one stroy two souls by Vanessa (english readers .txt) š
- Author: Vanessa
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Aria
Iāve looked at the mirror seven times since I woke up this morning. I thought I knew what my face looked like, Iāve seen it for seventeen years and yet have never really looked past my reflection. But every time I glanced at that mirror, at that girl looking back, itās hard to see if that was every me. I traced the swells of my lips repeatedly as if they could easily disappear beneath my touch, they were a painful reminder of my father. From the gentle waves of my dark hair to the almond shape of my eyes and the one thing that standout the most, the deep greens of my eyes. I was my fathers child.
September 7,2010
I have never been this nervous about the first day of school, but today how can I not, new school, new house, new everything. My mom is making me write in this stupid diary, she thinks it would help me vent out my feelings and help me see how my life has change in the coarse of one year. But change is isnāt always good. I canāt take another day like one of the days in past three month. Life before those heart wrenching months was perfect from the out side. My friends envied what they thought was a picture perfect life , and I guess it was at time, when I didnāt know that every time my dad came home late it was because he was cheating on my mom. And how stupid was I not to see that my āperfectā family was crumbling, until the day when it finally snapped. I donāt think I even got out of my room that day when my parents gave me and Lily that talk ā Your mom and I have grown apart, we just arenāt in love with each other like that anymore.ā More like you would rather sleep with every women in the city except the one you are married to, and not feel guilty about coming home to your FAMLY! If you canāt tell that I strongly hate my dad I do, for all of the tears he had cause me and my mom to shed. Lily was too young to understand but she cried with us when my mom told her that our dad would live in a different house. Like she would know the difference he was barely home to begin with. Thatās the worst part about all of this Lily she is so young she doesnāt get why our dad isnāt here with us when we have dinner. Why he is not here to tuck her in at night? What kind of man would do this to his family just abandon them like they meant nothing to him. I feel like every kiss, every hug and very smile was all fake. He didnāt mean any of it .
I couldnāt write any more. I could feel the tears trying to escape from my eyes it stung holding it back, but I promised myself that I would not shed another tear for that man. And I, unlike him I will keep all my promises.
I threw the diary on my bed with unnecessary force I had enough of it for one day. I ran back thinking that my mom could come in, and read it, it would break her heart. So I hid it behind my desk for now. I was angry that the diary was right, I couldnāt deny it any longer. My dad didnāt love me.
I took one last glance at the mirror. After so many changes of new cloths, too many to count I had given up. Nothing about to day would have made me feel any better about how my life was going.
I slowly walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen looking around trying to avoid it, but there she was pouring coffee in her tall cup, motioning for my to come over.
ā I m not hungryā I said in a voice that even I didnāt recognize. It was soft and lifeless. A flower slowly dieing without water without sun without what it truly what most.
ā Pleaseā she whispered in my ear. The smell of her strong coffee entered my nose and woke up every one of my senses.
āDonāt make it any harder than it is.ā her voice was pleading
How can I argue with that, she has suffered as much as me, maybe even more if I wasnāt happy why bring her down lower, with me?
ā I know these past month have been...ā she paused like she couldnāt find a word horrible enough to say for how she thought I felt. Depressing? I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs to show her exactly how I felt in this last few months. June, July and August are heavy weights upon my heart.
āhard. But I know that if you let your guard down you would love it here I promise.ā
she sounded like she wanted to cry so I grabbed the muffin took a bite just to please her and headed towards the table where Lily was playing with her pancake.
I envy her she look a lot like my mother heart shaped face fair skinned light brown hair, she reminded me of the sun how she seem to shine in beauty that was humble but present. I took the fork sticky from syrup and knife away from her and started cutting the pancake to smaller pieces so they could fit in her mouth easily. My mom would have usually done this but she has had a lot on her mind lately.
āWhy are you up so early, your school doesnāt start for another hour and a half.ā I mustered enough enthusiasm to be that loving sister that I once was. The loving sister that I know she needed right now. Itās hard to love when your filled to the rim with hate. I know that Iām not strong enough now for someone to lean on me, when I my self didnāt have both feet planted firmly on the ground.
āI wanted to help mommy make breakfastā Lily said sensing my sadness. I was always so surprising how well she could since my feelings.
āDo you still want me to pick you up after school?ā I wanted to take the pain way from her eyes. she knows that Iām sad and that would bring her down and I didnāt want that. Lily deservers a happy first day of school.
ā YES!ā she grind so wide I almost forgot about every thing. Almost.
ā Well I found this really cool ice cream shop a few blocks away from your school, and they have a bunch of flavors and a playground so I was wondering if you would like to come with me?ā
Her grin was even wider than before
ā Iāll take that as a yesā
All she could do was nod. What I would do to be a kid again with no worries, where every thing could make you smile.
I looked at my mom she was smiling too, I havenāt seen her smile like that I such a long time it just reminds me of the sadness. I had to get out of here before I break their moment on happens with my tears.
I cleared my throat āBye mom bye Lily. Love you guysā
My mom kissed the top of my head
ā I love youā she hugged me tight like she was afraid to let go
ā Donāt forget the ice cream shopā Lily yield
ā I wonāt I promiseā I had a knot in my stomach telling me if I had another bite of that chocolate chip muffin that I would see it again before lunch, so I through it in my backpack when I got out the door.
Grayson
Beep beep BEEP! Ahhh morning already? I rubbed my eyes hoping that it will help me see clearer. But the blast of sun light coming from my window was enough to blind me so I squinted at the clocks glowing numbers screaming I have over slept. ācrap!ā I cursed to myself quietly; I canāt afford to start the year being late. If I donāt completely do āwonderfulā this year I wonāt be able to graduate with my class. Iāll be one of the super seniors who got held back, how embarrassing would that be? It would also be another disappointment for my parents to add to their invisible list. I canāt take another year of high school or living in this dreadful house any longer.
So, I should have woken up on the first beep or even the fourth time, but that party last night was wicked, from the little I remembered of it .Which reminds me I have a killer hangover.
I pushed the covers away from me and stood up from my bed. I got up too fast, it felt like all the blood in my body rushed to my head.
I looked around my room it was clean. All the cloth I had on the floor the morning before was picked up, everything was put away nicely. There on top of my jean drawer was the outfit I planed on wearing today. After I got changed and brushed my teeth quickly, remembering that I was already late I dashed out the door
ā Maryā I said after exiting my room I hear her run up the stairs with shuffling feet.
ā Yes Mr. Rams?ā she said quietly meeting my eyes
ā Mary you donāt have to call me that, Mr. Rams is my dad. And you donāt have to clean my room I am capable of doing it myself .ā Which you wouldnāt notice, because I donāt.
ā Iām sorry Grayson but your mother said to you guyās are having guest tonight and the house must be spotless.ā
āGuest?ā I said puzzled no one told me about anyone coming to the house tonight. I guess they didnāt want me to mess things up by attending.
ā Your mother also said for you to be here at five so that you may clean up before dinnerā
āwho is coming over?ā I asked not really caring because if they know my parents they where people just like them, boring and busy.
ā Your mothers friendsā family I think. Thereās breakfast on the table.ā Mary pointed to the dinning room table from the stairs. The table that always felt to large for a house soā¦ lonely.
ā I got to go Iām late for school, but thanksā
Itās sad to think that Marry is the closest thing I have to family, but itās true, she always here when I needed her unlike my parents who are always gone doing something more important than coming home and spending time with their son. I guess that shows how much they care about me if they care about me at all. Very little.
***
The first bell rang thirty minutes ago I checked my watch as
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