How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes (nonfiction book recommendations .TXT) 📖

Level Two: Facts

People who know each other but who are just acquaintances often discussfacts . "You know, Joe, there were 242 sunny days last year," or "Yeah, well, we finally decided to put in a swimming pool to beat the heat."

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Level Three: Feelings and Personal Questions Friends often express theirfeelings to each other, even on subjects as dull as the weather: "Gosh, Sam, I just love these sunny days." They also ask each otherpersonal questions , like "How about you? Are you a sun person?"

Level Four: We Statements

This is the level of intimacy that very close friends or lovers enjoy. It's not cliches, and it's richer than facts.

It's even more than feelings. It'swe statements .

Lovers discussing the weather might say, "If this good weather keeps up, wewill have a great trip."

TECHNIQUE #12:

Create the sensation of intimacy with your Quarry even if you've just met minutes before. Scramble the signals in his or her psyche by skipping conversational levels one and two, and cutting right to levels three and four.

Here's a technique that grows out of this phenomenon.

Use it to make a new Quarry subliminally feel you are already a couple, already an item, already in love.

I call it thperemature we , because you cut through levels one and two and jump straight to three and four. Scramble the conversational signals. Ask your new Quarry's feelings on something the way you would ask a friend. Uswee sentences that are usually reserved for lovers and other intimates.

Say you're chatting with a new at a party. Elicit his or her feelingsthe way friends do. "Do you PLP

enjoy parties?" Proceed to the lovers' level, we statements. "Yes, we've really got to have a lot of stamina to get

through these holiday parties, don'twe?"

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Normally, in a budding relationship, people don't feel they're ready fowrestatements. But when clever Hunters and Huntresses prematurely saywe, it subconsciously brings their Quarry closer.

Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of

Intimacy

Here's another conversational trick to enhance intimacy. Usually, when talking with strangers, we keep our guard up. We don't readily disclose personal information about ourselves.

But, gradually, as we become more intimate with someone, we give away little pieces of ourselves like a gift. We might tell a friend or lover that we have a terrible time trying not to bite our nails, or, isn't it awful, our hair is so greasy we have to wash it everyday.

When you reveal little foibles like this to a good friend, chances are he or she will reciprocate by laughing and saying something like, "Oh, you thinthkat's bad? I go berserk keeping my hands off a zit," or "Your greasy hair is nothing. My barber asks me if I want a cut or an oill change!" That's how friends go on.

Such revelatory repartee creates a bond, an intimacy between friends. By sharing a secret, or making a little confession, you show your Quarry that you're not on guard. You are being vulnerable.

However, be sure you're on fairly strong footing with your Quarry before using this technique I call early-bird disclosure . If you sense he or she doesn't respect you enough yet, it can backfire. A

fascinating study revealed that when a person of superior competence commits a social blunder, we like him or her more, but when a person of average competence makes a blooper, we like him or her less.24

Revealing a small foible is endearing. A big one is not. For example, too early in a relationship, telling your new friend that you've been twice divorced, that you had your driving license suspended, or that you got turned down by a prestigious law

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school could turn your new Quarry off "What a loser!" she might say to herself.

The facts themselves may really be no big deal.

Those may be the extent of the black marks on your otherwise flawless life record of solid relationships, no misdemeanors, and a great academic record. But this early in your relationship, she has no way of knowing that. Her instinctive reaction is, "What else is coming? If he shares that with me so quickly, what else is hidden? A closet full of ex-spouses? A criminal record? A wall plastered with rejection letters?"

Lock your closet door and save your bigger skeletons for later. Now is the time to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. But do reveal a tiny foible.

Your Quarry will find it endearing and feel closer to you.

TECHNIQUE #13:

EARLY-BIRD DISCLOSURE

If you sense your conversation with a new Quarry is going smoothly, make aminorrevelation about yourself. It creates intimacy. Choose some tiny foible and reveal it like a confession, but make sure it's really minor.

Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap

One can debate whether, as Shakespeare suggested, all the world's a stage. But it's indisputable that when an attractive stranger asks you (usually in the first five minutes), "And what do you do?" he or she is auditioning you for possible friendship. How you answer this question can make a big difference in what role your Quarry will cast you in. Will you be a star or just a bit player in his life?

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Are you prepared? Actors prepare audition monologues. Singers prepare audition songs. Just as experienced performers know that one song or monologue is not right for every audition, one standard answer to "What do you do?" is not right for all Quarry. You must first size up this attractive stranger before answering, then give what I call youNr utshell Resume .

If you want this new person to fall in love with you, you must consider three factors before answering this question:

1. You want to sound like the type of man or woman he or she could love. 2. You want to sound confident and enthusiastic about your life. 3. You want your answer to have a hook so your Quarry will keep talking to you. Number 1: "I'm the Type of Man or Woman You Could Love."

Granted, when you first meet an attractive stranger, you know very little about