled wryly.

“No,” he snapped in reprimand. “You’re wounded. Wounds heal, and there are ways to make them heal faster.”

Damn it, he was going to make her cry. And maybe…maybe he was right. If she really submitted to him, and he still respected her, then maybe…maybe it would mean she was okay.

“Any top worthy of the title would do what I’m about to.”

A spike of arousal burned through the feelings she was having “And what are you about to do?”

“I’m going to use you.” Daniel wrapped his arms around her, jerking her forward so she fell against his chest, her palms on his shoulders, her breasts a hair’s distance from his face.

“I’m going to make you submit to me every way I can think of.” He turned his head, lips brushing the inner curve of her right breast.

She swayed, trying to angle her nipple across his lips. She was desperate for sensation.

Daniel’s hands gripped her waist and he forced her back a few inches. “No.”

The reprimand hit her like the lash of a whip and her insides went soft and compliant.

“Your nipples will be played with…sometimes pleasurably, sometimes painfully…when I choose.”

“Yes, Sir,” she whispered.

“I’m going to use you hard. Because if I don’t, if I go easy on you, it won’t have as much of an impact.”

“Ha.”

“Pun intended,” he finished.

They were quiet for a moment. Still. It wasn’t awkward, but anticipatory.

“If I go easy on you, you won’t find it as meaningful if, at the end of the weekend, I ask you out on a nice, normal vanilla date.”

“That’s your plan to show me you still respect me? A pity date.”

“Pity date? Absolutely not what I intend.”

“I don’t need—”

He didn’t let her finish that thought. “You do. We all need something. That’s why we spend an obscene amount of money to be members.”

“It is a little horrific if you think about it,” she murmured.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Autumn. Tell me that you don’t need someone to tie you down. Take control. All so that you can let go…and submit.”

Her breath caught, her stomach muscles tensed, even as her pussy pulsed